(Minghui.org) Ms. Li Li was a native of Heilongjiang Province. She had a difficult life, losing her mother to an unknown illness in 1992 and her brother to a brain tumor in 1994. She married in 1981 and was a victim of domestic violence throughout most of her marriage. Her husband had extramarital affairs, eventually divorced her in 1996, and soon married the widow of her late brother.
Despite the hardships and heartbreaks, Ms. Li held herself to Falun Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and even her ex-husband protected her after the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began the persecution of Falun Dafa in 1999. A TV reporter, a friend of his, intended to interview him and have him blame Falun Dafa for breaking up his marriage to Ms. Li. He firmly turned down his friend's request for an interview. While Ms. Li was being detained for her faith, he kept her Falun Dafa books in a safe place. After she was released but forced to live away from home to avoid further arrests, he took good care of their son.
Ms. Li later died as a result of the persecution. This 10-part series was her own account of her story.
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Although I experienced misery and unhappiness, I remained cheerful, and was kind to those that mistreated me.
(Continued from Part 8)
Master Hints: Do Not Learn but Study the Fa
My cultivation felt as if was stuck in the valley, meaning that I allowed setbacks to become the focus of my life, until April 1995. At this time a fellow practitioner from Changchun brought me the Book Zhuan Falun. I needed a breakthrough, so I began reading the book attentively. I had many questions when I read it the first time. After reading it the second time, I felt my earlier questions were too naive. When reading Zhuan Falun the second time, I made notes about my cultivation practice. Master gave me a hint that making notes was an everyday person’s way of attaining knowledge, and cultivators should not study the Fa that way. So I stopped doing so. Later Master published the article of “Learning the Fa”, which talked about the problems intellectuals had when studying the Fa.
Studying Zhuan Falun helped me understand a great deal, and I felt that my poor cultivation state was caused by insufficient Fa study. After sorting out my problems over a few months, I realized that I had many attachments, and I was determined to get rid of them. I quickly adjusted with the help of a veteran fellow practitioner who lived across the street from me. We studied the Fa together, did the exercises, and shared cultivation experiences. We also cooperated in doing Dafa work.
Facing Divorce Calmly
Lu and the woman were still seeing each other. Lu often mentioned divorce, and after he saw that my cultivation state had returned to normal, he mentioned divorce even more often. This problem was particularly difficult for me. I was already a veteran Dafa practitioner. If I had been practicing for so long and still got divorced, what would people think of me? People would ask: Did you get divorced because of practicing Falun Gong? Practitioners also would think: Falun Gong practitioners are getting better and better, and their families should be more and more harmonious. So how come they are still getting divorced? I couldn’t stand the thought of damaging the Fa, and I shed a lot of tears over this, so I never agreed to his divorce request. I thought, “Go ahead and keep this wish in your mind, I can survive this kind of hardship.”
Dealing With the Other Woman as a Practitioner
Because I was a practitioner, I knew I must do well. I wanted to stop him from claiming that I was not good. I took care of all the household chores. When his friends came to my house, I would cook like a chef in a restaurant, and cooked 8 to 10 dishes. Besides, I was quiet when he lost his temper, and when he hurled insults at me, I remained very calm. I held no resentment or hatred in my heart. Once he cursed at me, and I somehow could not hold back a laugh. When he saw me smiling, he was even more furious and yelled even louder. I didn’t do it on purpose. However, I knew better not to do it again, otherwise, he would think I deliberately tried to make him annoyed and angry. Actually, I was not really angry. One day he told me that the woman said that she would come in a few days. He asked me to behave myself. I just thought no matter what happens just let it happen.
Several days later, that woman came. She brought two girls with her, her daughter, and her niece. She told us that she came to Beijing for sightseeing. But, I was well aware that she came to see Lu. They walked together in front of me, talking amiably, and I followed behind them. It appeared they were the couple and I was the nanny. What a reversed role!
I received them warmly at home and cooked them many delicious dishes. When she caught a cold, I brought a glass of water and medicine to her, and I treated her like an old friend. I behaved as if their affair was none of my business. Facing such a difficult situation, all that came to my mind was the Fa – I was a Falun Dafa practitioner, and there was nothing I could not overcome. Others view this type of things as very important, I looked at it differently, I even felt pity for them.
My kindness and gentle demeanor surprised this woman. She asked Lu, “Does Li Li know anything about us?” “She knows everything,” Lu replied. “Really? How come she still treats us so well?” The woman said.
She was touched by my attitude, and her conscience got the better of her. She did not want to stay any longer and decided to leave. After I saw them off, I went back to my room and sat down. Sitting on the couch, I felt my body growing bigger and taller, and I had a sense of holiness that I had never felt before. The state I was in was indescribable – I did what the Fa required in this matter, and finally completely overcame another major demon of sentimentality that was controlling me.
