(Minghui.org) As a young practitioner who was once lost among ordinary people and was pulled back by Master during last summer break, I would like to share my recent cultivation experience.
Master taught us,
“I also want to tell you that your nature in the past was actually based on egotism and selfishness. From now on, whatever you do, you should consider others first, so as to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on, whatever you do or whatever you say, you must consider others—or even future generations—along with Dafa’s eternal stability.” (“Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
This reminds me of the things that happened recently. Not only did they reflect my various attachments, but they also exposed my selfishness.
Obsession with Snacks
I had a strong desire to eat snacks lately. At first, I didn’t take it to heart. Instead, I went along with it, thinking I could eat whatever I wanted. I didn’t behave like a cultivator at all. I recognized that the obsession was an attachment when I was reading the topic of eating meat in Zhuan Falun.
Master said,
“What a strong desire that is. Think about it, everyone: Shouldn’t this desire be removed? It definitely should. In the course of cultivation, one is to give up different desires and attachments. To put it plainly, if the desire to eat meat is not removed, isn’t it that the attachment hasn’t been abandoned? How could one complete cultivation? Therefore, as long as it is an attachment, it has to be removed.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that although I am not obsessed with meat, the same principle is true for snacks, so I have to get rid of this attachment. At first, it was really difficult for me. Every afternoon, I still wanted to eat this and that.
One day, my attachment to food came up again, so I asked my aunt, a fellow practitioner, to make some for me. She did, and I finished it quickly. But afterward, I felt extremely uncomfortable and wanted to throw up. It was just like Master said in Zhuan Falun,
“You may again be suddenly unable to eat meat.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I felt ashamed that I needed Master to enlighten me to this extent. Now, when the desire to eat comes up, I can ignore it. I believe that I will become more determined as I cultivate more.
Watching Streaming Videos
I heard of practitioners being attached to watching videos online, but I didn’t think it was related to me until my aunt encountered a major tribulation after she became addicted to streaming videos and online shopping. She overcame the tribulation after seriously looking within and with Master’s strengthening of her righteous thoughts.
One night, I had a dream where my grandma told me that my aunt had been arrested again. My grandma is currently illegally imprisoned for practicing Falun Dafa, but my aunt has never been arrested. I discussed the dream with my aunt. She admitted that she had previously given up indulging in videos and shopping online, but she had picked them up again recently.
This also alerted me. Even though I don’t watch short videos, I watch situational comedies in English, and I called it learning, not entertainment. The result was that my eye would hurt when I read the Fa if I watched videos. Otherwise, my eye would not hurt. I came to the realization that I should not add unclean stuff into my mind, so I try not to touch my smart phone or computer as much as possible.
I now feel relaxed and clear-headed, and there are fewer obstacles in studying the Fa.
Kindness
My head teacher asked me if I had time to participate in a volunteer activity a few days ago. I told my aunt and she said I should participate because it might be an opportunity to awaken someone. But I still made some excuses and refused to participate.
In the evening, my mother came home and said, “Your teacher told me that you can participate in an activity. Do you want to go?” I got upset and said no to my mom.
Before going to bed, my mother came to me and said, “It’s better if you go and participate. It’s not often that you can interact with overseas students.” At that time, I felt very angry and yelled at her, “I don’t want to go!” My mother left without a word. My aunt then came in and tried to talk some sense into me. But I was only thinking about myself, and I burst into tears, feeling aggrieved.
As I cried, I felt something was wrong: This didn’t seem to be me. My aunt, mother, and teacher didn’t force me, so why was I upset? Finally, I enlightened that this was a test I needed to overcome. I realized that I often fail to show kindness and love to the others in my life. I always consider myself first and whether a matter will benefit me. I don’t do as Master said, in that my starting point should be to save and love others.
After calming down, I started looking inward and discovered that it was my laziness, fear of trouble, greed, competitiveness, and most importantly, selfishness that had all triggered me and caused me to react so violently.
I think that in my future cultivation, I should cultivate more kindness, be considerate of others, and get rid of selfishness.
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