(Minghui.org) Since practicing Falun Dafa in 1996, I’ve experienced ups and downs, struggling with resentment for my family, especially my husband.
I had a vivid dream in which I saw a ladder to heaven, shaped like a bow, leading straight to the top of the sky. I climbed step by step, but one step was missing in the middle of the staircase, and I couldn’t go any further. I heard someone saying, “This step must be filled by your husband.” Upon waking up, I realized that to return home with Master, I must eliminate my resentment for my husband.
Before I obtained the Fa, my relationship with my husband was tense, and we were on the verge of divorce. After I started practicing cultivation, there was much more understanding and harmony between the two of us.
Due to the positive changes in me, my husband supported my practice, but after July 20, 1999, when the Chinese Communist Party started the persecution, my husband changed drastically. He didn’t allow me to study the Fa or contact other practitioners. Whenever the police or neighborhood committee came to talk to me, he would react hysterically and verbally abuse me. He would act even more irrationally when we had guests.
During his tirades, I couldn’t say a word, or he would hit me. He once threw a glass bottle at me, but it shattered on the wooden table instead and shards of glass shot into the air. I was unharmed, thanks to Master’s protection. Although I said nothing at the time, I was deeply hurt and harbored resentment and dislike for him.
Another time, after a busy day with relatives, I went to the kitchen to read Zhuan Falun. My husband used vile language to scold me, drawing the attention of our guests. He then picked up a stool to hit me, but our guests intervened. The next day, he was still angry and argued with others over minor things, causing our guests to leave early. Such conflicts were frequent, and I won’t detail all of them here.
I gradually found myself not wanting to even look at him. His violent temper, fierce eyes, and foul mouth filled me with regret for not divorcing him earlier, which I considered my biggest mistake in life. I knew that as a cultivator, however, I couldn’t act on these thoughts and use my emotions to judge things. I resolved to follow Master and Dafa’s principles, no matter what the difficulties.
I dedicated myself to studying and memorizing the Fa, reading the sharing articles from other practitioners, and strictly following the principles of Dafa to improve my xinxing. I realized that the more complex my environment, the more beneficial it was for my cultivation; I had to meet Master’s requirements!
I gradually transformed my attitude towards my husband from disdain to one of care and concern. I took over all household chores, ensuring he would not overwork himself. I also used my own money for living expenses, not spending his retirement pension, despite initial feelings of unfairness. As I delved deeper into the Fa, my xinxing improved, and I stopped holding grudges and felt calm inside.
Over time, my husband changed too. He stopped scolding me and no longer opposed my going out or interacting with other practitioners. I established a Fa-study group at home without his objection, and he welcomed other practitioners with a smile. Last month, he offered me a thousand yuan to buy whatever I needed in life, something unimaginable before (as he never even give me 10 yuan) I felt a little complacent, thinking I had rooted out my resentment.
But while walking one day, I began recalling trivial grievances, the resentment surged up again, and I imagined confronting him when I got home. At that moment, I stumbled and fell heavily. I immediately realized my mistake and said, “Master, I was wrong, I shouldn’t resent him, and I must completely eliminate this resentment!” I got up unscathed, a clear sign of Master’s guidance and protection.
Under Master’s compassion, I’m determined to completely dismantle this resentment, keep up with the Fa-rectification process, and return home with Master. I’m deeply grateful for Master’s salvation.
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Category: Improving Oneself
