(Minghui.org) I’m an elderly Falun Dafa practitioner and I don’t have much contact with other practitioners. Master’s protection and practitioners’ sharing articles on Minghui.org have supported me throughout my 26 years of cultivation.
Even though I’ve been doing the three things every day, I feel that I haven’t improved much and I’ve lingered at the same level. I must examine my cultivation seriously and not treat it like routinely completing tasks.
Master said,
“There is also a certain segment of practitioners, among whom are veterans to the practice, who are regularly involved in Dafa work and who have continued to study the Fa, but who aren’t able to overcome certain blocks at critical moments.” (“Wake Up”)
I practiced for more than two decades, but I never examined why I failed certain tests during critical moments. It wasn’t until I read another practitioner’s article that I had a profound insight. The fundamental reason lies in my lack of faith in Master and Dafa, a realization that took me more than twenty years of cultivation to understand.
I read the Fa every day, but how well I apply the Fa principles in my cultivation reflects the depth of my understanding. I realize that merely knowing the content of the Fa without aligning to the Fa in my actions is not truly obtaining the Fa.
By looking within, I also recognized some of my long held notions and I’m determined to get rid of them.
Because I grew up in a poor family, I enjoy collecting discarded items or getting things for free. This habit is difficult to break, even after more than twenty years of cultivation. I collect leftovers from the nearby restaurant to feed my chickens and I salvage items from garbage cans. Sometimes I can’t even resist picking discarded plastic bottles out of the trash, thinking I can use them for something.
While writing about this, I realized that I still had a deep attachment to reputation and saving face. I worried whether other practitioners would ridicule me for this attachment to petty interest. But I’m aware that exposing this attachment a way to eliminate it and is part of cultivation.
In my efforts to clarify the facts about Dafa to people, I have struggled to overcome my fear. When individuals rebuked me or threatened to call the police, I just quickly left. When I got home, I only superficially recognized it as an attachment to fear.
While doing grocery shopping one day earlier this year, I tried to clarify the facts to a man. He said, “Do you know what my job is?” I replied, “I don’t care what you do, but you need to know this.” He asked,“Where are you from?” “I’m local.” He kept asking, “Which village are you from?” “I’m from here,” I said.
Instead of asking me more questions, he took out his phone to take a photo of me. I was frightened and immediately left. After I got home, I didn’t tell my family what happened, but I kept sending righteous thoughts. When I read the Fa later that day, I looked within and realized that when people refused to listen to me or threatened to report me, instead of taking it as an opportunity to improve myself and thoroughly clarify the facts to them, I felt these encounters were tribulations. The root of my fear was my desire to protect myself. I didn’t have enough courage or compassion for people who needed to hear the facts from me.
Cultivation is a serious matter, and merely completing tasks does not equate to true cultivation. When I looked inward I saw my selfishness, ego, fear and failure to put saving sentient beings as my top priority. Moving forward, I will treat everything in my cultivation as a great opportunity to improve myself and save more people.