(Minghui.org) My father-in-law has been living with us for over ten years due to his poor health. During the past decade, I took the challenges with caring for him as opportunities to improve myself according to the principles of Falun Dafa.
When my father-in-law moved in, he behaved as though he owned the house and set up rules for us to follow. He often picked on us. He didn’t like our bowls and insisted that we buy him one that he liked. When my husband turned off the electric blanket for his safety (due to reports of some electric blankets catching fire), he claimed that we only cared about saving on our electric bill. We bought a new bed for him and he questioned its quality and durability.
When my husband lost his patience with him, I reminded myself that I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, and whatever happens is an opportunity to improve myself.
Master said,
“...you should always maintain a compassionate heart and a calm mind. If you suddenly bump into a problem, you will be able to take care of it properly. If you always maintain a heart of benevolence and compassion, when a problem arises suddenly, you will have a buffer and room to think.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
However, after I retired in 2017, the situation became worse. I spent more time at home with my father-in-law, presenting more tests for me.
He often soiled the toilet bowl, and spit food on the table and even on the walls. Considering his age, I tolerated his behavior and cleaned up after him. However, there was one thing I couldn’t tolerate, as he always spit in the sink without cleaning it up afterwards. I said to him nicely, “Will you please spit in a tissue and then throw it in the garbage can, or flush your spit in the sink?” He agreed but kept on doing the same thing. Two months later, I reminded him again. He said fine, but still didn’t change. Another two months later when I tried to remind him again, he was outraged. I couldn't understand why he became angry. I didn’t say anything, but I couldn’t let it go.
I tried to look within: I am a practitioner and I should treat all people well; do I not like him? This question bothered me for years.
One day I went back to my mother’s house and talked to a fellow practitioner there. She asked me, “If your mother did the same thing as your father-in-law, would it bother you as much?” I said no.
Actually my mother has been incontinent for years, and I never mind caring for her. The fellow practitioner said, “See, this is the problem, you never took your father-in-law as your own parent.” I couldn’t agree more. Because I didn’t treat him the same as my biological father, I blamed him and looked down on him in my heart. I realized that I was selfish. How can I improve if I didn’t eliminate that? If my father-in-law was a test to help me eliminate my selfishness on my path of cultivation, how should I behave?
With this realization, I was suddenly relaxed and refreshed.
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Category: Improving Oneself
