(Minghui.org) I was fortunate to be born into a family where three generations of us all practice Falun Dafa. The path of cultivation has been bumpy, and I caused Master Li a lot of worry. Below, I’d like to share my recent experience in passing a test.
My First Big Tribulation
We started to have military training at the beginning of the school year, but we were already in our senior year of high school and very busy preparing for the entrance exam to college. No one understood the school’s arrangement. Although I knew it was wrong to curse the school, I couldn’t help but join my classmates in doing it.
The next morning, the instructor asked us to sit down, rest, and quickly stand up. I wanted to try the standing method I learned during military training in junior high school, but I didn’t stand firmly and fell, hurting my tailbone. I didn’t think much of it and thought it would soon heal.
But the injury turned worse when I got home that night. It was extremely painful and difficult for me to turn over in bed. My mother asked for leave for me from school and stayed home with me the next day. When my father learned about this, he told me that I needed to study the Fa. I just responded nonchalantly and went to do my homework.
I decided to try the Dafa exercises in the afternoon. It was very painful when I stretched doing the first exercise, and I couldn’t bend at all in the fourth exercise. It felt like my hip was going to split open when I bent down. So I shortened the exercise time and studied the Fa instead. But I didn’t feel I was learning much. I felt like I was just carrying out a task and became preoccupied with the next day’s school work.
As expected, I still hadn’t recovered the next day. When I walked, it felt like my hip was dislocated. I had to swing my arms to walk faster. But the amazing thing was that, as soon as I started class, all the pain would disappear, and I had no problems riding my bike home every day. My mood was up and down.
A Sobering Reflection of My Inflated Ego
I’m a Dafa practitioner after all, so I still remembered to study the Fa. One time when I was studying the Fa, I realized that my fall was not accidental, but was aimed at my heart.
Our teacher had become harsh and unkind since we entered our senior year. He even said things like, “I am not your parents. I won’t love you like your parents do.” He also liked to waste time watching the surveillance cameras in class and did not really teach us anything useful. He was just slacking off. As a result, my classmates had very bad opinions of him. They kept complaining about him after class. I was influenced by them and started complaining about him too. I was even among the ones who criticized him the most. I found it satisfying and just.
What a strong resentment that was! After reading the Fa and thinking carefully, I realized the teacher acted that way just for me to see myself. He was so arrogant and self-righteous. Didn’t I also have an inflated ego? He was so cold and selfish, and I was sometimes like that. It’s obvious that he acted harshly so that I could get rid of my attachments. Why was I complaining? Shouldn’t I thank him?
As I was writing this, it felt as if my resentment disappeared and been replaced with heartfelt gratitude and joy. After realizing this and talking with my mother, I no longer felt the back pain too much and was able to retake the physical test.
But this was not the end of my ordeal. During the physical test, I strained myself again and felt uncomfortable. My heart began to fluctuate, and I found another fatal attachment—not believing in Master or Dafa.
Although I grew up in a home of practitioners and had always been reading Falun Dafa books, I was contaminated once I entered the world of everyday people. I was an obedient student with good grades. I didn’t always agree with what the school said, but when the teachers and classmates made negative comments about Dafa, I was shrouded in doubt.
My cultivation state fluctuated. My already weak foundation for cultivation seemed to become even worse. Fortunately, I knew deep down that Falun Dafa is not bad like what everyday people say.
However, my understanding of Dafa’s principles was not adequate. It stayed at the surface level of just being a good person. I did not have a deeper understanding and belief in Dafa and of Master’s boundless power. I always felt that those things seemed to remain in other practitioners’ experiences but did not happen in real life. This thought was already dangerous for me, in fact.
The old forces saw all of this. Whenever I had the slightest doubts, they would magnify them and make them reoccur in my mind, making it impossible for me to concentrate on things. They tried to cut off my connection with Dafa.
