(Minghui.org) Today, I would like to share about the principle of Forbearance and the understanding I have enlightened to in the course of my cultivation in Falun Dafa (also known as Falun Gong).
Many people may think that it is very difficult to practice Forbearance because it feels almost impossible to do so in the face of being deeply wronged, or when one’s heart is filled with anger, grievances, hatred, and so on. How can anyone feel at ease in such situations?
I shared a similar view before I took up the practice of Falun Dafa, but gradually this changed as I kept rectifying myself through cultivation.
One incident left a deep impression on me. When my father passed away, friends and relatives of my family members offered condolence money, which was clearly marked so that the money could be given to each designated person afterwards.
However, when the condolence money was being sorted through, my elder brother claimed some of mine. I felt very angry about this, but didn’t argue with him at the time.
When I got home, I burst out crying, thinking my elder brother was treating me terribly unfairly. I could not forgive him for a number of years.
After our father passed away, my elder brother and younger brother said they would take care of our mother, so they took it upon themselves to divide up our parents’ property between the two of them.
This really upset me and my sisters, but we didn’t argue with them, thinking at least our elder brother was now caring for our mother in his home.
However, as our mother became elderly a decade later, he then decided he did not want to look after her anymore, and our mother had nowhere to live. We sisters were very angry about this—since he took possession of our parents’ property, how could he refuse to support and care for our mother in her old age?
By then, I had already started practicing Falun Dafa and understood the true meaning of life. I had learned to conduct myself according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and let go of the grievances I felt towards my elder brother, so I no longer held a grudge against him.
It was such a wonderful feeling after I let go of all those things. I felt a sense of relief and lightness, as if my heart had suddenly opened up. The power of Dafa is so miraculous, and being tolerant and kind is so wonderful! I decided that I would share my experience with the others.
When we sisters got together, I didn’t vent grievances with them like in the past, but asked them to forgive our elder brother, and suggested we take on the responsibility of caring for our mother together.
They were quite touched by how I had changed since starting to practice Falun Dafa, and decided to also forgive our elder brother and not hold his actions against him.
Later, we had a discussion about how to take care of our mother. We decided to each contribute money to support her. Our elder brother also offered his share. There were no disputes, and our mother was very content with the situation.
Practicing Forbearance is not limited to letting go of grievances, but also offering people freedom from danger at this most critical time in history. I treat my elder brother the same way I would any sentient being.
I went to clarify the truth to him and asked him to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) organizations to guarantee a safe future. He was very happy to do so and thanked me for the pseudonym I gave him. I also told him that I had made many mistakes with how I treated our mother in the past, but had amended myself in Dafa cultivation and handle everything better now.
To my surprise, my elder brother said, “No, all my sisters have done well.” I was quite touched by what he said, and realized that my elder brother is also quite a kindhearted person.
Later, when I was being persecuted by the CCP for my faith in Dafa, my elder brother also contributed money to help, as did my sisters. From my heart, I wish him a bright future.
When dealing with some issues in my parents-in-law’s family, my child’s uncle by marriage misunderstood me, and cursed me to others behind my back, saying that he would never allow me to step into his house.
When I went back to my hometown, other people told me not to take any notice of him or visit him to avoid any trouble.
“Don’t worry,” I replied. “I’m a Falun Dafa practitioner now, I’ve learned to be tolerant and I won’t get angry. Besides, I’m back in my hometown, it is only right for me to pay him a visit.”
Seeing that they could not stop me, they told me to be careful, and even sent someone to go with me, just in case there was any trouble.
I bought some presents and went to see him. It turned out to be a very pleasant visit, filled with friendliness as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. I also gave him a truth-clarification CD before I left.
Other relatives found it hard to believe, as they were all worried about what might happen.
All this demonstrated the wonderfulness of Falun Dafa. Since then, we have enjoyed a very pleasant and harmonious relationship.
Forbearance Touched the Hearts of Inmates in a Labor Camp
One day, while I was illegally detained at a forced labor camp for my faith in Falun Dafa, an inmate in the workshop started yelling at me in front of everyone for no reason, saying what I was doing was wrong. She spoke in a very loud and abusive manner.
Having learned to practice Forbearance in Dafa, I stayed very calm and didn’t say anything.
The other inmates said among themselves, “Look, she is so tolerant. This is truly practicing cultivation.”
Once again, I experienced the wonderfulness of Forbearance. The inmates witnessed the noble character of a Dafa practitioner and the goodness of Falun Dafa.
Later, I got on very well with the inmate who verbally abused me.
Dissolving Gaps Through Tolerance and Understanding
Recently, while trying to help someone, due to some differences in our ways of thinking, she got very angry and yelled at me before leaving.
I looked within immediately to check if I had done something wrong. I found that I still had a tendency to look down on others which is what upset her—I was the one who was wrong. I must let go of this attachment and learn to be more tolerant and understanding towards others.
After I got home, I studied Zhuan Falun, the main text of Dafa, in which Master said,
“..., when someone swears at you among everyday people, you do not say a word and feel very calm; or when someone throws a fist at you, you do not say a word and let it go with a smile.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I thought to myself: “Well, she didn’t hit me or swear at me, but just said some things that upset me.” Even though I didn’t say anything, I still felt a bit disturbed inside, which showed that I failed to endure with grace. I must learn from this lesson, and when others criticize me, I must remain unmoved and tolerant.
A few days later, I went to see her and said, “I’m here to bridge the gap between us.” We had a friendly chat, but she criticized me again with some upsetting words. I remembered Master’s teaching, and didn’t react, staying calm and peaceful.
I had rectified myself as a cultivator, but still hoped she could change for the better. As I had this thought, suddenly I realized that practicing Forbearance is not limited to staying calm and composed when being treated unfairly, but also having the kindness to help others improve at the same time.
I have truly experienced the power and wonderfulness of Compassion and Forbearance.