(Minghui.org) I am a professional painter. Over the more than 20 years of my cultivation, I have lost my way many times and made mistakes repeatedly, but Master has never given up on me. I would like to share some of my cultivation experiences and understandings. If anything is not in line with the Fa, I hope that fellow practitioners will compassionately correct me.

(1)

I often think cultivation is a matter of choice. On key issues, it is a question of whether you choose to go toward the divine or toward the human. Learning how to paint, I sometimes made the right choices, but sometimes my choices were wrong. Often, if a choice was aligned with the Fa, I would know that I had chosen the right path almost right away, but if I chose the wrong path, without exception, I only realized it in hindsight.

I didn’t practice diligently in high school. I just knew that Dafa was good and that I should follow the path Master arranged. But how could I follow the path arranged by Master? I didn’t have a clear understanding at the time.

I didn’t focus on studying painting in high school, because my thinking was more active. I had all kinds of things I wanted to do, but they were all related to modern, deviated art forms. For a period of time, I really wanted to do street graffiti, so I went to learn it. It was something I was very interested in, but when I got to know more about the factors behind it, I woke up.

I read Teaching the Fa at the Discussion on Writing Music and Creating Fine Art, and I knew that it was good to do everything in accordance with Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, but what street graffiti reflected and wanted to express was not in line with these principles, so I chose not go in that direction after becoming aware of this.

Through Fa study, I gradually discarded many forms of artistic expression that I had liked, and I chose to learn oil painting from scratch. My thinking was relatively simple: I thought the history of oil painting reached far back into the past, and there was a brilliant history of oil painting in the West, so Master must approve of this path.

This time, I made the right choice.

But how could I learn it and who could I learn it from? In my environment at that time, those who could teach me only knew about modern things, so I was very distressed. To make my work more orthodox and more traditional, I accumulated strong attachments, which blinded me and made me constantly pursue things externally. I visited a lot of famous painters and made many friends in academic circles, hoping to learn more from them. During this long detour, I felt that I was making progress, and sometimes I became complacent about my progress. I sometimes was jealous of other people’s achievements. I was seriously trapped in this state.

I then accidentally discovered that when I had been in the beginning stages, when no one could teach me, what I had painted was a hundred times better than what I was painting currently. I realized that I had gone astray. I realized that, because I was a Dafa disciple and what Dafa disciples assimilate to is Dafa, the best thing in the whole universe, I was originally innocent and beautiful, so the things I drew were naturally clean. Most of the things I had pursued and the skills I had learned were produced in corrupt contexts. I had learned too much of that stuff. If I didn’t identify what I had learned, it would be like being covered with layer after layer of soil. It turns out that painting is the same as cultivation. I can’t pursue things externally, I have to look inward.

As I continued to paint and cultivate, when I looked back, the scenes in my memory were different. I found that what that my ordinary mentors had said to me were actually arranged by Master. Though each of them had a deviated side, the suggestions they had given me were the most righteous and in line with the traditional side of painting. It was these seemingly deviated teachings that had been pieced together to create a very orthodox route for me. It turned out that Master had already made arrangements for me. I had thought I was extraordinary, and I had looked everywhere and found nothing. After realizing this, I no longer pursued knowledge. What I needed to learn would naturally appear in the Fa.

I concentrated on painting and stopped looking outward. I found many answers close to the essence of painting, and more cutting-edge research came to me from all directions. I was often given hints about problems that were concerning me. Cultivation is wonderful.

(2)

Influenced by the paintings in official exhibitions in China and experiences in academia, I had been afraid of creating my own paintings. I could do small paintings, but I had no clue about creating a significant artwork. I had notions that creating art is about collecting information, having enough photos, and doing enough small drafts, etc. But I had thought that the most important thing was the photo, because without a photo, in a sense, the techniques I had learned would not work.

Fellow practitioners gave me some advice. Because, in China, it is difficult to draw content that directly expresses the persecution, they suggested that I paint beautiful scenes from my practice. I once saw the image of a god very clearly with my celestial eye, but a huge notion about painting realistically hindered me like a mountain. I was slow to start painting and wasted this opportunity.

I looked at the paintings of Raphael and the Renaissance masters. They had painted gods and people without photos. Didn’t they create brilliant art anyway? What did they rely on? I fought against these notions in my head, but I missed the fact that these artists had the power to create beautiful art because of their righteous faith in God. Before cameras, were there no masters of painting? The absence of photos and reference materials were not the reason why I could not create works of art. I fought against these notions. What was the reason for my delay in painting? I found a hidden attachment to reputation, a kind of notion that worries about what others will think of me when my painting is different from others. After finding this attachment, I made up my mind to try to create a composition.

I started to use my imagination and made a lot of small sketches. This went much faster than I had expected, but it was enough to exhaust me. I chose one of the sketches and started to design the colors. With the help of some software tools, I put the drawn color draft on the computer to grade the color. I started drawing the heads of the main characters, designing their expressions. I made complete sketches of each character and turned them into colored avatars. This took about two weeks. I finalized details in places I had been uncertain about. I took some photos with my phone as a reference. This whole beautiful process lasted a month, and I created new things every day. I could feel the process of these characters coming into existence from scratch as I was doing it. The way things were working out gave me considerable determination and strength.

I then began to customize the frame and the size of the canvas. The initial work went quickly, but many problems that I hadn’t anticipated cropped up (because I’d increased the size, the lines that had originally looked very tight on the small draft left a lot of space in the middle. There were also awkward arrangements). This process of change was miserable. I regretted not taking these issues into account in advance with every change. It was all a lesson.

As I painted, when I was concentrating and very engaged, I found that I didn’t need to put a small sketch next to it, I could continue painting, and sometimes this would last for a long time. I just got the brush and painted, without any reference, naturally, as if the characters in the painting were right in front of my eyes. There were also many times when I was not in a good state. I think it must have been that I didn’t keep up with my cultivation. When I couldn’t start painting, I studied the Fa as much as I could. I found that the five-month creative process really went very smoothly.

In fact, my brain was not so pure when I was painting. All kinds of thoughts crowded into my head. This was also a process of cultivation. Sometimes voices praised me. When the desire for reputation arose, I negated it. My heart became more pure, and when the painting was almost complete, I felt the urge to cry. That feeling was joyful, but it was not for myself. I could feel Master’s compassionate protection during this process. Master did not give up on me, though I wanted to give up countless times. I could also feel that everything I do now is for the people around me, for all lives except me. I felt that the world in front of me became very broad. Looking back at the mountains that I couldn’t get over in the past, they were like rolling hills.

I broke through my notions by cultivating and did something that I had thought was impossible.

Once again, I am grateful for Master’s compassionate protection. I will definitely follow Master’s teachings on the path of cultivation in the future.

Heshi!