(Minghui.org) Although I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for almost 10 years, I’ve only realized this past year how solemn cultivation is. After going through two major xinxing tests in the form of severe sickness karma, I learned the importance of cultivating one’s heart. When I read the Fa with a calm heart, many of my hidden notions and attachments were revealed to me. I regret not cultivating myself solidly in the past and letting Master down.
Falun Dafa Must Be Good
Before I began to practice Falun Dafa in 2013, I visited a temple hoping to find a Buddha to be my Master and guide me in my cultivation. So many different Buddhas were worshiped, which one should I choose? I was confused and ended up not choosing any of them.
While working at my son’s auto shop, some police officers came in to get their police vehicles fixed. One of them said abruptly, “Please hurry! We are on our way to make an arrest.”
“Who are you after?” I asked curiously. One of them told me it was a Falun Gong practitioner. I asked him, “What did Falun Gong do? Did they steal? Rob someone? Or did they commit a murder or arson?”
The officer looked at me, and replied, “None of those.”
I was stunned, “None? Really? Aren’t you afraid of bringing retribution on yourselves because you arrest innocent people? Higher level beings watch everything we do.”
He asked, “Are you Falun Gong?” I shook my head. He gave me a menacing look and said, “If you advocate for Falun Gong, I could arrest you too.”
I’ve been very outspoken my entire life and I’m never afraid of telling things as they are. I knew that Jiang Zemin, then head of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), launched the persecution against Falun Gong. I also knew that Jiang sold out China and was corrupt to the core. Everybody around me knew how rotten Jiang was. If Jiang is against Falun Gong, then Falun Gong must be good. I wondered what Falun Gong truly is all about.
I had two vivid dreams that night. In the first one, there were four red fire-spiting dragons in the sky. They each occupied one of the four directions—north, south, east and west—and simultaneously spit fire toward the center. In the second dream, there was a big void in the thick dark clouds. When I looked directly into it, I saw clear blue skies. A peach tree was growing on the thick clouds with big red peaches hanging off the branches.
I was baffled by these dreams and didn’t know what to think of them. I consulted my neighbor who is a steadfast Falun Gong practitioner, despite having been imprisoned for her faith. She smiled and said, “I think you must have escaped.” I didn’t know it was my time and destiny to start practicing Falun Gong.
I Decide to Practice
I asked my neighbor what Falun Gong really is. She explained simply, “Falun Gong is a spiritual practice of the mind and body. It also does wonders for healing and fitness.”
I told my husband when I got home, “I heard that Falun Gong does wonders for resolving illnesses and keeping fit. I have so many health issues but we can’t afford the medical expense. How about I give Falun Gong a try?” My husband thought it was a great idea.
I went back to my neighbor, told her that I want to practice Falun Gong, and asked, “What time do you usual do the exercises?” She told me she started at 3:50 a.m. “Can I come over and do the exercises with you?” She agreed.
I knocked on her door at 3:30 a.m. the next morning and did the exercises for the first time. The following day, the gate to her apartment building was locked and I couldn’t join her. When I asked her about it later, she gave me her phone number and told me to call her if the gate was locked. Her daughter changed her phone number the next day. When I asked why her phone number didn’t work, she gave me the key to her building.
For the next few months, I joined my neighbor in doing the morning exercises. A huge snow storm left the roads buried one night. My neighbor didn’t expect me to make it, and was surprised when I showed up.
I finally got a copy of Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa. I never attended school and didn’t know how to read. I asked Master for help, “Master, I don’t know how to read. Please help me. I want to read so I can study the Fa.”
I joined my neighbor at Fa study. While she read aloud, I looked at the Chinese characters. When I babysat my granddaughter, I tried to read the book on my own. If I came across a character that I didn’t know, I wrote it down so I could ask my son or daughter later.
It took me four months to read Zhuan Falun from cover to cover. By the time I finished reading it for the second time, I had learned most of the characters. I wept every time I read because I felt Master was speaking directly to me. My granddaughter asked, “Grandma, why are you crying?” I couldn’t explain why.
My neighbor gave me a few other Dafa books which contained Master’s newer lectures. At first, I didn’t want to keep them because there were many additional characters that I didn’t know. Then I thought, “Why not learn them?” Now I know a lot Chinese characters and I’m able to read most of the Dafa books.
Master repeatedly purified my body and cleansed my mind. I gradually recovered from my illnesses, such as high blood pressure and heart problems.
“Grandma, there is a big circle of light around your head.”
Many practitioners filed criminal complaints against Jiang Zemin in early 2015 for the crimes he committed against Falun Gong. How wonderful it would be if Jiang hadn’t launched the persecution and everybody practiced Falun Gong? Local practitioners sent in criminal complaints against Jiang, and I wanted to be part of it, but I didn’t know how to write.
I asked my daughter, but she wouldn’t help me. I wept and told her, “I raised you, took care of you, and never asked for any favors. Can’t you help me with just this one thing, please?” She finally agreed.
