(Minghui.org) After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP ) seized power in 1949, China’s traditional culture and values were degraded beyond recognition. To start with, let’s look at what happened to the traditional marriage ceremony.
In addition to the wedding attire, the names of those witnessing the ceremony were changed from “Heaven and Earth” and “parents” to the local “CCP secretary.” People were strongly advised to hold wedding ceremonies around CCP celebration days, such as Labor Day (May 1) or National Day (October 1); honoring “Heaven and Earth” was replaced with “bowing to the portrait of Mao.”
In a traditional Chinese wedding, the couple performed a ritual called Bai Tiandi (拜天地), in which they bowed to Heaven and Earth as a sign of respect.
Some emperors in ancient China went to Mount Tai to offer sacrifices and worship Heaven and Earth. The emperors of the Ming and Qing dynasties also held annual rituals at the Temple of Heaven (Tiāntán) and the Temple of Earth (Dìtán) in Beijing to honor Heaven and Earth. All were expressing their reverence to the Divine.
The Origins and Development of the Marriage Ceremony
According to the Statutes of State Rituals (Lidian) in the Comprehensive Statutes (Tongdian), an encyclopedia of statecraft, it was Fuxi (the founder of the Chinese people and the first emperor of China) who established the ritual of a marriage ceremony. By the Western Zhou period (1046-771 BC), the Book of Rites stated: “When Heaven and Earth unite in harmony, all things come to life. When a man and a woman perform the marriage ceremony, it marks the beginning of their descendants.” It is therefore said: “The marriage ceremony forms the foundation of all ritual propriety.” Giving a deerskin as a betrothal gift was introduced in the Zhou Dynasty’s “Six Rites” process for a formal wedding.
The ancient people believed that “only when men and women are properly differentiated can there be a rightful bond between husband and wife; only when there is righteousness between husband and wife can there be affection between father and son; and only when there is affection between father and son can there be proper order between ruler and subject.”
In other words, the moral bond between a husband and wife constitutes the foundation for familial affection and the proper relationship between ruler and subjects. Therefore, everything from the betrothal to the marriage ceremony was treated with great solemnity.
The marriage ceremony also marks the beginning of family tradition and education, as well as the starting point of two families establishing a new kinship and forming new networks of relatives and social relationships.
After the Duke of Zhou (reign 1042-1035 BC) established the Rites of Zhou, marriage was formalized through solemn ceremonies known as the “Six Rites,” namely: 1) 纳彩Nàcǎi – the man’s family, through a matchmaker, seeks consent of the woman’s family; 2) 问名Wènmíng – if the female’s family gives their consent, the matchmaker, on behalf of the man’s family, asks about the female’s birthday and the eight characters (a system of astrology), as well as her mother’s surname, because marriage between people of the same surname is prohibited; 3) 纳吉Nàjí – matching the eight characters of the male and the female through divination to confirm auspiciousness. If the eight characters match, the marriage is approved; 4) 纳征Nàzhēng – Presentation of Betrothal Gifts in full to the female; 5) 请期Qǐngqī – Setting the wedding date, and 6) 迎亲Yíngqīn – Welcoming the bride to the groom’s family.
Within the Japanese Imperial Family, the series of ceremonies from engagement to marriage, such as the Nosai no Gi (Ceremony of Betrothal Gifts), Kokki no Gi (Ceremony of Reporting the Wedding Date), Haiga no Gi (Ceremony of Worship), and Choken no Gi (Ceremony of Imperial Audience) are in fact a continuation of the traditional rituals of propriety rooted in Chinese traditional culture.
The True Meaning of “A Match Made in Heaven”
These days, when people talk about “a perfect match” or “a match made in heaven,” they believe it refers to “a perfect marriage,” and the phrase has been given a completely new set of meanings, such as gender equality, owning a house and a car, and a partnership between two independent individuals rather than a relationship of dependence. They focus on their choice to be childfree, and regard ending an unhappy marriage as an act of courage instead of a failure.
However, for thousands of years and through various dynasties, people have always regarded marriage as one of the most significant events in one’s life, serving as a stable pillar of emotional support, a way to continue the family bloodline, a means of passing down cultural traditions across generations, and a foundation for enhancing social stability and a sense of order.
The “Six Rites” varied in their specific rituals in terms of complexity, but they were largely passed down and preserved through the dynasties. In marriage, the most important ritual of all is “Honoring Heaven and Earth for witnessing the marriage” (拜天地Bàitiāndì). From that moment on, husband and wife should treat each other with gratitude and loyalty, facing together the sweetness and bitterness, the wealth and poverty of life, and remaining faithful until death. It’s generally believed that only men and women who keep their promises can grow old together in marriage and truly be called “a match made in heaven.” Why is it so?
There is a saying: “No destiny, no marriage.” However, destiny may not always be a good or bad one. Feng Menglong, a writer in the late Ming and early Qing dynasties, wrote in Stories to Caution the World (1624): “Only those who share karmic grudges meet, but when will it ever end?”
When people who don’t have karmic ties with each other meet, they don’t feel anything about the other person. However, those bound by such connections inevitably meet and interact regardless of their wishes. Within these karmic bonds, there is not only love and gratitude, repayment of kindness, but also the settling of grudges and debts. Marriage itself is a form of karmic destiny. Heaven arranges for “enemies” to meet in marriage so that their karmic debts may be resolved. This is the deeper meaning of the phrase “a match made in Heaven.”
