(Minghui.org) I have been practicing Falun Dafa for over 30 years. As a veteran practitioner, it is somewhat embarrassing to admit that I still have many shortcomings. This year, I gained a better understanding of cultivation. I would like to share some of my recent insights with everyone.

My wife and I have only been together for a few years. She is a very domineering and self-centered person. She is financially well-off, owning a brick-and-mortar store with good income. She covers all the household expenses. Whenever I do something that doesn’t align with her wishes, she flies into a rage. In severe instances, she might scream and even hurl insults. She could be perfectly fine one moment, only to suddenly turn hostile the next for no apparent reason.

I have a tendency to seek comfort and ease. I am not particularly diligent with household chores. I am often careless, frequently overlooking small details. She will often complain and criticize me. Having held leadership positions at work for many years, I am not used to being treated this way.

Initially, I argued with her, sometimes quite heatedly. Later, however, I would realize that I had failed to act in accordance with the requirements of the Fa. She was my mirror, reflecting my own shortcomings. I would deeply regret my actions and resolve to do better next time. Yet when another conflict arose, I failed again.

When I looked inward, I would usually begin by dwelling on her faults. Only then would I consider how I should exercise forbearance, improve myself, and broaden my heart—falling short of truly looking inward unconditionally. The deep-seated human attachments, such as jealousy and a sense of grievance continued to disturb me, and no substantive change had taken place.

This year, through continuous Fa study and reading sharing articles by fellow practitioners, I suddenly gained a clear realization. The fundamental cause that has severely hindered my improvement all along is “self”—the various “false selves” formed by selfishness over time. All tribulations, troubles, including the various forms of interference from the old forces arise and manifest because of this “self.” I realized that behind every attachment lies a “self:” the one seeking fame, profit, and lust, the jealous “self,” a combative “self,” as well as the notions and preferences of the “self” and so on. All attachments arise because of the “self” behind them. Eliminating various attachments essentially means eliminating the various manifestations of the “self.”

It is this “self” that truly disturbs and drives us. The old forces, along with the various people and events that create trouble and tribulations for us serve merely as triggers, thereby causing us to act in accordance with their arrangements.

Every time we face a test, endure an ordeal, or eliminate karma, the real issue is whether we can let go of the “self.” Previously, I held a significant misconception about “looking inward.” Whenever a conflict arose, I would focus on who was right and who was wrong, judging the matter strictly on its surface details. Consequently, I often looked outward when encountering problems. Even when I did look at myself, it was only at a superficial level, failing to see the deep-seated, fundamental issues within.

Once I truly realized that the “self” was the root cause of all these issues, my cultivation underwent a profound transformation. My state of mind shifted significantly when facing subsequent conflicts. I no longer fixated on who was right or wrong on the surface, nor did I harbor resentment or dwell on the faults of others. Now I have a much clearer understanding of what I need to examine within myself.

Now, every night, I briefly review the day’s events to see which aspects of the “self” I failed to let go of. To elevate one’s level, overcome tribulations, and resolve conflicts and troubles, one must not look or search outwardly, but rather let go of the “self.” Once the “self” is gone, interference and persecution by evil forces will vanish without a trace, and the mechanisms of the old forces will be rendered powerless against you. However, truly achieving this requires a prerequisite. One must first study the Fa well.

Recently I have also gained some new insights regarding Fa study. A few of us formed a group to study the Fa together once a week. We adopted a new approach this time by slowing down our reading pace, to better internalize the teachings and truly grasp the Fa. Although the quantity of material covered has decreased, everyone feels that their understanding of the Fa has improved significantly.

This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.