(Minghui.org) When I was a child, I fell down the stairs and suffered a concussion. I then had a fever, which turned into pneumonia. I subsequently developed bronchial asthma and neurodermatitis. When I grew up, I couldn’t work, and all my family’s income was spent on my medical treatments. But my illnesses were not cured. After practicing Falun Dafa, they disappeared, and I was finally able to support myself financially.
Due to the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP’s) ongoing persecution of Falun Dafa, I was illegally sentenced to prison twice and lost my source of income. I’d been living with my mother, and these incidents caused her immense pain and suffering. She passed away earlier this year. I was suddenly all alone and facing financial hardship. When other practitioners found out about this, they supported me and helped me find solutions.
I recall Master Li said,
“I’ll give you an example. A student’s family all of sudden gets into financial difficulties. For a cultivator, this hardship is very possibly the result of his owing this kind of debt in the past. During the karma elimination process, he must bear something like this, but it won’t last long. I’m saying that might be the case. Then, some students think that since he’s having such a hard time, “We should help him out.” How to help him? Everyone contributes some money, gives him money, and provides for his family. Well, he stops doing anything from then on. Other than studying the Fa, he just stays at home and lives on their money. A little later, he stops studying the Fa, too: “Just bring me the money and I’ll just live like this now.” Think about it, everyone. You do have compassion, but you can’t handle these things that way. Everyone has his own tribulations. You can assist him out of compassion by helping him find a job or by temporarily attending to some emergencies, but you absolutely can’t do that over a long period of time. You would be disrupting the path I arranged for him, and it would become impossible for him to cultivate. In the end, he would stop cultivating.” (“Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.”)
So I thanked these practitioners for their kindness, but refused to accept their money. If I couldn’t refuse it, I used the money for making truth-clarification materials. I reminded myself: This is my path and I must walk it well. But then I stumbled heavily over what started out as a seemingly trivial matter.
Last year, practitioner Ping and I began working together to clarify the truth to people face-to-face. Every morning, we’d go out and talk to people, and then take the bus home at noon. At first, Ping offered to pay my fare, but I declined, saying I would just swipe my debit card. But Ping would often get on first and pay for me. Over time, I stopped using my card. Sometimes, I’d get on the bus first and wait for Ping to pay and think nothing of it.
Ping once suggested, “Let’s go get some fast food.” I initially refused, but she said, “Come on, this food is pretty good!” We went and Ping paid and, again, I didn’t think much of it. We later ate at another restaurant. I ordered first and though I could have paid for myself, I told the cashier that Ping would pay. After I got home, I felt very uncomfortable, but I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I was wondering: What happened today? What did I do wrong? But I couldn’t enlighten to anything.
During the evening Fa study, I read,
“Gradually, this person would accept small gifts. Later, he would also accept big gifts. In the end, he would even be offended when he was not given enough.” (Lecture Three in Zhuan Falun)
I suddenly understood what had been happening: from accepting one yuan for my busfare, to now accepting more than ten yuan for a meal; from initially declining money, to now accepting it readily. What’s next? I didn’t dare think about it any further. I realized I must return the money to Ping.
However, I was afraid of losing face, so I kept putting it off. When we went out again, Ping wanted to buy a meal, but I said, “I’m not hungry. If you’re hungry, go ahead and eat. I’ll wait for you.” This forced Ping to give up eating and walk home with me instead of taking the bus.
After doing this a few times, I realized I shouldn’t be so selfish, thinking only of myself without considering Ping. After doing some more Fa study, I talked to Ping, exposing my attachments of greed, desire for profit, saving face, and fear of hardship. I then returned the money in full to her.
There are no trivial matters in cultivation. This is the path Master has arranged for me, and I must walk it righteously.
My level is limited, so if there’s anything not in line with the Fa, please correct me.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
