(Minghui.org) I was arrested on September 5, 2005, and sentenced to three and a half years in prison for my belief in Falun Dafa. After being released in April 2009, I learned that my wife and 10-year-old son had been missing for years. I was also fired from my workplace. I lost everything!
Overcoming My Attachment to Lust
I later worked in a hospital, and my friends and colleagues wanted to find a mate for me. I was introduced to many women. Some were divorced, some unmarried, and one was the daughter of a Dafa practitioner. I declined them all.
I couldn’t even support myself, so how could I take on the responsibility of supporting a new family? And I was already married and had a son. How could I get married again? I have practiced Falun Dafa since March 1995, and the Fa principles have strict requirements in this regard. I could not violate Master Li’s teachings and do things that would cost me virtue.
I had the desire of lust, and this made me encounter this problem. I looked inside and found my attachment of wanting to have a complete family with a beautiful wife and lovely children. Looking deeper, I found that I was afraid of loneliness, and yearning for a happy life. These were precisely the attachments that needed to be eliminated. As I calmed down, fewer people introduced women to me, and eventually no one mentioned it any longer.
When I was on duty, a young woman came to give me a red envelope, saying that it was a New Year greeting and a thank you. She was a previous patient who was very pretty. I declined her offer and told her why I couldn’t accept it. She did not insist, and invited me to dinner instead. But I still declined. After returning home from work, someone knocked on my door. I opened it and saw her standing there. She came empty-handed, so I let her in.
She helped mop the floor, tidy up the room, and found a carpenter to fix my cabinet door. I was grateful and had a good impression of her, but I was apprehensive. This was not a coincidence.
I thought to myself: “I’m a man at home alone, and a woman is helping to clean up my place, which is exactly what I need. But others would think she is my wife. How disgraceful is this?” Wasn’t this my lust at work? I had good feelings about her. But lust is exactly what Master wanted me to eliminate. I then sent forth righteous thoughts to get rid of these dirty thoughts and purify myself. At the same time, I started avoiding her. With my heart solid and my behavior upright, she disappeared from sight and didn’t return.
I was tested like this many times, but by following Dafa’s principles and maintaining my xinxing, I passed one test after another. After getting off work, I studied the Fa, did the exercises, sent forth righteous thoughts, and went out to tell people the truth about the persecution. My life was fulfilling and meaningful. This went on for over three years, until I learned of news about my wife and son.
My Wife and Son Come Back
In February 2013, I found out my wife and son were in Beijing, and that my wife was mentally ill. A friend had taken the initiative to take care of them for several years.
I wanted to go there to pick them up, but because my ID card had been tampered with by the authorities, I couldn’t take the train, and a taxi to Beijing was too expensive. I asked my parents for help, and they suggested that I ask my brothers and sister for help. So my two younger brothers and younger sister took the train to Beijing and found my wife and son.
My wife could not take the train due to her condition, and no taxi driver was willing to take her. My brother then called a friend to drive to Beijing to pick them up. My brother spent more than 10,000 yuan to bring my wife and son back. His friend drove directly to the local psychiatric hospital, where my wife diagnosed with schizophrenia and admitted. I had no choice but to leave her there for treatment and take my son home.
Facing an Ill Wife
I visited my wife every day. She was hostile toward me and often scolded and insulted me. I felt resentful and regretted bringing her back. When I went home to study the Fa, I knew that I should not resent her, but try to understand her. Her illness was caused by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution of me. I knew I should treat her kindly. No matter what she did, I couldn’t have any negative thoughts.
I continued visiting and bringing her fruit and pastries, as well as her favorite meals. Sometimes I was scolded, and this embarrassed me. My desire to seek our reunion was very strong. Every time I went to visit her with hope, I returned with disappointment and regretted going. When I studied the Fa, I realized that I was wrong and shouldn’t feel resentful. So I sent forth righteous thoughts to clear out these negative thoughts.
From time to time, someone would try to persuade me to divorce her, and my wife also kept saying that she wanted to divorce, but I disagreed. Gradually, I became more at peace and was no longer so easily influenced by my wife’s words and actions. She helped me improve my xinxing, and I was very grateful for this. Whenever I went to visit her and brought her food, I felt a caring attitude from the bottom of my heart. I hoped that she would recover soon and come back home.
The hospital sent a car to pick me up on April 13, 2020, saying that my wife’s condition had worsened. When I arrived, I was told that she was suffering from severe pulmonary tuberculosis and needed to be transferred to a tuberculosis hospital for treatment. I took her there, stayed with her, and cared for her wholeheartedly. She couldn’t eat by herself, so I fed her; she couldn’t use the toilet by herself, so I helped her. After taking good care of her, I took time to study the Fa, do the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, and clarify the truth to people. When the weather was good, I carried her outside to sit in the sunshine. She was discharged from the hospital after three months.
At home, she refused to take the medicine, and soon became ill again. I then took her back to the hospital. Every week I brought her food, but she still scolded me from time to time. However, I kept quiet and thought, “Why was she treating me like that? Could it be that I was not complying with Dafa’s principles?” So I looked inward and corrected my thoughts. My state of mind became more and more peaceful, and her condition improved.
When some colleagues at work have family conflicts, they now take me as a role model to follow, and their conflicts are resolved.
In traditional Chinese culture, the head of the household is the husband, who should be strong-willed and not fall when encountering difficulties. He supports the family and treats his wife kindly, while the wife takes care of her husband, educates the children, and is gentle and virtuous. Falun Dafa disciples have the mission of leaving a reference for the future!
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