(Minghui.org) My son is 45 years old and unmarried. He’s been sick since childhood, has epilepsy, and a low IQ. This has always been a deep concern for me as a mother, and something I couldn’t let go of.
I’m 70 years old and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. I always thought that, as long as I cultivated well, my son would also improve. In the early stages of cultivation I had a superficial understanding, and I thought that since ordinary people have karmic debts to repay, once those debts are paid their lives would be good. I thought this would apply to my son. I also felt that I owed him a debt which had to be repaid, and I had to fulfill my responsibilities. There was no cure for his condition. He could only take medication, so we just went with the flow.
I previously wrote articles about cultivation and my understanding of my son’s situation, but I now have a new understanding. Different levels of cultivation reveal different aspects of the Fa, and the Fa manifests differently at each level. The Fa encompasses and connects all levels, and the Fa manifests specifically at each practitioner’s level. Every level has its own expression of the Fa.
For decades, my son was the person I was most concerned about. He couldn’t live without me. After I began cultivating, I hoped he would start practicing Falun Dafa. I tried many times to have him practice, but things never went as I hoped—instead it caused interference and tribulations. From a cultivation perspective, this was a good thing because enduring hardship helped me improve my character and elevate myself to a higher level. But cultivation in the human world is interfered with by various human attachments, desires, and emotions, and some are very difficult to let go. Unless a person is firmly determined to cultivate they may be taken advantage of by the old forces. Cultivation is serious, and if one fails to do well, it could lead to complete destruction.
Take my son’s illness for example. His seizures usually occur at night, and he sometimes wets the bed. When this happens frequently, it causes me a lot of frustration and emotional turbulence. Negative thoughts and attachments flood my mind, keeping me up all night. I would think at these moments, "How long will this continue?" I felt stuck in a tribulation because of my son’s illness.
Later I reflected that I am a practitioner, and this situation should not be happening. Why is it getting worse? Master said:
“… with one person practicing, the whole family benefits?” (Teachings at the Conference in Australia)
I need to take this seriously. My son is helping me cultivate. Master also said:
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2009 Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference” in Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IX)
I looked inward to see which of my thoughts and actions towards my son were not aligned with the Fa, thereby creating loopholes for the old forces to take advantage of. I found many unrighteous thoughts, and a desire for my son to quickly repay his karmic debts. These attachments were seized upon by the old forces, which intensified the tribulations and tests. They made things harder for me to bear, and created more suffering. I also discovered that on the surface I appeared to have let go of the attachment to my son, but in fact there was selfishness and an unwillingness to be troubled. There was also resentment, a lack of compassion, and a mindset of seeking escape. These all came from my incorrect thoughts and attachments. The old forces saw my attachments and took advantage of them to interfere with me. I realized that if I didn’t overcome this, I might not be able to pass the test.
I realized that in a way I neglected my son. I thought his health was already like this, so I didn’t need to focus on him. I went out to clarify the truth about the persecution to people, yet I ignored my family. What was my mission? Wasn’t it to help Master save people? Every life is precious and comes from heaven. Master is merciful to the people of the world, and as Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioners, we have the responsibility to save every sentient being. We should use righteous thoughts to stop the old forces from harming human beings. Only by negating the old forces and strengthening our righteous thoughts can we overcome the interference and truly be responsible for every life we encounter.
My mindset changed. I know that the Fa is omnipotent, and I regularly communicated this to my son, whether he listened or not. I explained how well I was doing and how I benefited from the Fa. My son then began to change. His eyesight went from being rigid and unfocused to becoming more flexible. He receives a basic allowance and sometimes buys snacks. One day he said, “I’ll buy fruit to offer to Master.” I was truly happy. The frequency of his seizures became less and less, and he became more energetic. I reminded him to remember, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance is good.” Now when I go out to do things, I no longer worry. I truly stopped worrying because I let go of my attachment and entrusted everything to Master. I need to be diligent on my cultivation path and focus on saving people.
After looking inward and understanding the Fa principles, my mindset changed significantly. I had another test. My son had a seizure at night. It was very severe, almost as if he was suffocating. This time I wasn’t moved and my mind was clear. I trusted that Master was watching over him. I knew the old forces were watching. I said, “Old forces, you are not qualified to take my son’s life. His life belongs to my Master, and is under Master’s care.” Just like that, he passed through the life and death tribulation, and I passed the test as well. Once again, I witnessed the mighty power of Dafa, and saw that when one person practices, the whole family benefits.
Dafa is the great Fa of the universe that everyone should cherish. Thank you, Master!
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Category: Improving Oneself
