(Minghui.org) I am 43 this year and have practiced Falun Dafa for 24 years. As a relatively young practitioner, I’m constantly comparing myself against older practitioners who are diligent in their cultivation.
Below are a few attachments that I’ve personally struggled with, that I also see in other younger practitioners. I’m writing them out now in the hope that they can be of help to others.
Too Lazy for Morning Exercises
Many older practitioners persist in doing the exercises at 3:20 a.m. every day, even during the Chinese New Year.
However, it has always been difficult for me to wake up at 3 a.m. I do the exercises later in the morning or at night. Sometimes, I wouldn't do the exercises for several days. This was a result of many attachments, especially laziness, fear of hardship, and the pursuit of comfort.
The old forces know that young people love to sleep and cannot endure hardship, so they use factors within the three realms—namely, sleepiness, laziness, and fatigue—to lead me to turn off my alarm and continue sleeping.
As time passed, I slacked off more and more in doing the exercises. I came to realize that it’s important to reject certain thoughts, such as “I can’t wake up” or “I don’t want to wake up early.” Avoiding hardship is not part of my true self.
My true self is not afraid of hardship in cultivation. My true self faces hardship head-on and understands that the challenges we face in cultivation are not the same as those we face in the human world, like getting up on time.
Truly cultivating Dafa disciples taste only the joy and sweetness that comes with the cultivation process, and will not find bitterness in these mundane difficulties. So the thought of not wanting to get up early is not part of our true selves. It's just another trick by the old forces who want to keep us from advancing in cultivation.
If we’re not able to identify this, we won’t be able to break through our laziness. And if this laziness keeps us from doing the exercises, we won’t be able to cultivate both our mind and body, and so our bodies won’t be able to transform into high-energy matter. In that case, how could we consummate?
After I realized this, I set my alarm clock to 3:20 a.m. When the alarm rang the next day, I was instantly awake and did not feel sleepy. Neither did I feel excited—instead, I felt very calm.
That day, I did the five sets of exercises and did not feel sleepy or drowsy. I wasn’t tired from doing the second standing exercise for one hour, either. To this day, I have persisted in doing the full set of exercises every morning.
The Attachment to Lust
My attachment to lust manifests in my love for buying clothes, wanting to lose weight, and a fascination with staying in shape so that I would look good in my clothes.
Past the surface, there is also another aspect where it manifests very strongly: thought karma. Images of men and women in love, whispering sweet nothings to each other, would always appear in my mind. I would try to reject these thoughts, but to no avail.
I realized one day that this is another trap by the old forces and decided that I do not want it anymore. When I sent forth righteous thoughts that day, I saw a large, terrifying demon in front of me. It opened its jaws at me, as if it wanted to eat me.
I closed my eyes in fright while I continued to send forth righteous thoughts. The demon became weaker and weaker until it finally disappeared. I believe that this was the demon of lust that had existed in my dimension. Because I hadn’t paid attention to it before, I had allowed it to grow to such an enormous size.
Now, although I would still have improper thoughts occasionally, they have become weaker. I quickly identify and eliminate them.
The attachment to lust is a sword that the old forces use to destroy people. It infuses sex into every aspect of society in an attempt to destroy humanity—and Dafa disciples. There are already too many lessons to be taken from those who have fallen.
Young practitioners must take this issue very seriously. An attachment to lust is like an addiction to a drug. We should stay away from anything that can stimulate this attachment, as well as reject and eliminate any impure thoughts when they appear. As long as we can keep this up, the old forces will not succeed in taking us down.
Communist Party Culture: A Dangerous Pollutant
Most young Dafa disciples have been indoctrinated with Party culture at school. I used to think that I no longer had any Party culture. However, this was simply because I was so used to Party culture that I couldn’t notice it when it showed up.
My nephew is in grade six. He lives at my home, together with my mother. Whenever he would make a mistake at school, I scolded him instead of teaching him with kindness and patience.
Without giving him any chance to explain, I’d tear into him with a domineering attitude. I spoke harshly and raised my voice. The more I said, the angrier I became. If I would have looked at myself in the mirror at that moment, I’m sure I would have looked like a monster.
Every time I would go off, I regretted it deeply. When I looked within, I found that I have resentment in my heart, I looked down on people, and I was unkind and impatient. But even knowing this, I still would not be able to hold back when my nephew made mistakes.
Initially, I thought that I had such a strong reaction to this because I was a teacher. Later, I realized that this was a misconception. The overreaction was actually caused by the “philosophy of struggle” from Party culture that has been ingrained in my mind, which caused me to repeatedly trip over myself on this issue.