But compassionate Master never gave up on me. Even though I was such an unsteady practitioner, he would inject the Fa teachings into my mind whenever I felt uncomfortable or was just out walking around. These hints directly hit me with what I was going through, so I could maintain the mentality of a Dafa practitioner. But the amazing thing is, I never memorized those teachings. I just read them a few times.
Since Master has been taking care of me and enlightening me so much, I should have corrected myself and strengthened my faith. But because the big dye vat of everyday people was so fierce, I devoted all my time to my studies and neglected studying the Fa. Due to the hindrance of acquired notions, my enlightenment quality dropped again and again. I became even worse than when I was a child.
So I decided to talk with my mother. She told me that my birth was actually a miracle. As a fetus, I was in an abnormal position, and the doctor said that my mother would need a caesarean section. She tried every method that the doctor had suggested to correct my fetal position, but none of them worked. She then firmed up her will and gave up her fear of having a caesarean section. But when she went to have her prenatal check-ups, either the car was being repaired or the roads and bridges were flooded.
While meditating, my mother felt something moving in her abdomen. She went to the hospital and found that my fetal position had returned to normal. It was so magical! And for more than 20 years, we have been in good health and have not had any need to take medicine or injections. I suddenly came to my senses. It turned out that magical things were always happening. I had just forgotten them because I was caught up in worldly affairs.
I realized that Master wanted me to get rid of my attachments more completely, so the karma elimination process felt more serious. On the one hand, it got rid of my bad substances and, on the other, it helped improve my xinxing. I cannot be an ungrateful person. I told Master in my heart that I would cultivate well and get rid of all those bad thoughts. But when the tests really came, I began to retreat and doubt. How disappointing!
I always thought that cultivation was easy, as I just had to get rid of my attachments. I never thought about how much effort it would take to get rid of them from the root. Although I knew I needed to cultivate my mind and look inward, I had always been stuck in arguing with others, reflecting on my mistakes, but only removing my attachments from the surface. I was unable to maintain a peaceful and compassionate attitude, and my fighting spirit was always strong, which caused me to be worse than everyday people in many regards.
I have another very bad attachment, which is my ego. I became conceited and arrogant and was always showing off when I felt I had the slightest talent. Whenever others talked about having problems, I wanted to join in and talk about my own experiences to teach them.
I also liked to hear compliments. Once, when class was about to end, I was taking pictures and showed them to my deskmate. My deskmate said to my classmates at the break, “I know, she just wants me to praise her!” I immediately understood that Master was using her to enlighten me so that I would get rid of the desire to show off and garner praise from others. These experiences helped me get rid of my competitive spirit. Thank you, Master, for your enlightenment!
Summary
Reflecting on my experience, I have a few points that I would like to share with young practitioners:
1. Study the Fa more and do what practitioners should do. Even if you have a heavy academic workload or are under a lot of pressure from work, don’t forget your priorities. Dafa is the root of your wisdom and the source of your life. It is the most important thing.
2. Control yourself and don’t drift along with the crowd. Our classmates, as everyday people, are easily influenced by unhealthy trends. As cultivators, we should be the ones that influence them in positive ways, rather than being led by them and accepting those deviant notions.
3. Believe in Master and the Fa. We must firmly believe that Master is always by our side. We have all felt the extraordinary and miraculous power of Dafa. We must not let the misunderstandings of everyday people affect our righteous faith. We must have righteous thoughts and actions!
4. Read more sharing articles. During my vacation, I took a whole morning to read practitioners’ sharing articles. I felt that every article was talking about me. I benefited a lot from reading them. After talking with others, any difficulties no longer seemed to be so difficult, and I became clear-headed. It felt like waking up from a dream. I would like to thank Minghui.org and the practitioners who wrote those articles. They were really helpful!
The above are some of my insights. Due to the limitations of my level, I would like to ask fellow practitioners to kindly point out anything that is deemed incorrect or inappropriate. I sincerely hope that young practitioners who are still misguided among everyday people will make progress and seize the little time that is left!
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