(Minghui.org) I feel so fortunate to have started practicing Falun Dafa in the spring of 1996. Three years later, Jiang Zemin, then head of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), launched the persecution against the practice. Falun Dafa’s founder, Master Li, was slandered, and the public was deceived by the Party’s propaganda. As a practitioner, I felt it was my responsibility to let people know the truth about Dafa and help Master save sentient beings.
I would like to share my experiences of being persecuted and held in a brainwashing center. I used the wisdom I'd gained from practicing Falun Dafa to clarify the truth. This is my testimony to Master’s immense compassion and Dafa’s mighty power.
Soon after the persecution of Falun Dafa began in July 1999, a number of brainwashing centers were set up in my city. Practitioners were detained and pressured to stop practicing. I was arrested and taken to one of these facilities.
I was put in the fourth room from the stairway in the west wing. Although I did not eat or drink any water that day, I didn’t feel hungry or thirsty. The room was dim and barren—there were only two beds made out of metal pipes. I sat down on one. The pad on the bed was so old and dirty that I couldn’t tell what it was at first. Thick dust covered the floor and window sills. The window was barred, and there was a spittoon by the door. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself.
I noticed a large lotus flower was carved into the wall, with three big characters for Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance above it. I assumed a Falun Dafa practitioner drew it, and I could tell the practitioner was an exceptional artist. I admired it and thought, “What a beautiful piece of artwork. It must have been done with the help of the divine.”
Inspired, I quickly got off the bed and looked around the room. Sure enough, there was a small nail stuck in the corner of the windowsill. Using the nail, I carefully added, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good. Falun Dafa is a righteous Fa,” above the lotus flower. The piece now seemed complete, and it was a magnificent sight to behold. I stared at it and was fully immersed in the moment.
My surroundings and circumstances no longer mattered. I understood that I would never be lonely as long as I have Master and the Fa in my heart. I sat down and began sending righteous thoughts. The frigid winter air, my exhaustion, and the noise seemed distant. I was enveloped by a powerful and benevolent energy, and it was such a wonderful feeling. I thanked Master for watching over and strengthening me.
Someone kicked the door open the next morning. “Get up and wash up,” a woman shouted. I walked out of the room and saw her standing in the hallway, with her hands crossed behind her back. I didn’t have a towel or soap, so I splashed water over my face a couple of times.
When I was about to go back to the room, she shouted, “You people! You keep talking about ‘saving people.’ Look where it’s gotten you. You got yourself into this. You keep talking about gods and Buddhas. Where is your God? Why isn’t he here to save you? I want to see if there is truly a God. Why don’t you just be realistic!”
As soon as I entered the room, the door was slammed shut behind me. I didn’t let it get to me. I'd never met this woman before. I realized her hostility was the result of the CCP’s lies that slander and smear Falun Dafa. I am a practitioner, and Master doesn’t acknowledge the persecution. But since I was there, what I could do was to expose the CCP’s lies and help her see the truth. I wished to use the kindness I'd cultivated while practicing Falun Dafa to eliminate her misunderstandings and prejudices.
When the door opened again, the woman stood about six feet away with her back turned to me. I walked up to her and said, “I am sorry.” She turned around and looked confused. I explained, “Please don’t think negatively of Dafa. Falun Dafa is good. There’s nothing wrong with the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. My fellow practitioners and I are cultivators, but we still make mistakes. Just like students taking a test, no matter how well the teacher taught the material, some do well on the test, and some do poorly. It doesn’t mean the teacher doesn’t teach well.” I looked her in the eyes and smiled.
Her expression softened. She stared at me for a bit and then asked what I meant. I responded, “Please remember ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.’” I told her about some of my cultivation experiences and clarified the truth about the persecution. I reminded her that our Chinese ancestors believed that good deeds are rewarded, but doing bad deeds has consequences.
She was interested in the stories I told her and enjoyed chatting with me. We became good friends. She told me about her family conflicts, and I offered her my honest opinion. She didn’t mind when I pointed out her shortcomings and said, “Honest advice is hard to swallow, but I know it’s for my own good. I appreciate you telling me this. I really enjoy your company. I’ve benefited greatly from our conversations.”
She looked rather pensive one day and told me, “This job depresses me. I am torn. Although I’m free to come and go, my mind is not free. This job provides an income, but I have to constantly say and do things against my conscience. I really envy you. Although you’re detained here and can’t leave this room, your mind is free, and you can express your true feelings. I wish I could be like you.” She stopped locking the door to my room, and I was able to walk up and down the hallway whenever I wanted.
