(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1996, when I was in my 30s. At the time, my marriage was nearly falling apart, and my life was at its lowest point. Because of my young son, I could not consider divorce. The word “stuck” perfectly captures how I felt back then, because I was unable to move forward or backward. Suicide was not an option because I still had my mother and son to care for. Life felt overwhelming.
A friend came to visit and exclaimed, “You should practice Falun Dafa. It’s wonderful!” He mentioned this repeatedly. I had always loved to read, so I borrowed the book Falun Gong from him. After I read it, the chronic fatigue that had troubled me for many years disappeared.
My husband did not believe in Dafa’s teachings, but he did not oppose my practicing it, either. When I asked him to read the book, he did and then said, “You go ahead and cultivate. When you succeed, I’ll cultivate, too.”
My Husband Begins to Change
In July 1999, Jiang Zemin, then head of the Chinese Communist Party, began persecuting Falun Dafa. Village loudspeakers broadcast orders for people to turn in their Dafa books. I thought, “My own affairs are mine to decide.” I did not hand mine in, and my husband did not say anything.
My husband was a typical male chauvinist. He never cooked or paid attention to caring for our son or did any housework. During the day, we worked together in our business. When we came home, I had to take care of our son, do the laundry, cook dinner, and clean the house all by myself. I would do the Dafa exercises late at night. He said that, as long as I looked after our boy and took care of everything properly, he would not interfere with my cultivation.
Since I was cultivating alone, I did not know how to be diligent, nor was I aware of what Fa-rectification meant. In 2003, the friend who had introduced me to Dafa came over and explained why Master Li was rectifying the Fa. He said fellow practitioners were enduring great hardship to clarify the truth and offer people salvation. To fund the production of informational flyers, booklets, and other materials, they were reluctant to spend much on food or clothing. Many would just take the vegetables others had discarded at markets. I was touched by their selflessness. I also wanted to distribute truth-clarification materials, so I went to a nearby town and obtained some from a local practitioner.
My husband later discovered the materials and took them. When I asked him to return them, he refused and said he had thrown them away. I could not find them anywhere, and I felt terrible. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I thought, “What is the point of staying in this marriage? He won’t allow me even a bit of freedom. I might as well get a divorce.”
With that thought, I fell half asleep with my head resting on the book Zhuan Falun. Through my teary eyes, I saw a man in an orange-red robe walking toward me. I suddenly woke up. I then thought, “I can’t lower myself to my husband’s level. I’m a cultivator!” After that, I felt much lighter.
In my heart, I asked Master to help me find the flyers, which were meant to save people. I searched every corner of the house but found nothing. The following year, I found them in a package among a pile of torn sacks in the yard. I was very happy to see they were completely intact.
In order to study the Fa and distribute materials smoothly, I always made sure everything at home was well taken care of before doing my own things. When my husband couldn’t find fault with me, he stopped interfering, and our relationship became much less tense.
Around 2004, I needed to pick up materials from a practitioner who lived more than 100 kilometers (62 miles) away. Transportation was inconvenient then, and we only had a motorcycle. I asked my husband for help, and he drove me there.
My husband used to curse and get furious whenever things did not go his way. Sometimes, I simply endured it. But whenever he swore, it upset me, and I wanted to argue with him. Gradually, I became calmer and stopped taking it personally. He, in turn, cursed less often.
In 2004, my husband stopped interfering with my cultivation and distribution of materials. Even so, we lived more like friends and had never discussed our feelings as husband and wife. In fact, since we married in 1989, we had never truly shared our hearts with each other. But in 2010, we had a long talk. He told me he regretted meeting me because I was not the kind of woman he desired, and he never felt love for me. I was not moved by his declaration, nor did it make me angry. Through Dafa, I understood our relationship was predestined and that I should cherish it.
A fellow practitioner and I once went out at night to distribute materials, and I did not return home until 11 p.m. My husband met me on the way back and scolded me harshly. I said nothing and didn’t resent him. In my heart, I kept reminding myself to not be upset, because I knew he was worried about my safety. I continued to do what I was supposed to do to save people.
Another time, when I returned home after midnight, he was still up. As soon as I walked in, I saw the worry and concern on his face, and I almost cried. Whenever I was not home, he could not sleep because he worried about me.
We had another conflict that hurt me deeply, and, once again, I thought about divorce. I reminded myself that I practiced Falun Dafa and should strive to be a good person. I could not divorce him. I kept reminding myself, “I’m a Dafa disciple. Whenever something happens, I should look within to see what I have not done well and conduct myself according to the Fa.” Master said,
“For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2009 Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume IX).
I always kept those words in mind, and my heart became tranquil again.
The director of the police station once saw me give someone a Dafa calendar, and I was illegally detained for four days. My husband was somewhat well-known in the area, and I thought he might be ashamed of me. After thinking it over, I decided to let him choose. If he felt I had humiliated him, we could get divorced.
The day I was released, my husband came to pick me up. We didn’t say anything as we walked out of the detention center. On the way home, I gathered my courage and said, “If I have embarrassed you, we can get a divorce.” Without hesitation, he replied, “Why would we get divorced? We’ve gone through so much together. If our son feels embarrassed, then we’ll cut ties with him. But I’m not getting divorced.” He then took me out to eat at a restaurant.
I thanked Master in my heart. Dafa had changed not only me, but also the people around me.
My Husband Starts Doing Household Chores
From that point on, I became even less concerned with my husband’s shortcomings and showed him consideration in every aspect of his life. Whenever I had time, I washed his hair and his feet. At the beginning of the pandemic, my husband suffered a stroke. Sometimes, he could not control his bladder or bowels and would cry. I remained calm and, before Master’s photo, sincerely said, “Master, he is a good person. Please help me get through this tribulation.”
Because of his illness, my husband was emotionally fragile and almost childlike. He said he wanted to go to Beijing for medical treatment, so I agreed to take him. I brought along recordings of Master’s Fa lectures, and we set out. On the way, he looked at me pitifully and said, “You were so busy taking care of our business at home, yet you’re still accompanying me.” I replied, “You are my home. If you are gone, then my home is gone.” He was so moved that he cried.
Throughout the trip, I played recordings of Master’s lectures for him. At a hospital in Beijing, doctors determined that his stroke was mild, so we returned to our county hospital. During the day, I continued running our business. After I finished work at about 8:30 p.m., I took a taxi to the hospital 15 kilometers away to stay with him.
I read Zhuan Falun to him and comforted him. I got up at 2:30 a.m. to do the five Dafa exercises, then continued reading Zhuan Falun to him. At 7:30 a.m., when his brother arrived, I took a taxi home. I followed this routine day after day. On the ninth day, my husband said, “You don’t need to come anymore. I’m fine now.” After 13 days, he was released from the hospital.
Back at home, I said, “You should express your gratitude and thank Master Li.” He replied, “Absolutely.” He went before Master’s photo, lit a stick of incense, and bowed down three times.
At first, his legs were weak, and he was unsteady on his feet. I cared for him in every way I could and encouraged him to practice Dafa. But he said his predestined opportunity had not yet arrived, and I did not force him. I accompanied him to medical appointments, took him for walks, and took him swimming. I stopped being critical of him. And as my heart changed, my husband changed as well.
When winter came and things became less busy, I began hand-copying Zhuan Falun. My husband often gets up in the morning to prepare breakfast. Sometimes, he even boils eggs for me and brings them and a glass of milk to my desk. My husband had never done housework in the past, and yet he now cooks, mops floors, does laundry, and even takes excellent care of all the flowers I planted.
Thank you, Dafa. Thank you, Master.
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