Tribulation Taught Many Fa Truths
This tribulation taught me so much that dealt with cultivation – whether one could reach the standard of forbearance, letting go of jealousy and sentimentality, whether one could use kindness to handle people and situations. It tested me on every aspect of xinxing, and whether I could truly elevate on the basis of the Fa.
Lu was particularly pleased with my performance this time, and saw that I was not faking it. He praised me and said, “You have done very well in Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.” I knew this was Master encouraging me through someone else's mouth, and giving me recognition for passing this hurdle well. The woman wrote to Lu shortly after she returned home, saying, “Don't divorce Li Li. She is a good person. You will regret it after you divorce her.” She also said that she would never intervene in our lives from that point on.
Demanding Agreement to Divorce Proceedings
Lu continued to talk about divorce. It was so often that I no longer paid attention to him, and acted as if it was none of my business. But this time, it was unusual, he had a new idea and calmly laid it out to me:
“I have been thinking about divorcing you, and came up with the way I will handle it. I still want to be near you. And of course, I still have to remarry. I need to find someone who can accept our relationship. Can you guess who that would be?”
“I do not know. If you truly want to divorce me, be assured that I do not want to associate with you afterward,” I said.
“Oh, no, you still have to associate with me whether you like it or not. I want to marry your sister-in-law,” he said.
“How can I discuss your future event? Besides, this idea of yours is too absurd and unconventional. No, you can not do that.”
Lu was a man who once he decided to do something, he would do so. He did not care what I thought about his idea.
He invited my sister-in-law and my niece to spend the New Year holiday with us in 1995. He carried out his plan right after the holiday. I did not have any emotional reaction whether he divorced me or not after so many years of tormenting me. I discovered that my attachment to sentimentality was gone. The formality of divorce was meaningless. Whatever happened, nothing could affect me anymore.
After Lu worked in the college for a while, he found it boring. He taught a few classes and was filled with energy. He began to work on getting a transfer. He wanted to move to the University of Political Science and Law. He made all the connections, including transferring me there as well. The university disagreed with his idea, but he did not give up and persuaded them to agree to his plan, but they only agreed reluctantly. The University of Political Science and Law agreed to take both of us. That’s when the entire university where we were employed found out that both of us would transfer.
The divorce was still going forward. Lu repeatedly told me, “After the divorce I want public opinion at the college to focus on you, so that they all accuse you.” He wanted me to be prepared. I did not pay any attention to his words anymore, but Master hinted that I would face more tests in the future.
Sure enough, in early April 1996, Lu's college classmate at Wuhan University came to Beijing. She was a lawyer specializing in divorce cases. Lu met her and talked about our marital problems. He entrusted her to help us with the divorce. She agreed and came to our home the next day. Her intent was to help us with the divorce proceedings.
Lu had already told her the reason for our divorce was because of my practice of Falun Gong. After she arrived at my apartment the next morning, Lu went out to do something. I thought that since he had arranged everything, I would just go along – why should I hold on to him? But I realized a serious problem: I disagreed that the reason for divorcing was due to Falun Gong. This was not true, and I could not allow him to just lead me around.
I took advantage of the fact that Lu was not at home and talked with the lawyer all day. The reason for our breakup began a long time ago. It was mainly caused by the incompatibility of personal interests, hobbies, temperament, and disposition. It had nothing to do with Falun Gong. If there was any connection, it was because by practicing Falun Gong I had kept the family together for such a long time. The only time I ever filed for divorce was in 1991, before I practiced Falun Gong, but we could not work it out. After she heard me out, she thought it made sense. She listened to my advice and wrote the proceedings from scratch, as I had asked. My son Lu Lu would live with me after the divorce and the child agreed.
After Lu returned, everything was done, and he did not say anything. The lawyer had to return to Wuhan. She wondered why she had come to Beijing. Somehow in her mind she came to finish our divorce papers.
Lu and I were preparing to go for an agreed divorce during the next two days. My sister-in-law also came. Lu asked: “I will give you one last chance, do you want this home or Falun Gong?”
“I want both,” I said.
“Alright then, you need to kill a fish for me.” I responded, “You know that I won't take a life. Tell me what I did not do well. I can change,” I said. He said, “No, you can only choose one thing, this home or Falun Gong,” he insisted. “Since you only gave two options, I will choose Falun Gong,” I replied.
On my way to the courthouse, I had a strange feeling: Life is so unpredictable, one may never know what one may encounter next. My sister-in-law went to the court with us that day. We were asked a few questions, and then it was over. Our marriage was over.
After we left the court, Lu, as if he was still not aware that we were divorced, said he wanted me to go home with him. Home? Where was it? How could he still order me around? I told myself: I am divorced, I will make my own decision from now on. I called a taxi and went straight to the college where I taught.
(To be continued)
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