Three practitioners were held in a room on the east side of mine. One morning, I heard some heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and walking past my room. Then someone opened the door to the first room. The head of the brainwashing center was talking. His voice got louder until it was booming in the hallway, yelling and swearing. A few others chimed in once in a while, shouting aggressively.
The turmoil died down briefly before the door to the second room was opened. The head of the brainwashing center called out the practitioner by his name and asked, “Do you still practice [Falun Dafa]? The CCP pays your salary, yet you’re anti-Party!” He continued yelling and swearing.
I sat on the bed and sent righteous thoughts. The footsteps approached, and someone opened the door to my room. Four people, including the head of the brainwashing center, stood in the doorway. Before they could say anything, I quickly got off the bed and walked up to them. “Please come in!” I smiled as I invited them in.
The brainwashing center head stared at me for about 10 seconds and said, “You act as if this is your home.” He came in and saw the lotus flower and the characters on the wall. “So you want to ride on that lotus flower and go to heaven?” he asked.
I said, “I never said I was going to heaven riding on that lotus flower. But, I do like lotus flowers. Even though they rise up from mud, they are clean and pure. I want to cultivate and improve myself by living up to Falun Dafa’s standards of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I want to be a good person, a better person, a person that rises beyond this realm of secular and worldly things.”
He nodded, saying, “Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance sound like good principles. Doing the exercises to improve your health is not a bad thing.”
I was happy to hear that, and I said, “I didn’t expect you to be so reasonable. Since that’s the case, how about you let me go home?”
I paused and then said, “But I know what we don’t agree on.” He asked what it was. I said, “Heaven will eliminate the Chinese Communist Party.”
“Yes,” he responded, giving me a stern look. “That’s what you Falun Dafa practitioners claim.”
I told him, “Not Falun Dafa... Heaven is going to eliminate the CCP. The Party launched so many political movements and killed over 80 million innocent Chinese people—the land owners, the businessmen, intellectuals, the patriotic students who protested in Beijing in 1989—they were China’s elite. Now the regime is persecuting Falun Dafa practitioners for cultivating Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. Sincerity, kindness, tolerance, and patience are our Chinese people’s fundamental values that were passed down for generations. These values are what keep us going as a nation and should be cherished. Yet the CCP forbids people to practice them, which has led to widespread corruption and degradation. All of us are victims. If we let it go on like this, we’re essentially digging our own graves.”
“Well, the Party pays my salary,” he responded, “so I have to uphold its policies.”
I shook my head and said, “The CCP doesn’t produce any goods or do anything that generates money. Where does its money come from? It lives off us taxpayers. We fund the entire apparatus of the government and the Party officials’ salaries. What you possess is not a gift from the CCP but earned with the hard work that you put into your job, plus virtues that you and your ancestors have accumulated over many generations and lifetimes. Whomever you work for, they have to compensate you accordingly. If you worked for a private company, you may even be paid more than you are now and have a higher position.”
He thought about it and then asked what it meant to quit the CCP. I said, “If I say the word ‘corruption,’ who comes to mind first?” He became defensive, saying that there were also good people in the Party. I nodded. “That’s why we try to help these people separate themselves from the Party. Those who are truly bad can no longer be saved. Just like a basket of apples. If only a few of them were bad, we’d pick them out and throw them away. But if most of them were bad, we’d pick out the good ones and throw the rest away along with the basket. People always say, ‘One should not go against God’s will. If one follows the course of nature, one will prosper; if one goes against it, one will perish.”
He stood up and said, “Very well. I’m done here.” I also stood up and saw them out.
The head of the brainwashing center took my advice and released a practitioner who had serious sickness karma.
Division head Ding stood near me one day before we headed to lunch. As soon as I opened my mouth to say something, he waved me off, saying, “Don’t start. I don’t want to listen to you talking about Falun Dafa.” I quietly chuckled, but I didn’t say anything.
After a while, he came over to me and said, “Just look at yourselves. All you want to talk about is ‘Falun Dafa is good’ and ‘Quit the CCP.’ So annoying. People at your workplace must all try to avoid you, right? If you want to practice Falun Dafa, then do it. Why do you have to be anti-Party and try to bring down the CCP?” I didn’t say anything.
