(Minghui.org) I have been thinking lately that it is time to cultivate my speech. Every time I open my mouth, there is quarrel and argument, resulting in negative effects amongst practitioners.

I tend to talk about a particular practitioner after I have formed a certain thought about him or her, even though it was not the true reflection of the person. This was to expose my ordinary way of thinking, and to see if I was moved by what I saw.

During Milarepa’s Buddha cultivation, his master repeatedly asked him to carry boulders up the mountain to build a house. Once it was built, he was asked to demolish it and rebuild it. Amid the unbearable hardship, he thought it was due to his bad karma. He never looked outward for other reasons, or thought his master was being unreasonable.

Now I think that all my tribulations, including the ones involving my family, were manifestations of my shortcomings and karma, which brought them pain and anger. And I could see their feelings when they tried to cover them up.

But I never asked myself to truly follow a higher standard. Instead, I would look at the problem based on the human standard of right and wrong. It’s no wonder I could not raise my cultivation level. The hardships were there so that I could repay my debt. They were there to temper me so that I could break out of the human notion and ways of thinking. Yet I kept persisting in going about things the wrong way for a long time!

Why couldn’t I be compassionate, forgiving, and look at practitioners’ shortcomings in a lighthearted way? Why couldn’t I appreciate and treasure others’ Buddha nature?

In the past, I was not forgiving to my relatives, who were also Falun Dafa practitioners, when they had misunderstandings about me. When I saw them having conflicts with each other, I failed to communicate with humility, patience, kindness, and sincerity, so that they could eliminate the gap between them and avoid the old forces’ interference. Their shortcomings were merely reflections of the human side that weren’t yet cultivated. So why couldn’t I be more compassionate? Why was I focusing on their flaws and looking down on them?

I am a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, gave us mighty virtue that have surpassed previous saviors. What kind of requirements am I setting for myself?

I have been foolish and made Master worry. I’d like to ask Master for help, and I will demand myself to do better. Thank you Compassionate Master!

Editor's note: Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions, for which the author is solely responsible. Readers should evaluate the article's merits on their own.