(Minghui.org) I’ve always been an introverted person. I easily became nervous and I preferred to be alone. After I began cultivating, I gradually changed my human notions and developed new realizations about the world and the universe. I realized Master is in charge of my future so I no longer needed to worry about things.
I always listened to pop music, folk songs, and rock music. Now I realize that all of these involve qing and as a practitioner I should stop being attached to these feelings. So when the lyrics or melodies came to mind, I suppressed them. Instead, I recited “Falun Dafa is good. Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” and the words for sending forth righteous thoughts, hoping to remove the things that were not part of the real me, and to clean up my space.
I enjoyed reading modern short articles, poems from the Tang Dynasty, and lyrics from the music of the Song Dynasty. I gradually realized that these literary works contained many factors associated with the authors’ attachments and qing. Reading them often reinforced these attachments in me. Now I feel that unless it is work-related, I need to pay less attention to such things and focus more on my cultivation.
Removing Resentment
I gradually realized that I still had a strong attachment to resentment. For example, I resented that my wife does not understand me or support my cultivation, that my child doesn’t listen to me or work hard, and that my relative, who is also a practitioner, is not diligent. The relative does not do the three things but practices Falun Dafa to eliminate illnesses and become healthy.
From a human perspective, these people caused me trouble and made me uncomfortable. But from a cultivation perspective we should look inward when problems surface. These troubles occurred to help expose my human attachments.
Would a Buddha or divine being feel resentful or be disturbed by an ordinary person? I don’t think so. Then my resentment must come from the attachments I haven’t removed. I need to look inward. I need to dig out the factors that I am attached to and eliminate them. Practitioners should be benevolent and help Master save people. We should be kind, rather than resent people because of our human attachments.
Letting Go of My Attachment to International Affairs
International and national situations are constantly changing. One major event follows another, and its hard to keep up. I was dedicated to watching all kinds of news by circumventing China’s internet censorship, and I wasted a lot of time. A relative who practices Falun Dafa asked me, “Why do you spend so much time studying these things? They’re not part of cultivation.” I gradually realized that Master was using her to give me a hint. But my attachments were very strong, and I was unable to overcome my interest in current affairs.
I now understand that there must be a reason countries fight each other. As a cultivator, one cannot simply judge using humans’ standards of right and wrong. Master said, “The three things are what Dafa disciples currently need to do well.” (“Clarification,” Essentials of Diligent Progress III). This means that the situation changes, and fights, trade deals, or tariff wars have nothing to do with cultivators. As a practitioner, one must work hard to cultivate oneself well and help Master save people.
As for my interest in international and domestic affairs, I looked inward and found that they actually hid my attachment to showing off and my lack of attention to cultivating my speech.
Because of my attachment to showing off I often discussed current hot topics and argued with others about them. I now realize that this was showing off. I felt that if I read commentaries from overseas media I had more information. Now I realize that such things have nothing to do with cultivation. I need to get rid of my attachment to showing off and pay attention to cultivating my speech.
Trusting Master and Dafa, and Passing Tribulations
I had some tribulations when I talked to people about Falun Dafa. With Master’s help, I stumbled through. Below are some examples.
I talked to an elderly man in a village about Falun Dafa. He sat on the step, and I crouched in front of him. When I showed him a pamphlet, a man pressed on my shoulders from behind and then twisted my arms behind my back. He shouted, “What are you doing here? Are you here again, trying to con us out of money?” The old man told him I hadn’t asked for money and that the pamphlet was free.
This caught me by surprise, and I didn’t know what was going on. Later, I realized the man must be the old man’s relative and he was looking out for him. He was strong, in his 30s, with short hair, and looked a bit menacing.
He took the pamphlet and saw it was about Falun Dafa. He shouted that he would take me to the police station. He grabbed the key from my electric bike. The old man urged him to stop and said I was kind and I hadn’t asked for money. The man did not listen and told a neighbor to call the police. However, the neighbor pretended not to hear and kept on working. Perhaps he knew the truth about Falun Dafa.
My first thought was that I could not let this man interfere with my telling people about Dafa. I could not let him take the truth-clarification materials, so I held onto the bag containing the pamphlets. Then I thought that telling people about Falun Dafa was the most righteous thing I could do. I must maintain righteous thoughts and not be afraid.
After I began silently sending righteous thoughts the man wasn’t as insolent. I sent another thought to destroy the communist party factors that were interfering with him, and he became quiet. I asked him to return my key. He took it off his belt and handed it to me. I got on my bike and left.
After riding for a while, I picked a spot and I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference. I looked inward and found I had many attachments, such as lust, focusing on business, and wanting to succeed in a hurry. I was grateful that Master was protecting me and allowing me to develop righteous thinking at a critical moment, so I could escape the old forces’ interference and pass this tribulation.
Lessons Learned From an Accident
I was returning home after talking to people about Falun Dafa. Since there were few people or vehicles on the streets I was speeding. Because the light was dim and I was absent-minded, I did not notice a car making a U-turn in front of me. I slammed on the brakes, fell off my bike, and rolled a few meters. I stopped when my helmet hit the back of the car.
The driver was shocked. He walked over and complained, “Why didn’t you pay attention?” I thought I was okay and I stood up. My right arm hurt badly, my right collarbone felt sore, and one leg hurt. I told the driver I was fine and said he could leave. Although he initially blamed me he felt bad and suggested I go to the hospital. He helped me pick up my bike as he said this. I said I was okay and he could leave. He quickly drove off.
I pushed the bike to the side of the road. The front tire was twisted, so I adjusted it and found the bike was still driveable. I checked myself and saw a big hole in my pants and another in my shirt. When I looked inward I remembered I had a conflict with my coworkers that day and I still felt resentful. I was thinking about it while I rode my bike and I did not notice the car. Thank you, Master, for protecting me. I felt lucky to still be able to ride my bike home.
After I got home I could not raise my right arm. I decided I wouldn’t acknowledge the old forces’ interference. I asked Master to help me overcome this tribulation. I thought I needed to increase my Fa study and do the exercises. I did all five exercises that evening. My right arm hurt as I raised it when I did the second exercise, but it soon felt better.
However, my right arm became more painful during the third exercise. I persisted, and sweated a lot. I could only lie on my left side when I went to bed. I felt better the next day. I could hold things, ride my bicycle, and use my computer, as long as I didn’t raise my right arm. No one at work noticed anything unusual.
I looked inward and found attachments to competitiveness, resentment, looking down on others, and laziness. My understanding of the Fa was not thorough. The conflict at work took a long time to resolve, and the pain and discomfort took a few months to subside. I thank Master for protecting me.
Finding My Fundamental Attachment
I hadn’t yet identified my fundamental attachment. I gradually realized that when I first started cultivating I practiced Falun Dafa to get a healthy body and live an easy life. I had many attachments, felt stressed, had insomnia, and hoped to resolve everything through cultivation. In short, I pursued the comfortable life of an ordinary person. This led to a strong attachment to comfort and a fear of hardship. I often couldn’t get up early to do the exercises.
I will work on these areas, remove fundamental attachments, eliminate my desire for an easy life, and truly do the three things well. I want to return to my true self and return home with Master.
These are my experiences. Please correct me if you see anything that is not in line with the Fa.
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