When I returned from the bathroom one morning, I saw the door to the first room by the stairway was open. A foul stench filled the air. Ding and two guards were standing a little distance away, covering their noses and cursing.
I knew a female practitioner had been on a hunger strike and was force-fed every other day. The door to this room had always been locked, and no one knew what was going on in there or how she was doing. I looked in. There was a worn-out mattress on the floor. The practitioner, disheveled and unkempt, was lying on the mattress next to a pile of her own vomit.
I took a deep breath, walked over to Ding, and said, “I’ll clean it up and change her clothes.”
“Her family never brought a change of clothes,” he sneered. I told him that I had clean clothes she could use. He said, “It’s pretty disgusting. Are you sure you don’t mind?” I smiled and reassured him that I didn’t mind. I got a set of clean clothes from my room and asked Ding and the guards to give us some privacy.
The practitioner was lying down facing the wall. I bent over, gently put my hand on her shoulder, and said, “Hi.” She slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. I asked, “Are you okay? Is it okay to help you change into clean clothes?” She nodded. I helped her up. She hadn’t been allowed to use the bathroom, and the mattress was soaked with urine and vomit.
After I changed her clothes, I got a mop from the bathroom and cleaned the floor. Ding and the two guards came to check on us and watched me comb her hair. She had long hair, and it was tangled. I didn’t have a comb, so I used my fingers and, little by little, worked my way from top to bottom. I wiped her face clean with a wet towel and rolled up her dirty clothes so I could wash them. In less than an hour, the mess in the room was gone, and everyone seemed to relax and was in a better mood. Ding and the guards even smiled at us.
Ding said, “Why are you so nice? Every gesture and every move you make seems genuine and kind. A kindhearted person is like gold. Wherever she is, she will shine.”
I told him, “Well said. The older generation all know that when Mao Zedong was in power, he launched several political movements, including the Three-Anti, the Five-Anti, the Anti-Rightist campaigns, and the Cultural Revolution. Millions of innocent Chinese people were killed, and Mao led China in a direction that is against the will of Heaven.
“Now, the CCP launched a persecution against a group of cultivators who just want to be good. By doing so much evil, the regime is destroying itself, and Heaven will eliminate it. This is how the universe works. The CCP is not China. Without the Party, China is still China. Chinese people are intelligent and hard-working, and are fully capable of producing wealth and providing food, clothing, and shelter for ourselves, and we wouldn’t have the burden of sustaining those corrupt officials.”
He listened quietly and then said, “I never thought about it that way.”
I continued, “Now, a little bit about myself. Contrary to what you said, people at my workplace didn’t avoid me. They actually respected and liked me. My co-workers invited me to accompany them on their trips, and said I was pleasant and fun to be around. They knew there wouldn’t be any conflicts while I was there, so the trip wouldn’t be ruined.”
Ding said, “I believe you.”
“But I wasn’t always a likable person,” I told him. “Not until I began practicing Falun Dafa. I used to be very competitive, and I had to get the upper hand in everything. I was not modest, and I did not go with the flow. I didn’t do any house chores at home, and I was short-tempered with my family. I blew up for no reason. My husband and my daughter were afraid of me and avoided me.
“Everything changed when I began practicing Falun Dafa in the spring of 1996. Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance awakened my true nature. I made up my mind to cultivate. I held myself to Dafa’s high standards and strove to be an honest, kind, and tolerant person—a good person. Through cultivation, I found inner peace, and my professional and personal relationships improved. My body was healthy and I was calm and patient. I now take care of almost all of our house chores.
“After having witnessed my 180-degree transformation, my husband and my daughter became supportive of my cultivation. Even my mother-in-law, who never set foot in my home, said that I’m now a different person after I began practicing Falun Dafa. I take good care of my family and the household, and I’m respectful to the elders. She said I’m always happy and that Dafa is amazing.”
Ding said, “Such a good practice! Why did Jiang Zemin have to persecute it? What really happened on Tiananmen Square?”
I explained that the persecution had no legal basis and the Tiananmen Square self-immolation was staged to mislead the public and justify the suppression. I said, “It’s okay to go one way or the other in small matters, but when it comes to choosing between good and evil, we should side with the righteous and not aid those who do evil.”
Ding no longer cursed and brought in an extra mattress. Whenever he was on duty, he had the guards change the mattress for the practitioner who was on hunger strike, so the dirty one could air out and dry. He liked to visit and chat with me and said, “You know so much about science and history. I’ve learned so much from you.”
