(Minghui.org) I am 62 years old and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for nearly 30 years. My brother-in-law told me about Falun Dafa in 1995. After I began practicing I was no longer interested in taking exams to advance myself at work or changing departments. I just wanted to devote all my time and energy to studying the Fa (teachings) and cultivating my mind so I could quickly return to my heavenly home with Master. I was always shy and timid but I became confident.
I read Master’s new lectures and as my understanding of Dafa deepened I tried to align my actions with the Fa: I stopped paying dues for the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) as soon as Master published the article “Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World.” I also wrote a petition when practitioners began suing Jiang Zemin (the former CCP leader who initiated the persecution).
When the CCP began persecuting Falun Dafa in 1999, some people were frightened and stopped practicing. Others believed the lies and slander published in the state-run newspapers and radio stations. Master teaches people how to be good and how to cultivate themselves. Falun Dafa has nothing to do with politics, money, or power.
I decided to go to Beijing to speak up for Dafa and Master. Before I left work that day I put the company seal in a cabinet and left it unlocked so people could find it if I didn’t return on Monday. I went home and I tidied it. I felt relieved the moment I stepped out of the door—the emotional ties to family were immediately untied.
I brought my child with me and met my brother at the station and we boarded the train to Beijing. Many practitioners were stopped at the ticket gate and others were taken off the train before it reached Beijing when their IDs were checked.
My brother and I got off the train in Beijing the next morning. We met many practitioners on our way to the National Petition Office. We joined other practitioners there and quietly waited for a response. We were surrounded by thousands of police officers armed with live ammunition while my child and I ate dinner. My brother, my child, and I managed to leave the area without any trouble.
My sister and I decided to print informational materials about Falun Dafa. My husband tightly controlled my finances because I refused to stop practicing Falun Dafa. He had a high salary, but he only paid some of our children’s tuition. I had little money left after I paid all the family expenses.
My sister was not much better off financially than me. I bought a laptop and she bought a printer, so we had the most basic equipment. My sister hurriedly printed materials when her husband wasn’t home. She noticed that a small flower blossomed outside in the harsh winter and believed this happened because of our righteous efforts.
I kept my mission in mind and distributed truth clarifying materials about the persecution in our area. Whether it was a high-end residential area, a heavily guarded military compound, or a winding path in the countryside, I visited them all. The road of cultivation was difficult and dangerous, but I did not fall. I kept moving forward. Over the years, whether I was at work, taking care of my granddaughter, or traveling around the world with my husband, I took every opportunity to tell people about Falun Dafa and fulfill my vow as a Falun Dafa practitioner.
A practitioner couple printed hundreds of beautiful cards and sealed them in plastic envelopes. My sister and I took them home and strung them on colored threads. We planned to hang them all over the mountains and at scenic spots in our area. That morning, I suddenly felt uncomfortable and weak all over and noticed I had corns on my foot. It hurt even when I walked on flat ground, let alone walking in the mountains. I wanted to back out, but then I thought, my sister is several years older than me and she never said she was tired. I realized we couldn’t delay hanging the cards so I asked Master to help me and I stumbled to the meeting place.
The corn on my foot stopped hurting as soon as we started walking. We hung truth-clarifying cards on both sides of the road as we walked. Patrol cars and motorcycles sped past us on the mountain roads. We climbed up the high slopes along the roadside several times in order to avoid the police from seeing us and confiscating the materials. Passersby saw the beautiful cards and read: “Falun Dafa is good! Dafa is practiced in more than 100 countries around the world!” We walked about 20 km that day. I didn’t feel tired and my foot did not hurt. It was an incredible experience.
My cultivation environment was particularly good for a period of time. My daughter worked in another city. My husband went to the suburbs to drink and stayed overnight on weekends. I didn’t need to cook, so I was free at night. Sometimes I took a bus to the countryside to distribute truth-clarification materials with fellow practitioners.
One day, I accidentally saw a text conversation on my husband’s cell phone and realized he was having an affair. This was like a jolt out of the blue. My husband always boasted to me that he had no interest in other women. He was a leader of a state-owned enterprise. I could not believe he actually did such a thing.
He was always stingy, but he spent money on that woman like water. A small hairpin cost hundreds of yuan. I was furious, and my heart was filled with grievances. I knew that I was a cultivator and should take it lightly, but I still could not act properly when faced with such a sudden conflict.
My husband knew that I discovered his secret. Instead of feeling guilty, he used my practicing Falun Dafa as an excuse to criticize me. I knew that I was passing the test, but the feeling of grievance, resentment, and complaints surged like a tide. I had all kinds of thoughts while I did the exercises and I was unable to reach tranquility when I meditated.
My human thoughts and divine thoughts were fought with each other. I kept reciting Master’s Fa:
“If this qing is not relinquished, you will be unable to cultivate. If you break free from this qing, nobody can affect you. An everyday person’s mind will be unable to sway you. What comes and replaces it is benevolence, which is a nobler thing.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Master’s Fa gave me guidance. I kept letting go of my qing for my husband. Sometimes when I talked with him, the urge to ridicule and blame him kept surfacing. I told myself that it was thought karma, and I should treat him as if nothing happened. I felt very uncomfortable at first, but I gradually felt better.
As I studied the Fa and cultivated my mind I gradually walked out of this period of confusion. I read other practitioners’ cultivation experiences on Minghui.org, and found that many practitioners encountered similar issues. This messed up phenomenon is common in mainland China.
Looking back, I am very grateful to my husband. I really thank him from the bottom of my heart. He provided me with the opportunity to improve my xinxing and gave me a deep understanding of qing. This incident happened a long time ago. My husband is now retired, and is no longer a big boss who orders people around. The other woman also left him long ago. For me, this incident is like a page I read. I deleted it, but it still leaves a trace on the computer. I don’t blame him and I have no complaint. Instead I’m calm and indifferent.
So many things happened on the path of cultivation. To give up human attachment is not as easy as just talking about it. One example is illness karma. At first I felt a bit bored when nothing happened to me. “How come I don’t have illness karma?” When I passed some small karma such as fever, cough, leg pain, etc., I was a little complacent. Then it came the bigger symptoms: headache, high blood pressure, and little red spots all over my body, which were very itchy.
I felt tremendous pressure and sometimes even thought about taking medicine. But I knew that I was eliminating karma, which was a good thing and an opportunity to improve. I increased the length of time I sent forth righteous thoughts. I looked inward, read the Fa, and recited “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” But the improvement was minimal. I told myself that I must believe in Master and the Fa, put myself in Master’s hands, and let go of my attachment to illnesses. If I’m eliminating karma I will bear it. If it is imposed by the old forces, I will resolutely eradicate it.
Master extended this period of time so we can help him save people and rectify the Fa, so our mission is urgent. I must treasure the time to cultivate myself well and save more people.