(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Gong since 1996, with Master helping me along the way. After the persecution of Falun Gong started in July 1999, I have had many opportunities to improve myself in cultivation, oppose the persecution, and tell others the facts about Falun Gong. Below are some experiences I would like to share.
Family Tribulation
I was arrested in July 2000 and detained by the police for a month. My husband was furious when I returned home. He swore at me and beat me. He also told me not to interact with other practitioners or bring Falun Gong materials home. One time after finding me leaving home and going to another practitioner's, he rode a bike after me. As soon as he caught up with me, he hit me and yelled, “How dare you try to see a Falun Gong practitioner again?!”
Seeing the massive defamation and suppression of Falun Gong in China, more and more practitioners went to Beijing to appeal. In October 2000, a time when large numbers of practitioners were going to Beijing every day, in my celestial eye I saw many people going west by bike. They all seemed in a hurry, as if there was an urgency to what they were doing. Then a green gate showed up in front me, which quickly started to close, with only a narrow gap left.
Knowing these were practitioners who went to Beijing to validate the Fa, I realized I had to do something, too. So two local practitioners and I decided to go to Beijing. We were apprehended in Tiananmen Square by officials who traveled all the way from my city to stop people traveling to Beijing to appeal. They took us back in police vans and kept us in a detention center.
When I returned home a month later, my husband asked me what my plans were. I told him that I would continue practicing Falun Gong while doing my everyday job.“You cannot do Falun Gong anymore. You have to listen to me!” he shouted. To which I replied, “No! I will not stop practicing.”
Seeing my husband holding a stick ready to hit me, my daughter rushed between us to protect me. My husband shouted at her, “Go away, or I will beat you too!” My daughter didn't budge, so my husband had to stop. Nonetheless, he didn't let me sleep that night and pushed me out onto the balcony.
He took me to work the next day. The Party secretary there demanded that I write a guarantee statement not to practice Falun Gong again. He said, “You need to promise to follow the Party and and not do anything unlawful.”
“I cannot do that. I haven't done anything wrong.” I refused to write anything and left.
As soon as we got home, my husband pushed me down, hit me with a belt and slapped me in the face. Feeling that was not enough, he took a metal rod from the furnace and struck my legs with it several times. It hurt terribly, and my legs turned purple and began to swell. I had bruises all over and a lump on my head. My husband also threatened to divorce me, leaving not a penny for me, while I had to pay him back the 4,000 yuan fine that we had to pay for my two arrests.
“If you insist on divorcing me, go ahead!” I said firmly.
When I told my daughter about the divorce, she said that she would commit suicide if we did. Climbing out of the window, she stood on the ledge and asked me, “Do you still want to divorce?” I didn't say a thing and went to another room.
Although my husband didn't go through with the divorce, he didn't loosen his control of me either. Whenever he saw me doing anything related to Falun Gong, he swore at me and beat me.
He was scared and didn't want me to be arrested again, to lose my job, or to harm our daughter's future. But I was terrified of him.
Getting Rid of Fear Helped Improve My Environment
The turning point was 2001. One day my husband saw some Falun Gong brochures in my handbag and took them out to tear them up. I told him to stop, but he didn't listen and hit me on the head. I rushed into the bathroom, locked myself in, and began to cry. My daughter was worried and tried to comfort me, but I didn't let her in and kept sobbing inside the bathroom.
Then I remembered Master's words in the article “Beyond the Limits of Forbearance:”
“Forbearance (ren) is not cowardice, much less is it resigning oneself to adversity. Dafa disciples’ Forbearance is noble; is the manifestation of beings’ magnificent, indestructible, and diamond-like solidity; is tolerance for the purpose of upholding the truth; and is mercy toward and salvation of beings who still have human nature and righteous thoughts. Forbearance is absolutely not the limitless giving of free rein, which allows those evil beings who no longer have any human nature or righteous thoughts to do evil without limit.”
I realized that I should not remain a passive victim anymore. I am a Dafa disciple on the righteous path, and my husband was being manipulated by the old force elements to do bad things. As a practitioner, I needed to safeguard and validate the Fa.
Without any fear, I walked out of the bathroom, went straight up to my husband, and said, “That is enough! From now on, you are not allowed to beat me anymore, not even once.”
He seemed frightened and replied “I will not beat you. I promise.”
Because I was not fearful, the old force elements controlling my husband were dissolved. My husband stopped beating me and let up on restricting my involvement in Falun Gong.
The situation at work also improved. After my first arrest in July 2000, I was prohibited from taking days off. They even occasionally forced me work on weekends. Because I had to take care of my family and do the three things that a Dafa disciple should do, my free time and energy were stressed. I consistently sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate such interference and asked Master for help.
Not long after, officials at work told me to retire early, two years earlier than the normal retirement age. With a pension, I did not have to worry about making ends meet, either. I was very grateful for Master's arrangement.