After we finished drafting the complaint, my six-year-old granddaughter pointed at me, and said, “Grandma, there is a big circle of light around your head.” I knew it was Master encouraging me for doing the right thing.
The tracking information showed my criminal complaint was received by both the Supreme Procuratorate and Supreme Court. However, we later found out that all complaints from our area were sent back to the local police station. One by one, the police tracked down each practitioner who filed a complaint. They harassed and threatened them. Some were arrested.
I received a phone call from a police officer. Before he started talking, I said, “I am a good person. Before the expropriation of land by the central government, our family had a big orchard with a few thousand fruit trees. Someone burned our orchard before the harvest season. We filed a case with the local police department but it remains unsolved. After much contemplation, I decided to let it go. Whoever did this would have to pay hundreds of thousands of yuan to compensate us—who could afford that kind of money? But, because I cultivate Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I was able to let it go. Do you think you’d be able to do that if it happened to you?”
The officer replied, “Never mind, Ma’am,” and hung up. I didn’t receive any calls about my complaint against Jiang after that.
Clarifying the Truth
Together with local practitioners, we make truth-clarification phone calls and talk to people about Dafa in person. I am not afraid, as I want to help people learn the truth about Dafa and the unjust persecution.
One time, a couple was walking slowly in front of me. I caught up with them and struck up a conversation. When the man told me that he was a retired police officer, I said, “If you quit the CCP and its youth organizations, you’ll be safe.” He ignored me and they quickened their pace. Eager to save them, I raised my voice, “Please come back.” Surprisingly, the man turned around and walked back. I said, “If you don’t separate yourself from the Party, you may be implicated when the CCP is held accountable for it’s crimes. Why not use a nickname and quit the Party?”
He nodded and replied, “Okay.”
Whenever I meet a police officer, I try to start a conversation and clarify the truth if I can. Some are more receptive than others, but I just try my best to help Master save people.
Master Helped Me Through Sickness Karma
In March 2022, I experienced symptoms of a heart attack and collapsed. I asked a passerby to get a taxi for me and managed to get home.
My husband and son wanted to take me to the hospital and get checked. I didn’t think it was necessary, but my son begged me. The last thing I wanted was for my family to misunderstand Dafa, so I agreed. I was hospitalized for two weeks, but didn’t fully recover until I resumed Fa study and did the exercises after returning home.
I had another episode earlier this year, where it felt as if I was having a heart attack. One side of my body became stiff and my movements were clumsy. My husband called my son and they made me go to the hospital again. I was treated for almost two weeks and it was the same story—I didn’t fully recover until I returned home and resumed reading the Fa and doing the exercises.
When I obtained the Fa 10 years ago, Master purified my body. Why did I have symptoms of a heart attack twice in such a short space of time? I studied the Fa with a clear and calm mind.
Master showed me my shortcomings.
“Cultivation itself is not difficult, and neither is raising one’s level itself difficult. It is because they cannot give up human desires that they call it difficult. This is because it is very difficult to relinquish something in the face of practical gain. The benefits are right here, so how can you abandon these attachments? It is actually because of this that one will find it difficult. When an interpersonal conflict occurs, if you cannot contain yourself or cannot even regard yourself as a practitioner in dealing with it, I would say that is unacceptable.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
When I read Master’s words it felt like a lighting bolt went through my body, “Isn’t Master talking about me?” I harbored deep resentment toward my husband’s younger brother. My in-laws’ land, along with a piece of my family’s land, were expropriated a few years back by the CCP for a construction project. The old couple received a large sum of money, which included compensation for our land, but we never received it. After the couple passed away, my husband’s younger brother cooked up a plan to inherent all the money, but of course all the other siblings were against it. We took the case to court and I was actively involved.
I never liked my husband’s younger brother. A few years ago, he badmouthed me in front of my husband after they had a few drinks. When my husband argued in my defense, he hit my husband on the head with a beer bottle. Blood gushed out of a deep cut and my husband passed out. He was rushed to the hospital, and needed over 20 stitches. During the hospitalization and recovery at home, my brother-in-law never came to visit. This incident planted deep resentment in my heart towards him.
This time, my brother-in-law wanted to inherit all the money from my in-laws and our land. I was determined to win the case and show him who was boss. My competitiveness surged. Although we won the case, my brother-in-law used his connections and received tens of thousands of yuan. I was angry. My behavior didn’t measure up to Dafa’s standards.
Examining myself further, I found attachments to jealousy, self-interest, and intolerance for injustice. I’ve cultivated for a decade yet I still have so many attachments—I’ve truly let Master down, and regret it very much.
Now I’m clear on what I should do. I repeatedly say, “Master, I realize I’ve done wrong in the past. I don’t want any human notions and attachments. I just want to cultivate myself well, save more people, and go home with you.”
I told myself in my mind that I will continue to look inward and find all of my human notions and attachments. One by one, I will get rid of them and will not hold on to such bad substances.
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