“I actually didn’t go very far in school,” I said. “Practicing Falun Dafa gave me wisdom.” He tried to give me as much freedom as he could.
Ding told me, “You actually call all the shots here. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ‘transform’ you—instead you’ve transformed me.”
I said, “That’s because everything I say is true and I am genuinely looking out for your best interest.”
He nodded and said, “I can tell.” He smiled and gave me a thumbs up, “I admire you. Falun Dafa is remarkable.”
Guard Bian came to my room one evening and said, “Go downstairs. Someone is here to see you.” I followed him to the duty room. There were two men who looked like they were in their 30s, and they were well-dressed.
I greeted them politely, and I smiled at them. They seemed surprised by my friendliness and ease. One of them said, “You don’t look like a stupid person. The government banned Falun Dafa. Why are you so stubborn? You left your respectable and well-paid job to suffer here! What for? We work for the government and don’t get paid as much as you do. Why are you against the CCP?”
I told them, “Actually, Dafa cultivators don’t have enemies, and we are not against anyone. I just want to follow my conscience. I love my job, my co-workers, my friends and my family, but I can’t go against my conscience and slander Falun Dafa, which I revere deeply. It’s not that I don’t want my job. The management was pressured by their higher-ups to fire me.”
The other man said, “You could easily say you no longer practice, and it will all be resolved.”
I shook my head. “I can’t do that. Being kind and honest is the way to be. I can’t go against my conscience for short-term relief. I don’t want to mislead people who don’t know the truth about Dafa. That is not being responsible, not to others and not to myself. Not to mention that cultivation is such a serious matter. Dafa taught me to be a good person by adhering to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. My goal is to continuously improve myself and elevate my morals. This not only benefits me, physically and mentally, but my being compassionate also benefits and brings joy to the people around me.
“From a broader point of view, freedom of belief is a god-given right, and is protected by the Constitution. Articles 35 and 36 of the Chinese Constitution guarantee citizens' freedom of belief. This ongoing persecution was started by the former CCP head, who abused his power. Overriding the law with power is breaking the law. Countless innocent citizens like me have been targeted and persecuted for our belief. We lost our jobs, freedom, and some even lost their lives. None of this should have happened.
“You asked me what I am doing this for. I actually haven’t thought about what’s in it for me. But I’ll tell you this. I have chosen this path, so I’m going to stick with it. Yes, I am faced with adversity at the moment, but my heart is content. In this world, true happiness does not come from power or money, but is rooted in righteous belief—the belief in Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.
“I study the precious book Zhuan Falun every day. This Fa is so profound that it encompasses all truths of the universe and all things that have ever existed. The words in the book reveal heavenly secrets and embody immeasurable compassion. Such a wonderful Fa was first introduced to the public in our country and has helped so many people regain their health and elevate their morals. As human beings, we innately want to be good. When people are more honest, kind, and patient, their personal relations become more harmonious, which in turn brings stability to society. It benefited the public and the country in so many ways. Falun Dafa should be the pride of our nation and cherished by each and every one of us.
“Faced with such injustice, I have no complaint or regret. I don’t harbor resentment or hatred. All I have is compassion and perseverance. I am extremely fortunate to have cultivated in Falun Dafa. People often say, ‘A kind person is abused by others but not by Heaven; an evil person is feared by others but not by Heaven.’ This persecution of innocent people with righteous belief will bring about natural disasters and man-made misfortunes. It will not last long. If you don’t believe me, you’re welcome to wait and see.”
In the end, I told them, “I’ve said so much, but I am not sure if you understood. Treating people with kindness and sincerity is my principle. I hope you choose wisely between good and evil and choose responsibly, for yourselves and your families. Only by holding on to goodness can you have a good future. Please remember ‘Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance is good.’”
As I was finishing, Bian jumped in, saying, “You’re a modern heroine. If you keep talking, I’ll take up Falun Dafa.”
Bian came to me the next morning and said, “I’ll practice Falun Dafa when Master Li returns to China.”
The day I was released from the brainwashing center, Ding was on duty. He was happy for me and said, “We all like you and think highly of you. You are a good person. Go home. You don’t belong here. I hope our paths cross again.” He gave me a big smile and a thumbs-up.
Most of the staff members at the brainwashing center learned the truth about Dafa and chose to quit the CCP and its youth organizations.