(Minghui.org) I paid attention to cultivating my character by working to eliminate jealousy, resentment, competitiveness, the desire to show off, and lust—attachments that are relatively easy to identify. Despite my efforts to improve, I often receive feedback from fellow practitioners and family members who say that I sometimes make people feel uncomfortable: I’m arrogant and self-righteousness. I examined myself and found what Master describes as “demonic interference from one’s own mind” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun). I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it for a period of time, but I was unable to find the root cause.
During a recent group Fa study, we discussed “The Attachment of Zealotry” Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun). I came to understand that failing to cultivate one’s character can manifest as demonic interference from one’s own mind, which can stem from the attachment to zealotry.
Growing up, I was taught that I should be a good and honest person—I believed that good is rewarded and evil is punished. I understood that suffering a loss is a blessing. Yet, in reality, good people are bullied and taken advantage of. I discovered that many people don’t share my view. They believe that one shouldn’t suffer losses, and honest people are fools. This gradually made me doubt my belief, and led to ongoing inner conflicts.
After I began practicing Falun Dafa, I realized that my views were correct and that other people were wrong. This led me to quickly develop an attachment to zealotry.
Master taught us,
“The desire to show off plus the attachment of zealotry are most easily exploited by the demonic part of your mind.” (“Definitive Conclusion,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
I believed my understanding aligned with the Fa and I was sure I was correct. As a result, I could not tolerate criticism and failed to look inward. This hindered my xinxing improvement. When faced with criticism I often reacted with anger and I developed a tendency to judge others. Furthermore, I could not calm down when I did the exercises or sent righteous thoughts, and I struggled to study the Fa with a calm and focused mind.
My attachment to zealotry might have arisen the moment I began practicing Falun Dafa, yet I failed to recognize it even after more than twenty years of cultivation. After I identified this attachment, my sense of well-being disappeared, along with my show off mentality. Only now do I realize that for a long time, I hadn’t truly cultivated, nor had I truly looked inward. This is a profound lesson in my cultivation.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
