(Minghui.org) Over the past two years, I have faced a significant tribulation that directly affected my ability to do the three things well and had a negative impact on Dafa. I know the persecution of Falun Dafa continues, but if I have no loopholes, the evil cannot interfere with me. Therefore, I began looking inward to find my shortcomings.

I recently realized that something I did two years ago exposed a significant issue in my faith in Master Li and the Fa. I seriously deviated from the Fa principles, and this loophole in my cultivation gave the old forces an excuse to persecute me. The moment I recognized the problem, I felt extremely remorseful. The pain was heart-wrenching. Here, I will share my mistakes and the profound lessons I learned, laying them bare, in the hope that they will serve as a reminder to fellow practitioners.

On September 2, 2022, I fell on the side of the road while on an errand, and after that, my left leg did not function normally. Because I had been previously arrested and detained for following my faith and was listed as a key target in the region, I was often harassed by people from the police station and the neighborhood committee.

When they harassed me, I told them, “My legs and feet do not work well, so I don’t go out.” I implied that they didn’t have to worry about me distributing information about Falun Dafa and that they didn’t have to harass me all the time. However, I was still harassed on several occasions, and I said the same thing each time. I didn’t realize that what I was doing was wrong.

Recently, as I studied the Fa and looked inward, I discovered three major problems.

First, my words inadvertently obeyed and cooperated with the authorities’ commands, implying an element of commitment and compromise on my part.

The purpose of their visit was to tell me not to go out and validate the Fa. “My legs don’t work well, and I’m not going out” exactly suited their demands. Wasn’t I cooperating with them? Cultivation is very serious, and there is no room for falsehood. Is a cultivator who cooperates with the evil still a cultivator?

I saw that the root cause of my behavior was selfishness and wanting to follow my agenda. I wanted to be rid of their interference and find a peaceful environment for cultivation. I resented the harassers. Although I told them the truth, it was not appropriate to tell the truth with a sense of resentment and to hope to gain from what I said.

Second, when I couldn’t go out because of my leg, a thought flashed through my mind: If I couldn’t go out to validate the Fa, I could avoid being persecuted.

Is this the state that a Dafa disciple should be in, fearing arrest, imprisonment, and persecution for validating the Fa and fearing the loss of my comfortable life?

Assisting with Master Li’s Fa-rectification and saving people is my mission. If I fail to complete my mission and fulfill my historic vow, I will not only regret it in the future but, more seriously, I will have to face the consequences of breaching the vows I took. Is this a trivial matter?

Third, the leg problem is a false appearance. A cultivator’s body is free of illness. Accepting an ailment as a fact was admitting that I have a disease, which caused the disease to manifest.

When I thought that I was unable to go out, the old forces seized upon this idea and made my legs and back hurt so that I couldn’t go out. In the past two years, the old forces have changed their tactics and created various false appearances to interfere with and persecute me. They made my back and legs ache so much that I couldn’t stand, sit for a long time, sleep, or leave my house, and they made other incorrect states appear. I have been in severe pain almost every day.

Master told us,

“You yourselves will meet with adversity if you are even just a little bit careless as you work to end the persecution.” (The Ordeals Our Spiritual Discipline Faces)

I unintentionally cooperated with evil and avoided doing things to validate the Fa. I acknowledged the falsehood of the persecution. I seriously deviated from Dafa and did things that a Dafa disciple should not do. I brought a long-term tribulation on myself, and the lesson I learned was profound.

My selfish thoughts got the upper hand, and instead of checking whether my words and deeds conformed to the standards of the Fa, I just wanted to free myself from the harassment. I thought no one knew, but I was deceiving myself; the divine beings know every thought I have.

Having a firm belief in the Fa is more than just saying the words. At critical moments, the truth shows in one’s thoughts and actions. I still did not completely believe in Master and the Fa.

I was momentarily confused and fell into the trap set by the evil, and I did things that a Dafa disciple should not do. Facing the tribulations, I realized that I could not just passively endure them. I should completely negate the false appearances and all of the old forces’ arrangements, eliminate all negative factors in my space field, firmly follow the path arranged by Master, persist in studying the Fa well, practice the exercises well, and send strong righteous thoughts.

When faced with adversity, I should see it as a good thing, an opportunity to eliminate karma and to change my true nature to reach the new universe’s standards. I know that my leg does not have any infirmity. I had an incorrect notion. I must dispel all such notions and go out and do things to validate the Fa as soon as possible.

I will steadfastly believe in Master and Dafa, resist the persecution, assist Master in saving people, and fulfill my vow.