(Minghui.org) I remember the first time I read Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa. It took me just two days to finish it. I felt what Master said about being a good person by following Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance was wonderful.
Looking at Master’s photo, I said from the bottom of my heart, “I want to truly cultivate.” I spent all my free time studying and memorizing the Fa and I was happy every day.
However, after years of cultivating, I realized that truly practicing is not as simple as it sounds. One must go through the painful process of letting go of attachments, giving up selfish interests, and abandoning our human notions and desires.
Master Teaches Me to Be a Good Person
I realized that when facing tribulations, whether I can behave as a cultivator and truly believe Master’s words isn’t just talk. These are tests of whether I can genuinely act follow what Master said.
After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting Falun Dafa on July 20, 1999. Local practitioners no longer gathered to read the Fa or do the exercises, so I studied the Fa and did the exercises at home. My first challenge was within my family. My husband forbade me from practicing and wouldn’t allow me to interact with other practitioners. If practitioners came to our home, he yelled and cursed at them.
I was afraid that he would find out I was practicing and that he’d see me meet with fellow practitioners. I was nervous whenever he was around. The fear felt like a heavy mountain weighing me down.
One night, when he was asleep, I quietly got up and meditated. I didn’t dare to play the exercise music, because I was afraid he’d hear it. But as the saying goes, the fear mentality invites what you’re afraid of. He woke up and saw me meditating. He angrily grabbed a blanket and threw it over my head, shouting, “I told you not to practice!” When I didn’t say anything he kicked me hard and yelled, “Get up! Are you going to stop or not?”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. I threw the blanket off and said, “I’m not getting up. I’m going to practice!” My tone was harsh and full of resentment. He became even angrier. He wrapped the blanket around my head, pressed it down hard and said, “If you keep practicing, I’ll suffocate you!”
At that moment, I cried out, “Master!” Something miraculous happened. My husband immediately let go. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably.
But then he pressed the blanket down again and shouted, “If you don’t stop, I’ll beat you to death!” I didn’t respond. Instead, I remembered Master’s teachings about being a good person. I thought, “Master, I will listen to you and do my best.”
I realized my shortcomings caused this situation—my fear, resentment, and my confrontational attitude. Even my tone was not kind.
When I realized this, I told my husband, “Master teaches me to follow Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and to be a good person. I will not hit you or curse you. I was wrong for hiding my practice from you. I’ll do better from now on. Go to sleep.”
My husband stopped shouting and said, “What’s the point of practicing this?” I just smiled calmly. The heavy weight of the fear that had pressed down on me like a mountain, melted away. I felt light and I was no longer afraid of him.
The next day my husband said, “If you think Falun Dafa is good, then just practice at home. Don’t go out—I’m afraid they’ll arrest you.” I smiled but didn’t say anything. I knew as a practitioner I needed to do what I should do. He never hit me again.
Thank you, Master, for always protecting, guiding, and teaching me to become a better person.
Letting Go of the Pursuit of Personal Gain
In 2003, my husband spent 5,000 yuan to purchase an old house from his second younger brother to set up an oil mill. In 2016, I moved to a city to help my daughter care for my granddaughter. Around that time, our village planned a relocation and demolition project. My husband’s third younger brother, the village secretary, secretly transferred the property ownership to his name, knowing the demolition would bring substantial compensation.
When the demolition was confirmed the next year, the old house was valued at over 800,000 yuan (USD$10,900). A significant amount of money that was taken out of our hands. When I asked my husband about it, he explained it was all his second and third younger brothers’ doing. I felt deeply wronged, angry, and full of resentment.
However, I understood this situation wasn’t a coincidence. I knew it was testing and exposing my attachments. I studied the Fa and repeatedly recited what Master said:
“When it’s difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it’s impossible to do, you can do it.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun).”
As I continued looking inward, I realized this might be a way to pay back my karmic debts. I may have owed them something in another lifetime and now it was the time to repay that debt. Wasn’t this exposing my attachment to personal gain? The Fa required me to let it go, and I was determined to do so by following Master’s guidance.
Master helped me see a deeper understanding of the principle of “forbearance.” When your heart is moved, it hurts like a knife is pressing into it; when your heart is still, nothing can hurt you. The Chinese character for “forbearance” is a heart with a knife hovering above it. True cultivation means following Master’s teachings and being forbearing.
At 3 a.m., I still couldn’t sleep so I got up to do the exercises. My stomach and heart felt painful, as if they were being pierced. I persisted through the first four exercises, and I felt a powerful sensation during the fifth exercise, the meditation. It was as if a large hand pulled out threads of deep pain, one by one. The pain was intense, like having my heart cut open. I was drenched in sweat but thought, “This is a good thing.”
I understood Master was helping me remove layers of selfishness, resentment, the pursuit of gain, and feelings of imbalance. He taught me to put others first, be forgiving and kind, and treat others compassionately. Cultivation turned a bad situation into something positive.
With this realization, I suddenly felt that a heavy, stone-like block inside me was being dissolved. The suffocating weight in my heart disappeared, and I relaxed. My body felt light, and I almost felt like I was floating during meditation. The experience was indescribable.
From that point on, I knew how to handle challenges. I kept calm and smiled. I am kind to everyone and no longer complain or argue. I don’t have conflicts with anyone. Whenever a problem arises, my first thought is to look inward and correct myself immediately. By doing so, disputes and issues are naturally resolved.
Master taught us,
“When people’s morals change, things will change for the better.” (“Stay Rational”)
My change also influenced my husband, who now respects Master and the Fa.
Letting go of attachments only takes a moment. I am deeply grateful to Master for his meticulous guidance and protection. I am thankful to my husband and family for providing an environment for me to grow. The only way to repay all of this is to strive diligently, study the Fa more, save more people, and walk the final path well.
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