(Minghui.org) After two hours of conversation with a fellow practitioner yesterday, I found a problem in myself, that is, I don't accept criticism. When others pointed out my problems, I usually chose not to argue. But I would remember that person and put up my guard the next time I met them, and would think: “She/he will not accept my idea. In the bottom of my heart, I am right, they are wrong. They need to change, not me.”
Moreover, I am very focused on protecting my pride and try hard to show off my good side.
When writing sharing articles, I focus on problems that happened to others. In my mind, my article should help other practitioners, but the results are usually not good. On the surface, I am calm and rational, but all kinds of notions and attachments are hiding inside. My compassionate heart is getting smaller and smaller.
Some practitioners told me that I am too aggressive. Some said that I should have learned from my husband, who is very caring and thinks of others first. He does everything he can to help others. I have been a cultivating Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance for many years, but I couldn't reach his standard, why?
If I consider myself the most important, how could I think of others? How could I share my true thoughts with others? If I do not change my mindset, how could I help other practitioners to improve as a group? Why can't I open up and share my real thoughts with fellow practitioners?
I am afraid of criticism; I fear losing face; I fear being targeted. It all boils down to my stubborn human heart.
I've now decided to expose my deepest attachments, one-by-one. Hiding them could only delay my improvement. We should step out from ordinary human thoughts, eliminate barriers, and help each other. That is what Master wants.
In closing, I would like to share Master’s poem:
“Who Dares Renounce Human Attachments?
While the ordinary man might long for Immortaldom,Behind the unbelievable wonders lies wrenching sorrow;It takes cultivating the mind, severing desires, casting off attachments,Lest man be lost in his ordeals and gripped with deep regret.”(Hong Yin, Translation Version A)
Please point out anything that is inappropriate.
(Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare with one another in study, in cultivation.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
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Category: Improving Oneself
