(Minghui.org) I consistently stood out in middle school as a top performer. I was favored by my teachers and envied by my classmates. With this daily praise, my attachments to fame, showing off, and jealousy increasingly grew.
During my first and second years of middle school, I took first place in the entire grade on every major exam. This led me to develop a strong attachment to being number one, and consequently an intense fear of losing that title.
In my third year of middle school, a dozen students were transferred to my class from other schools. I felt great pressure and worried that they would take over my place, so I was hostile toward them, but the conflict was not initially obvious. In the second half of the third year, my ranking was number two in the grade. I could not accept it, though I was only a few points below number one. My perfect academic ranking had been broken by another student.
I searched desperately with indignation for any justification I could find—anything that would spare me from acknowledging the legitimacy of the other student’s success. I could neither eat nor sleep well for days, and the frustration even followed me into my dreams. I thought that I had disappointed my teachers, and I felt an overwhelming psychological burden. Although I continued to study diligently each day, this state ultimately held me back during the first mock exam, and my ranking slipped once again, to fourth place.
I was in deep anguish and thought to seek answers in the Fa. I started studying the Fa and reflecting on my mindset. I realized that anguish was due to jealousy, and attachment to fame and personal interest. I finally started to work on my attachments. I realized I should admit that others were better and applaud them, and should not be attached to my ranking. So I tried to change myself.
It was not easy initially. Every time I saw or thought of the person who made me lose first place, my heart tightened and I felt resentful. But thinking of the principles from Master’s teachings, I tried hard to let go of attachments. I could talk about questions with the person and even became friends with them. Before the second mock exam, I easily felt composed when facing those before me in the ranking. I did not feel uneasy but felt happy for them getting a good score. My score then ranked number two in the second mock exam.
I was calm in my heart, but there was still slight jealousy. I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I applauded sincerely at the school’s commendation ceremony.
After letting go of my attachments, I felt an incredible sense of lightness. Freed from the heavy psychological burden of chasing fame and personal gain, my studies suddenly became effortless. As my cultivation deepened, my academic performance rose sharply, and my mind grew clearer and more focused. In the end, I unexpectedly achieved outstanding results on my high school entrance exams—and the top ranking returned to me once again.
My heart was profoundly calm by that time, free of excessive excitement, and certainly without any sense of vindictive satisfaction at reclaiming first place. In that moment, a sudden realization came to me. It was as if Master had arranged this entire experience like a play—designed specifically to help me let go of my attachments. Once the attachments are truly gone, what was lost can often return in the most unexpected ways.
Eliminating the Attachment to Comfort
Physical education (PE), especially long-distance running, is my weakness. I was only on the brink of even passing the class every time. This led to me to have lack of confidence in PE. I started to dislike it in the third year of middle school.
I had to get serious about training in order to prepare for the PE test for high school entrance, but my attachments to comfort and laziness drove me in the opposite direction. I was afraid of running because I disliked tiredness. During and after running, the breathing difficulties and overwhelming exhaustion I experienced left me with a deep fear of running. Over time, the fear grew so intense that on days with a scheduled PE class, I could barely focus on my other lessons. I remained gripped by an inner anxiety—dreading the possibility that I might have to run—until the PE class for that day had finally passed. The PE teacher had explained the importance of the PE test. I was helpless and had to run in PE class, making only a little progress.
All my other scores were very good, except for PE, which hovered at just a passing grade level. When I heard that the school had arranged to have a special running training session each morning for two months, I was devastated and did not like it, but I needed the PE score.
I calmed down and sought answers in the Fa. Dafa is like a mirror and reflected my attachments. I recognized my laziness, my attachment to comfort, and my fear of hardship, and I became determined to overcome them. It was incredibly difficult at first. I rushed to school before 7 a.m. every morning. I first ran 1,000 meters (1,094 yards), then returned to the classroom to eat bread for breakfast. The school was not particularly strict about monitoring attendance for running sessions; a simple sign-in sheet was posted for students to mark their names. As time went on, it became common for students to show up late, sign in for others, or cut their runs short.
I thought that since I was a Dafa practitioner I should follow the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I should run the full course and not cheat. With this simple thinking, I persevered through those two months of morning running. Ultimately, my running performance improved dramatically—rising from barely passing to nearly achieving a perfect score, a transformation that took countless hours of effort. In my PE exam, I earned results far beyond anything I had ever imagined. Sustained by the unwavering resolve that Dafa has instilled in me, I finally saw my wishes fulfilled.
Seeking Answers in the Fa
I was admitted to a good high school, which brought together top students from many different places, and the class I was in was one of its elite sections. I felt a tremendous amount of internal pressure as I worried that others might look down on me if my grades weren’t as strong as theirs. The new school, environment, and classmates made me feel stressed. The busy schedule and others’ excellence made me anxious.
I quickly sought answers in the Fa and asked Master in my mind what I should do. The three characters: Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, appeared in my mind. I took action the next day. For example, I had an attachment to reputation and did not like to ask others questions, as I was afraid of being thought of as not smart. But when I asked others with a friendly attitude, I was not looked down upon. Instead, I gained friendship and knowledge. During school activities, I developed closer relationships with my classmates and demonstrated my kindness.
I thought of Dafa and reflected on my demeanor during the day. I would think about whether there was any trouble, what led to it, what attachment I had, and how to let it go. I would try hard to let it go the next day. This was perfecting myself in Dafa, and I could get rid of more attachments to become a better person. Along with letting go of attachments, I experienced what inner calmness is. I also recited “On Dafa” during recess. This gave me inner calmness and helped me avoid bad thoughts. In this way, my high school life became normal.
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Category: Improving Oneself
