(Minghui.org) I was born in the 1980’s. I divorced my husband out of selfishness in 2010. I could care less for the feelings of my son, my parents, or my parents-in-law.
I also caused great harm to my son. I was always irritable and dealt with problems in an extreme manner. If my son made mistakes, or if he did not listen, I beat him. I never took his feelings into consideration, so he became my punching bag. Gradually, hatred developed in his young heart.
I came across Falun Dafa in late 2011 and decided to take up the practice, including following Master Li Hongzhi's teachings and cultivating my heart. I wanted to be kind to my son and make up for my past wrongdoing. I later remarried my husband and decided to develop a harmonious life.
Master said:
“If you always keep a compassionate heart, and a peaceful state of mind, when you run into problems you’ll handle them well because it will give you space as a buffer. If you are always compassionate and friendly to others, if you always consider other people when you do things, and whenever you have issues with other people you first think about whether they can take it or whether it will cause them harm, then you won’t have any problem.” (Zhuan Falun)
I read the main book, Zhuan Falun to my son. When he heard the teachings for the first time, he cried. He said, “Mom, you harmed me. If I had studied the Fa when I was young, I would not be as I am now.”
I felt very guilty and apologized to him, “Your mother made many mistakes. Now, I've learned Dafa and have completely changed. If I don't realize that I'm doing something wrong, please tell me and help me change. I hope you forgive me. The most important thing now is for us to study the Fa and become better people. Everything will be fine.”
Deep grievances, however, cannot be resolved by just saying I'm sorry. The karma needs to be paid off gradually. My son rarely talked to me and did not tell me about school. I only learned about his status from the parents of other children. He didn't feel close to me and was unsociable. Seeing his unhappiness affected me deeply.
In the beginning, I complained to him for being aloof, and compared his faults with those of his father. I then looked within and realized that my past actions had caused him to distrust me. I had almost ruined his life!
Fortunately, we have Master’s Fa. We both learned from the teachings, and our relationship began to change. He became more open, sociable, optimistic, and smiled more.
There were conflicts on and off caused by my many everyday person's attachments. When I pointed out mistakes in his homework, he claimed that he was right. He was arrogant and disrespectful. When I became angry and could not control my temper, he was not moved. A fellow practitioner told me that he represented a mirror, showing me my own attachments.
Upon looking inward, I realized that I was arrogant, and thought that I was always in the right. I caused my son's behavior. Fortunately, Master treats me with compassion, despite my mistakes. Master never blamed me and only strengthens and encourages me. I needed to do the same for my son. I no longer chastised him, so he changed after some time.
Dafa opened my wisdom. I recalled what I had learned at school and even became able to help him solve problems. He later told me that his teacher taught my approach to his class, and said that my approach was simpler than his own. This incident improved our relationship.
My son had difficulty concentrating in school, refused to listen to his teachers, and made inexcusable mistakes. There were times when I could not hold my temper. After I looked within, I found I had the same problem. When I was studying the Fa, I could not concentrate. After I decided to memorize the Fa, I also noticed some improvement in my son.
Then, during the last winter break, he started to watch television and decided to indulge himself. He relaxed his Fa study and did not send forth righteous thoughts. My heart was heavy, and I wondered how to resolve the issue.
I then thought about how Master treats his practitioners. Master sees our good points and ignores our bad points. This told me that I should look at the good side of my son. He has Master to take care of him. He would be fine as long as my human heart and notions are not at play.
I encouraged my son to send forth righteous thoughts for nine days. Master opened his Third Eye and let him see a scene in another dimensions, which motivated him.
He was shown a precious vase. On the following day while sending righteous thoughts, Master gave him the precious vase and said that the vase could capture demons. But if he did not send righteous thoughts, the vase would break.
The vase became more powerful whenever he increased sending righteous thoughts. The images and patterns on the vase also changed.
The vase then broke because he did not send righteous thoughts for three days in a row. It was fine as long as he sent righteous thoughts. But the vase broke again when he missed sending righteous thoughts for a day.
In the middle of this process, he wanted to give up sending forth righteous thoughts. But Master strengthened his will, and I encouraged him with my righteous thoughts. So he eventually persevered.