(Minghui.org) I’m 79 years old and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for more than 20 years. When I had conflicts with my husband I looked within and let go of my attachments. In the heart-wrenching process of improving my xinxing I truly felt that without the Fa’s guidance and Master’s protection, it would have been very hard to make it through to today. I’d like to tell you about some of my cultivation experiences.
My husband and I were classmates. I thought he was smart and upright, so I married him. My family lived in the city and we were relatively well-off, while his family came from the countryside. He had many brothers and his family was poor. After we married my husband often sent money to his family, which put a heavy burden on our household. I felt upset. He tried to dominate me and often spoke harshly and scolded me. I couldn’t accept it, and gradually resented him. Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, this resentment that accumulated over time, weighed on me like a mountain and was very difficult to eliminate.
After I began practicing cultivation, with constant Fa study I kept looking for the roots of my resentment, during the process of improving my xinxing. Master’s teachings gradually gave me insights and enlightenment. I realized I longed for a beautiful life—I wanted to enjoy happiness, romance, and be wealthy. My husband could not provide me with these things, so, influenced by these notions my resentment grew. However, as a Falun Dafa practitioner I understood that I came to this human world to endure hardships, eliminate karma, return to my true self, and assist Master in Fa-rectification. With continued Fa study Master’s teachings gradually dissolved my resentment. I realized these attachments were acquired notions, not my true self. My true self is pure and aligned with the characteristics of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. These acquired attachments must ultimately be cultivated away.
Many practitioners went to Beijing to appeal for Dafa when the persecution began in 1999. I went in 2000, and was arrested and taken to a detention center. A month later, my husband conspired with the police to have me sent to a psychiatric hospital. I was treated like a mental patient. I was tied to a bed and force-fed medicine, and drugs that damage the nervous system every day. This continued for a long time. I later realized that if I were not a practitioner who was protected by Master I would have become insane.
When another patient’s family came to visit, I borrowed their phone and called my husband, asking him to get me out. I knew that it was because of a family signature that I was placed there, and only with family consent could I be discharged. My husband exclaimed, “You just stay there!” and then hung up. I was filled with anger and hatred. I knew I couldn’t stay there—I had to get out to validate the Fa. But without my husband’s signature I had no way to leave. I didn’t know how to handle it. In desperation I wept and made a scene, thinking that if they didn’t let me out, I would rather die to show my resolve. The doctors, afraid of being held responsible if something happened, contacted my husband, and I was released. This experience only deepened my resentment toward him.
I went to Beijing again to validate the Fa. I was arrested and sent to the detention center again. My home was ransacked multiple times, and once again I was put in a psychiatric hospital by the local police. Because of this, my husband endured tremendous mental pressure, so at home he often cursed and insulted me. When I could not bear it I questioned him angrily. I shouted, “What kind of husband are you? How could you send your wife to a psychiatric hospital? Do you know how much I suffered there?” He made excuses and said he sent me there because he was afraid I would be sent to a labor camp. Thus, my resentment toward him only grew, piling up like a huge iceberg pressing down on me.
Master’s teachings dissolved the resentment in my heart. Through repeated Fa study, I finally enlightened to the fact that I owed him—perhaps in a previous life I harmed him badly, and debts must be repaid. This is heavenly principle so I should no longer resent my husband. Master’s teaching of “gained four ways in one shot” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) enlightened me and the iceberg of resentment gradually melted.
As my xinxing improved, my husband also changed. I was persecuted many times and he endured much fear and pressure because of it. When he faced the police his stance became righteous, and he no longer cooperated with them. Especially after I sued Jiang Zemin, former leader of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) for initiating the persecution of Falun Dafa. The police came to harass me, and he spoke up with a strong sense of justice, saying, “My wife hasn’t committed any crime. What she’s doing is right!” Later he went online, found the legal documents showing that Falun Dafa is not a cult, along with relevant constitutional laws, and provided them for me to download. He said, “If the police come again, just use the law to reason with them.”
My husband suffered from heart disease, diabetes, and other illnesses. I took meticulous care of him in accordance with the standards of a cultivator. He acknowledged that Falun Dafa is good and also quit the CCP’s organizations. He never interfered with me when I studied the Fa, did the exercises, or clarified the truth. While I was out one day he fell and was unable to get up for a long time, yet he did not blame me. Although he occasionally fell, he was never injured. Despite having many illnesses, he was never in pain. I knew Master was protecting him, because he made the right choice and thus received blessings.
During the time when he was critically ill he even listened to one lecture of Zhuan Falun. He recited, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” before he passed away. I know he will have a good future, and I felt gratified!
My husband spent most of his life accompanying me, helping me walk the path of cultivation. I am grateful for his companionship, and deeply thankful for Master’s compassionate salvation!