(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Gong in 1995. I'm a veteran practitioner but I haven't been diligent. I felt that I have often been interfered with.
I wanted to be diligent, but I was overwhelmed with my everyday obligations. I was interfered with when I sent forth righteous thoughts. The phone would ring or someone would knock on the door. Besides a full time job, I cooked three meals, dropped off and picked up my child from school, did housework, and took care of my elderly parents.
When I could not do the three things well, I naturally started blaming others. “My husband doesn’t help with the chores.” “I’m the only one who cares about my parents and none of my siblings help.”
I looked inward to find my shortcomings and discovered that I held grudges and needed to practice forbearance. I knew that I had to let go of these attachments. However, just forcing myself to let go was not of much use, as I still was not motivated to do the three things.
When I tried to send truth clarification messages via texting, my phone stopped working after a while. I tried to speak to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution face to face, but the result was not good. Fellow practitioners asked me to help print truth clarification calendars, but my printer suddenly stopped working. What’s more, my child lost his temper on and off and vented his anger on me. I knew that I needed to be more tolerant but just couldn't get myself into the mood to accomplish what I knew I had to do. What went wrong?
Since the day I started practicing Falun Dafa, I wanted to be a good person and hoped that others would notice it and say, “Look at her, she is so kind. Falun Dafa practitioners are good people.”
I suddenly realized that my motives were wrong. I focused so much on how to be a good person. For example, I did all chores, took good care of my child and my mother-in-law. I cook nutritious food every meal for my husband and tried my best to take care of my parents and siblings.
At my work place, I am the most dedicated worker. Others often commented that I was like a babysitter for everyone. How tired I was! After all, a good person is still a person who doesn’t have supernatural powers.
I enlightened that the purpose of my life was to be a practitioner and assist Teacher to help people awaken and understand Falun Dafa. Being a good person in ordinary society is simply a manifestation of a practitioner following the principles of “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” It is, however, not the main purpose of a practitioner in this human world.
My heart suddenly brightened and I truly felt the magnificence of being a practitioner. The conflicts with others seemed so insignificant. I finally have found the root of my attachment.
Miraculously my printer started working. My child studied quietly without me reminding him. I realized that I truly need to read Teacher’s recent articles and understand the responsibilities of a practitioner.
Please point out any shortcomings in my understanding!
Category: Improving Oneself