(Minghui.org) My mother began to cultivate Falun Dafa a few years ago, but she quit practicing Dafa within less than a year. She felt something in her throat last year, and the doctor said it was lymphoma. My mother decided to forgo medical treatment and resume cultivation practice, but she didn’t make it and passed away this year.
My longing for her and my conflicts with my younger brother over the inheritance became my tests, and it took me a while to pass them. I stumbled and fell, but my heart brightened up after studying the Fa.
Mother’s Death Exposed My Attachment to Sentimentality
When my mother was going through sickness karma, she tried to do the Falun Dafa exercises and study Dafa books every day despite feeling weak and in pain. She had a dream one day: she looked young and was stepping onto a cloud, walking behind Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa.
My mother didn’t have much education and had little understanding of the Fa principles, therefore she didn’t know how to cultivate her xinxing and failed the test of sickness karma. She died on the fifth day of the Chinese New Year.
There was no mortuary in the village, so we set up a mourning hall at home. Her body was placed in the freezer in the afternoon, and her remains could be seen through the glass of the freezer.
My younger brother wiped off the moisture from the glass the next morning and noticed my mother’s pale face turned rosy and the lump on her neck shrunk. He was surprised and told the family to come and look.
As the days went by, her face was no longer swollen and became even rosier, and the lump on her neck was gone. Her face was beautiful as if she had a touch of eye shadow and lipstick, and she appeared to be sleeping peacefully. My family believed that what we saw indicated the power of Dafa and were amazed!
Master took care of my mother and kept her in a good place. Her body and face reflected divinity and beauty, and I was glad she returned to Dafa.
I was sad and wanted to have a good cry after my mother’s passing, but being a practitioner, I had to look at her death using Fa principles. Thus, I was able to suppress my sadness quickly.
I returned home and resumed a regular schedule after the funeral. I went back to work, studied the Fa, and did the exercises every day. But, I missed my mother all the time, and I recognized it was an attachment called sentimentality to family love.
Although I knew my real home and parents were in heaven, and my mother of this life might be watching me from above, so why couldn’t I enlighten to the Fa principles? I continued to ponder the principles, but my heart felt heavy and I just couldn’t get rid of the sorrow.
I watched the video of Master’s lecture in Guangzhou one day, and I realized the sad thoughts were interference by demons. They were manipulating my body and mind in another dimension, putting me in a state of longing and sadness, and trapping me in the illusion. Thus, I thought I was sad and couldn’t let go. The demons were dragging me down and preventing me from cultivating.
The demons almost fooled me, but Master woke me up, and my sorrow was gone.
Conflicts Over the Inheritance
I have two brothers and a sister and we each have our own family, therefore, my parents lived by themselves. My father is in his 80s and in poor health. He wanted to live with my younger brother after my mother’s passing.
We had a family discussion and decided to sell my mother’s stock holdings and give most of the proceeds to my younger brother so that he could take care of our father. My younger brother went ahead and started to look for a bigger place to accommodate my father. We all went home after the funeral since everyone had to go back to work. Conflicts arose the night of my mother’s burial.
My sister heard from a friend that it was better to divide all funeral-related money because it was bad luck for the person who took it all. Since everyone had to go home the next day, my sister divided the money and gave each sibling a portion of it the night of the funeral.
My younger brother was furious about it, and no one knew why.
I was upset when I saw his attitude, so I told his wife, “Taking care of the parents is every child’s obligation, even if the parents don’t own any assets. Your husband received the largest portion of our parents’ real estate, so he shouldn’t complain about a small amount of leftover money from the funeral. That’s being greedy. Please talk to him about it, and if he is not happy about it, then we’ll let our father live with our older brother.”
My younger brother talked to me the next morning and said he heard someone accusing him of taking the family’s assets, and he wanted the four of us to discuss how to take care of our father.
He said he wouldn’t look further if he couldn’t buy a house, and that we all had the responsibility to care for our father. I got even more upset and said that the family assets should be divided by four if that was the case. I wanted to remind him that since most of the family assets were given to him, then he should be responsible for our father.
My younger brother became angrier and more irrational. I knew anger wasn’t going to solve the problem, and I didn’t want to explain myself even if he misunderstood me. So I suggested that we calm down.
I asked why he was angry the night before. He said he thought all the money was going to him, including my mother’s savings account and the funeral insurance money, but the money was split four ways instead. After we all agreed on the terms and conditions, he agreed to buy a house and take care of our father.
My younger brother went back to work and got busy with the new house, so my sister stayed with our father until the end of the 100-day mourning period. Once the mourning period was over our father would move in with my younger brother.
While organizing my parents’ bankbook, my sister noticed our younger brother had already transferred a portion of the funds. I thought it was probably due to the karmic relationship between my younger brother and my parents. But my sister said our younger brother hadn’t called after he went home, even after they called and left messages for him.
I got upset again. My younger brother had been taking care of both parents all along, and I thought he was a good son. The reason why we agreed to let him have the money is so that he could buy property as soon as possible for our father. Why didn’t he contact us after finding a new place, and let us know when our father could move in?
Our mother used to care for our father. Due to health issues, it was difficult for him to go out to buy food. He was frugal and didn’t want to spend any money, so our mother did everything for him. She would not let him live alone, even if it was for a few days.
The 100-day mourning period was coming to an end, and we asked our younger brother when our father could move in. He didn’t give us an answer. My heart was moved, and I became aggravated and couldn’t calm down.
I Understood Why I Was Wrong After Studying the Fa
I was meditating one day, and the exercise music on my cell phone stopped in the middle of it. However, the time showed 0:00, so I had to play the music again from the beginning. I realized that it was telling me I had to practice and cultivate from the beginning. Yet it didn’t occur to me that it was a hint, since I didn’t think I was wrong about my brother. I didn’t take it seriously and was skirting around the test in front of me.
One day, I found the answer while studying the Fa. My cultivation was not up to “standard,” thus, I had to start from the beginning.
The conflicts with my brother exposed my attachments to self-interest, competitiveness, resentment, and anger, and I failed to cultivate my speech. So why couldn’t I pass the test knowing they were human attachments?
Master said,
“...He’s right,And I’m wrong ...” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” Hong Yin III)
I didn’t truly understand why “He’s right, and I’m wrong.” And I couldn’t figure out where I was wrong. Although I changed superficially, I didn’t change fundamentally. Therefore, I couldn’t pass the test.
After figuring out what my real problem was, I searched further and remembered that I was a life that was about to be eliminated. I was full of karma and Master scooped me up from hell. He purified me and taught me the road to divinity. Master exhausted everything he had, came to the lowest level to save all beings from destruction, and will send us to the wondrous new universe.
Master is saving us with the utmost compassion, and I was upset at my brother because of my attachments. I finally realized I was not abiding by the standard of the Fa.
I eventually understood the meaning of “He’s right, and I’m wrong.” Dafa practitioners’ relationship with sentient beings is that we are the ones helping Master save them, and they are the ones being saved by Master. Our relationship goes beyond regular people’s relationships.
Yet, I was using regular people’s principles to treat and judge my younger brother. I was wrong for not balancing the relationship between practitioners and non-practitioners. His role was to test me and help me improve my character and level. I was trapped inside human notions and behaved like a regular person. He was right and I was truly wrong!
How can I be a king or a lord when I can’t even tolerate an ordinary person? How can I include and support an infinite number of beings? I must remember that reaching this standard is not only for the completion of personal cultivation but for the salvation of sentient beings.
Master’s Fa untied the knot in my heart and guided me to pass the test. I was finally enlightened.
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Category: Improving Oneself