My Husband Quits the CCP
After theNine Commentaries on the Communist Partywas published, I joined other practitioners in encouraging people to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations to ensure a brighter future for themselves. My husband refused to listen and tried to discourage us with sarcasm. Thinking that he was a hopeless cause, I stopped worrying about his future.
Master later gave me a hint. In a dream, I asked my husband to quit the CCP--and he agreed! In another dream, after hearing many people I talked to agree to quit the CCP, my husband was delighted, more joyful than anything that had happened to him in the last few years.
Waking up from the dream, I knew that I should not have given up on him. I used to think that there was no common ground between us because of my two arrests and telling others about Falun Gong. But now I realize that I was barely being compassionate to him. After all, our getting together and being one family could be the result of a long predestined relationship from our previous lives. How could I have given up on him so easily? So I decided to be nice to him and save him.
When I went to visit another practitioner one day, it was very late when I got home. My initial thought was that my husband might be upset and complain about it. Then I realized that was a human notion, so I began to send forth righteous thoughts and asked Master for help. My husband greeted me as usual and was not angry at all. The following day, we talked about quitting the CCP, and he agreed.
My family tribulations were finally resolved. I knew that Master had helped me remove the old force elements that interfered with me. From then on, my husband did not complain about my involvement in telling others about Falun Gong or returning home late after being with other practitioners.
Conflict with a Fellow Practitioner
When other people treated me badly or said sarcastic things to me, I often reacted with negative thoughts and hatred. Although I made some progress in controlling my behavior after improving in Fa-study and sharing with other practitioners, it was still difficult to overcome such tribulations when they surfaced.
One example was my relationship with Practitioner B. We had known each other for a long time, but there always seemed to be a barrier between us. I often believed that I was right and that it was she who caused trouble. As a result, I didn't look inward or talk to her about our situation.
She planned to sell her apartment and buy a new one. Because nobody showed up to buy it after the advertisement went out, she came to me for advice. I recommended to her an estate agent, whom I trusted, and asked them to find out about new property for her. After learning that only three apartments were left in one community, I passed the information on to Practitioner B and urged her to act quickly.
Soon after that, her old apartment sold and she moved into the new one. But she didn't say a word to me about it.
When I went to see her one day, nobody answered the door. Her neighbor told me that she had moved, which made me feel very bad. When I met her at group Fa-study that evening, I asked about it in a tone of complaint. She said apologetically, “I have told so many people about my move, but I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry.”
I was still in a bad mood and didn't say anything.
“Are you doing good things for others and expecting something in return?” asked Practitioner C, who noticed that I wasn't happy.
I shook my head and thought to myself, "I'm always a good person who is willing to help others. Why would I seek something in return?"
Seeing that I was unaware of my problem, Practitioner C told me story: "Once upon a time, a person lost a chicken. He looked around and noticed that his neighbor was preparing to cook a chicken. The person told the neighbor that chicken was his and took it. The neighbor remained calm and did not say a word. Later, the person saw his own chicken return and realized that he had wronged his neighbor.
“Even an everyday person could remain calm when being wronged. We are practitioners and should do better than that, shouldn't we?” Practitioner C asked.
Looking back, I realize Master was using Practitioner C to give me a hint. But I was immersed in human notions and kept thinking: "How could you all treat me like this?"
Cultivation Is Serious
Several days passed before I ran into Practitioner B again. I could not hold myself back any longer. I complained and shouted at her, dredging up everything I could think of that had happened over the past 10 years.
When I finished, I looked at her and notice she seemed depressed. “I am so sorry,” she said.
I felt bad, too. Why did I want to make another practitioner feel bad?
Back home, I read this in “Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan:”
“Whether you are right or not is, for a cultivator, not important whatsoever. Don’t argue left and right, and don’t emphasize who’s right and who’s wrong. Some people are always stressing that they’re right, but even if you are right, even if you’re not wrong, so what? Have you improved on the basis of the Fa? The very act of using human thinking to stress who’s right and who’s wrong is in itself wrong. That’s because you are then using the logic of ordinary people to evaluate yourself, and using that logic to make demands on others. As gods see it, for a cultivator to be right or wrong in the human world is not important in the least, whereas eliminating the attachments that come from human thinking is important, and it is precisely your managing to eliminate those attachments rooted in your human thinking as you cultivate that counts as important.”
I became clearer in my mind after reading this and found I had many human notions. I went to Practitioner B and told her about my thoughts. I said, "I shouldn't have picked on you. That keeps us from improving together, and our loopholes can be taken advantage of to interfere with us. As a result, we may not be able to save sentient beings."
Practitioner B and I shared with each other for a long time, and each of us found lots of areas where we need to improve. In the end, all our complaints and hatred disappeared. Our hearts were together, and there was no longer any barrier between us.
From this lesson I learned that cultivation is serious. I am very grateful for Master's compassion.
