(Minghui.org) My husband and I attended a lunch gathering with his colleagues. I sent forth righteous thoughts before we left and hoped that those present could learn about Falun Dafa and the persecution. I wanted to maintain righteous thoughts.
We talked about family matters while having lunch. One colleague said her father was difficult to take care of. Her complaint was like a bomb and triggered my deep-seated resentment towards my father-in-law. My husband (a non-practitioner) and I talked about how hard it was to care for my father-in-law.
I felt dizzy and nauseous as I spoke, and was about to faint. But I didn’t want to faint since it would damage the image of Dafa practitioners, so I steadied myself and slowly walked to the restroom.
I held onto a post next to the restroom to avoid fainting, and I began vomiting. I asked Master quietly, “I’m wrong. Please help me.” I asked for help many times but didn’t feel better, so I thought the old forces were interfering with me. Thus, I sent forth righteous thoughts, “Eliminate the old forces’ interference. Even if I’m wrong, the old forces cannot control me, and I will rectify myself within the Fa.”
But I continued vomiting. I realized I should search inward and look for my mistake. I recalled what happened during lunch. I was supposed to clarify the truth to people, but not only did I not do it, I said things that a practitioner shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have looked at my father-in-law with human notions and speak ill of him.
The old forces saw my resentment towards my father-in-law and that I wasn’t cultivating my speech. Therefore, they made me suffer and attempted to drag me down. Although I asked Master for help, Master couldn’t help me since the old forces seized my loophole and had an excuse to interfere with me.
A cultivator should look at things with righteous thoughts. When someone complained about her father, I should have searched inward to see if I had similar issues. I discovered I was resentful, failed to cultivate my speech, and was attached to my reputation.
I said quietly, “Master, I admit I’m wrong. I want to get rid of my resentment, and I want to cultivate my speech.” I then sensed that the bad substance was removed. I stopped vomiting, no longer felt dizzy, and I was fine.
This is my current understanding. Please kindly correct me if anything I’ve written is not in line with the Fa.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights