(Minghui.org) I was deeply inspired by the article, “Our Surroundings Reflect Our Cultivation State”, published on Minghui.org. I would like to share my insights with you.

The author wrote, “For some time now, I’ve had clusters of warts on my neck, some bumps in my mouth, and I often feel lightheaded. I’ve experienced many abnormalities and although I’ve looked inward, I still feel that I haven’t pinpointed the root of the problem. Today it suddenly dawned on me: aren’t these bumps signs of unevenness? And isn’t dizziness just a sign of physical imbalance? So don’t these physical irregularities reflect the lack of peace and balance within my heart?”

I’ve had a similar issue. While I lived away from home last year I shared a room with my niece. She happened to notice a lump near my right breast; it felt roughly the size of a duck egg and I could move it. Since I had been living alone for years, my children hadn’t noticed it. Because it caused neither pain nor itching and was hard to reach while bathing, I was unaware of its existence.

I was shocked when I learned about it, feeling certain that something must be amiss in my cultivation. Yet, despite searching within myself, not only did the lump fail to disappear, but I also discovered another lump, about the size of a quail egg, deep in the groin area of my left thigh. Like the first one, it was not painful. I could not feel it while lying down or standing, but only when sitting.

Other practitioners recently pointed out that my upper body tended to tilt slightly to the right when I studied the Fa, sent righteous thoughts, or walked. I sometimes felt dizzy and experienced various other abnormal symptoms. Although I looked inward extensively, I hadn’t identifies the root cause of the problem.

After reading that sharing experience article, I gained a new understanding. Didn’t the abnormal, illusory manifestations I was experiencing actually reflect a lack of equanimity and imbalance within my own heart? I began to look inward and discovered feelings of resentment and imbalance regarding my sisters and my daughter-in-law.

There are six of us sisters; four of my younger sisters practice Falun Dafa, and we live in different cities. I gave them the Dafa informational materials they use, and what they read, listen to, and watch. I send these to them regularly. I began to notice that some of my sisters were not doing the three things well and they didn’t cultivate diligently. I felt they were letting me down after all the effort I put in for them; consequently, I sometimes harbored feelings of resentment and imbalance.

Through Fa-study and the reading other practitioners’ experience-sharing articles, I realized that Master Li has graciously extended time for us to cultivate. I merely did a tiny bit of what I was supposed to do, so why did I feel resentful or unbalanced? Furthermore, how well a practitioner cultivates cannot be judged by their outward appearance or behavior.

My resentful and unbalanced mindset is extreme; it is a manifestation of attachment to self and falls short of the standards required of a Falun Dafa practitioner.

I have two married sons who live in the same city as I do. On the surface, their lives appear to be going quite well. My sons, my daughters-in-law, and I all work for government agencies and enjoy benefits corresponding to division-level or section-level ranks. However, due to issues regarding personal gain, there is friction between my two daughters-in-law, and they frequently voice their grievances about each other to me. The eldest, in particular, sometimes speaks to me behind her husband’s back. She claims that her brother-in-law and his family are “shrewd”, suggesting that they know how to work the system, and never lose out, implying that they are securing more benefits.

I sometimes respond by saying, “Daughters-in-law come from outside the family, but my sons are my own flesh and blood; I treat them all equally.” Yet, my eldest daughter-in-law believes that because she gave birth to a boy, she is entitled to more benefits, and she ocassionally mentions this. Hearing such unpleasant remarks leaves me feeling deeply unsettled. If I were to argue with her, I would fail to practice the forbearance expected of a cultivator. If I choose not to argue, I could only endure it with tears, leaving me with a profound sense of resentment and imbalance.

I live frugally and do not ask family members for a single penny. Aside from keeping a small portion of my wages for myself, I even help them pay their mortgage every month. So, I find my eldest daughter-in-law’s attitude toward me baffling. As someone who cares deeply about saving face, I’ve hardly spoken of this to anyone, not even my two sons or other practitioners—instead I’ve kept it all bottled up inside.

I tried to counsel myself using the principles of the Fa, and reminded myself that my daughter-in-law is offering me opportunities to ascend to higher realms, helping me cultivate greater compassion and forbearance. Yet, whenever ordinary human thoughts, sentiment, and attachments surface, I still felt a sense of grievance and imbalance.

I have come to realize that a cultivator must first avoid dwelling on others’ faults. We should be forgiving and strive to understand things from others’ perspectives. Furthermore, when faced with conflicts, a cultivator should look inward, recognizing that the other person is actually helping me cultivate.

As a cultivator I knew that I needed to cultivate compassion and forbearance, but I often had the forbearance of an everyday person. While I might not have outwardly displayed my emotions, I experienced considerable inner turmoil. I realize now that I must put more effort into cultivating compassion and forbearance, that is, I need to elevate my xinxing. I must go beyond merely overlooking others’ faults and I should be able to disregard their malicious behavior toward me.

I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998 and I’m now 82 years old. Although I never met Master in person, throughout my cultivation journey, I have constantly experienced his compassionate strengthening, protection, and guidance. Looking back, the peaceful and happy life I enjoy today is entirely due to the good fortune of having embarked on the path of Dafa cultivation. Without the guidance of the Fa I don’t know what my life would be like now. I might well be struggling painfully amidst conflicts and trapped in family tribulations, unable to free myself.

I am deeply grateful to Master for rescuing me from a sea of suffering and allowing me to obtain this great Fa! I now understand that the true purpose of human existence is to return to one’s original, true self, and that all grievances and resentments can be resolved through the Fa.

I have benefited immensely from studying the Fa and reading or listening to the sharing articles of other practitioners. Each practitioner’s cultivation insights serve as a valuable reference for me. I am grateful to the Minghui website for providing a platform where we can share experiences with fellow practitioners around the world.

The above reflects my recent cultivation insights. If anything falls short of the Fa’s principles, I ask fellow practitioners to kindly point this out.