Story of Liu Tingshi of the Northern Song
During the Northern Song dynasty, Liu Tingshi from Qizhou was an upright and very honest man who always kept his promises. When he was young, he was introduced to a woman in his hometown, and they pledged to spend their lives together. With the help of a matchmaker, they became officially engaged, and planned to exchange betrothal gifts and marry within a few years.
Later, he passed the Civil Service Examination and became an official. Just then, his fiancée fell ill and lost her sight. She was from a poor farming family, and because she was now blind, her family didn’t dare to bring up the topic of the couple’s engagement.
The young woman often wept, crushed over her misfortune, and worried that the engagement she had with Liu Tingshi would not be honored after all.
When Liu Tingshi heard what happened to his fiancée, people around him tried to dissuade him from marrying her so his happiness would not be affected. But Liu Tingshi rejected their advice with a smile, saying, “My heart is already engaged with her. How can I betray my heart simply because she has become blind?”
Liu Tingshi married his blind fiancée, and they happily supported each other through life’s challenges, growing old together. Their love story was passed down through generations, and Liu Tingshi was hailed as a model for keeping promises and honoring marriage vows.
In the true sense of “a marriage made in heaven,” Liu Tingshi might have owed a favor in a past life and came to repay it in this one. He fulfilled his karmic duty, and their “match made in heaven” also came to a perfect conclusion.
Liu and his wife enjoyed a long-lasting, happy marriage. They had three sons. All three children performed very well in the Civil Service Examination and each became a high-ranking official.
Qin Zanyuan Changes Plans to Enable Someone Else’s Marriage
When Qin Zanyuan, from Jiading, a district in Shanghai, passed the Civil Service Examination during the Qing dynasty, his wife passed away, and he decided he would remarry. However, on the wedding night, the young woman kept weeping sadly. Qin Zanyuan found it strange and asked her why she was so upset.
“In my childhood, I was betrothed to a son of the Li family from the neighboring village, but later, my parents thought that the Li family was too poor, so they forced them to break off the engagement, and compelled me to marry someone else. I thought that since I was already engaged to marry into the Li family, it was against the moral code of a woman for me to marry into a different family, and that’s why I feel very sad and can’t help weeping,” she explained.
Qin was shocked to hear her story, and said, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I almost made a terrible mistake!” He then left the bridal chamber and told a servant to invite the son of the Li family over. When the son arrived, Qin said to the man and the young woman, “It’s a fine night, and you two shall marry here in my house.” He also gave them all the money and gifts he had received for his own wedding.
The young couple was moved to tears and didn’t know what to say. All they could do was kowtow to express their deep gratitude.
Qin Zanyuan’s actions received widespread praise from the people. In the 28th year of Qianlong’s reign, Qin Zanyuan passed the final imperial examination. During the court examination, he was personally chosen by the emperor as the Zhuangyuan—Number One Scholar—in the imperial examination.
Qin Zanyuan didn’t take advantage of the young woman’s situation, instead, he showed respect and honored her previous engagement. His virtue and kindness were by no means unrelated to his later success in passing the imperial examination and being personally appointed as the top candidate by the emperor—something people often refer to as “cause and effect.”
Observing Proper Etiquette Is Not “Feudal”
In the Book of Rites, when Duke Ai asked why people ascribe so much honor to rites, Confucius replied: “According to what I have heard, of all things by which the people live, rites (proper rituals) are the most important. Without them, one cannot regulate affairs in harmony with the spirits of Heaven and Earth; without them one would have no way of distinguishing the positions appropriate for rulers and ministers, superior and inferior, elder and younger; without them, one would not know how to differentiate affection properly between male and female, father and son, elder brother and younger, or the interactions between the contracting families in a marriage.”
The significance of upholding propriety while ensuring peace and enabling people to pursue their livelihoods should not be underestimated.
Some may argue that hierarchy is just a matter of rank. Isn’t that a feudal concept? In fact, the distinction between yin and yang, between the honored and the humble, reflects the natural order that upholds the functioning of heaven and earth.
Just as the four seasons follow their natural cycle throughout the year, and music is harmonized through the interplay of high, middle, and low notes, the existence of yin and yang in Heaven and Earth reflects a distinction between higher and lower. Heaven is yang, and Earth is yin; Heaven is higher, Earth is lower; day is brighter, night is darker. Chaos and disorder can never be markers of civilization.
In fact, the word “feudal” (封建Fēngjiàn) first appeared in the Book of Songs, Odes of Shang, Yin Wu” in an ode praising King Yin Wu (Wu Ding), which said, “Those in subordinate states receive his orders—blessings bestowed by feudal grant.” So, “feudal” referred to a political system in ancient China that granted land in exchange for a pledge of service. This turned clansmen and chieftains into vassals bound to the lord through reciprocal service and protection. The word “feudal” carried no negative connotation.
The United States of America, with a 250-year history, adopted a federal system. Can it be viewed as a nation created by federated states based on the democratic principles of its citizens? The key difference is that governors with autonomous power are not appointed by the president as local lords, but are chosen through democratic elections as prescribed by the Constitution.
Traditional Rituals Embody Moral Principles
Ritual propriety follows the three principles of Heaven, Earth, and Humanity, and observing them ensures the stable functioning of society. The marriage ritual is the most important between men and women, and it should be arranged in accordance with the principles of Heaven and Earth.
People in today’s society often view weddings as opportunities to show off, and some even go as far as jeopardizing their future family’s financial stability just for appearances. These social norms are the result of commercial exploitation and the decline of traditional values and ethics in modern society.
(To be continued)
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Category: Traditional Culture