Master said,
“This is because the bad things are really done by the old forces using the evil beings and manipulating people’s karma and notions.” (Teachings From a Tour of North America)
The old forces used the Communist Party to inject Party culture into the minds of millions. When people’s minds are filled with the Party’s philosophy of struggle, their only tools to resolve conflict are fighting, revenge, criticism, complaining about others, and pushing away responsibility. Master said,
“When we get into a disagreement we should first of all stay calm and not act like others.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
This is the proper state that a person should be in when encountering conflicts. If we treat this unkind and intolerant behavior as ourselves, it is very difficult to remove this Party culture from its root.
There is another aspect of Party culture that is a little harder to detect—I only realized it recently in myself. I always walk very fast, and do things quickly. When people mentioned this, I thought that this was one of my strengths. I only started to think there might be something wrong after a practitioner said that I should “be more steady.”
An elderly practitioner in my Fa-study group is always very quiet. He always speaks in a slow, soft voice. He is also patient and gentle when caring for his sick wife. During Fa-study, when everyone would become excited and speak loudly while sharing, he would not say much. When he did, it was in a quiet, mellow voice. In fact, I’ve never heard him raise his voice before, nor seen him get excited or anxious.
I initially thought that this was just his personality. Later, I realized that this peaceful state was a result of solid cultivation for many years. This is the state that a cultivator should have.
I realized that being anxious, angry, garrulous, loud, excited, argumentative, and loquacious when sharing experiences are all manifestations of Party culture. Party culture talks about being “ostentatious and dominant,” about “fighting heaven and earth,” and about “being a revolutionary,” which are the exact opposite of the requirements for cultivators.
When compared to older practitioners' peacefulness, compassion, and quietness, I was impetuous and flighty. Just how large is the gap between us? No wonder the other practitioners felt that I was callous and not steady.
How We Should Look at Gender Equality
Party culture also promotes gender equality.
I don’t know when I started to look down on my husband and resent him. He usually works out of town and doesn’t lift a finger when he returns home. So I had to handle all the chores. But instead of being considerate of me, he was often fussy instead—which made me angry. I thought that he had poor character.
Over the past few years, my husband would refuse to listen when I tried to clarify the truth to him. I was puzzled.
“I am so accommodating to you,” I thought, “but you still can’t recognize how good Dafa is and refuse to accept Dafa. You’re a lost cause!”
However, by studying the Fa and looking within, I realized that my personality was too domineering. Because I was both working a job and taking care of our child while still doing all the household chores, I ignored him and felt that I could do without him.
Due to the economic downturn in the past few years, he had less work to do and stayed at home. Yet, he did not help out. I felt extremely upset, especially when he would criticize me. In return, I picked at his problems and found him unbearable.
But I found that I was actually measuring him based on how much he was earning, and judging him based on money and status. I couldn’t get past the feeling that things were unfair, and so my resentment surfaced. I became cold to him, instead of being gentle and considerate. I had no sympathy about his hard work and the difficulties he faced trying to make a living for us.
My husband liked to tell jokes. Due to my overbearing personality, he also became colder and colder towards me. We did not communicate. There was no warmth in the house. How could my husband possibly see the beauty of Dafa in such an environment? How would he accept Dafa? If he could not be saved because of my behavior, it would be a huge sin on my part.
Actually, my husband cares a lot about family. When he was away, he would call me and our child every night. He treated my parents well and gave them money and gifts every holiday. He never had any complaints about my nephew and instead raised him like our own under the same roof with us for over ten years.
I now understood why “gender equality” was toxic. Party culture talks about women “holding up half the sky: and doing everything men can do. As time passed, women became more independent and no longer relied on men. We were no longer tender and virtuous like we used to be in ancient times; instead, we became “tigresses,” leading to discord in the family and a high divorce rate.
I did not realize how much I hurt my husband while I was under the influence of Party culture.
Master said, “...Returning to tradition puts you on the path to Heaven...” (“Creating Anew,” Hong Yin V)
In divinely-imparted culture, gentleness, kindness, tolerance, patience, hard work, respect, and support for the husband are the traits that make up a good wife. Master has mentioned this many times in the Fa.
I recently understood the above after improving my state while studying the Fa. In addition, I feel that we should all read Disintegrating the Culture of the Chinese Communist Party and Talks on Party Culture to fully eliminate Party culture within ourselves.
If there is anything inappropriate in the sharing above, please kindly point it out!
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
