(Minghui.org) During the National Day Week at the beginning of October I told a coworker, “I’m in a terrible mood, and even shopping for clothes doesn’t cheer me up. Nothing makes me happy.” I was surprised I said this, because after I started practicing Falun Dafa, I’m seldom in a “bad mood.”
I was a student before I cultivated, and I sometimes experienced “melancholy.” But after I began practicing, even when I had trials and tribulations—including the agony of failing to pass them—it wasn’t the same as the “bad moods” ordinary people feel. So why did I suddenly experience these human emotions now? I’ve been trying to figure out what exactly put me in such a “bad mood” lately.
When the holiday break began, I counted on getting my performance bonus, heating allowance, and salary this month, and I calculated how much I could save. But when the salary didn’t come through, I was disappointed.
My father’s yellow peaches weren’t selling, which added to my family’s financial pressure. A fellow Falun Dafa practitioner bought two boxes of peaches, but after a few days, they all rotted. I was depressed when he told me this. Then, two other people who reserved peaches canceled their orders, which presented a setback for us. Next, I suffered with a toothache and loss of appetite. In short, it’s all been setbacks, blows, frustrations, self-doubt, and other negative emotions.
Then came the depression that led to me indulging in watching short videos on my phone. This didn’t lift my spirits; instead, it made me feel even more depressed. I tried to cope by going shopping at the mall and buying new clothes, but that didn’t cheer me up either.
It wasn’t until I shared my thoughts with a coworker that I suddenly realized this state of mind was abnormal. Digging deeper to uncover the root cause, I realized what truly weighed me down wasn’t the events themselves, but I was being controlled by this negative, depressed mindset!
I don’t usually dwell on whether I get paid or how much I can save. I know there’s a limit to when my father’s yellow peaches will sell out and how much money he’ll make—the pressure stems from my affection for my father. As for others canceling orders, I don’t fret over it either; I let things unfold naturally. So why do I feel down? All these little things pile up, and before I can address them with righteous thoughts, the negative energy of “human disappointment” and “setbacks” sets in.
After so many years of cultivation, although I may not always be able to remain free from sorrow, joy, worry, or fear, I learned to look inward when I’m faced with challenges. I measure situations by the Fa and view them through the Fa’s principles. Rarely do I experience human emotions like “bad moods” or “depression,” because the Fa’s principles guide me, and show me what to do.
In recent years I haven’t the negative substance of “depression” that arises after setbacks and blows. When I realizrf this, I instantly felt my mind and body clear and refreshed, all previous mental gloom was swept away!
When the toothache returned, I no longer passively endured it. I recognized this as persecution meant to demoralize me and erode my righteous thoughts. I recited the sending forth righteous thoughts mantra a hundred times and ate whatever I needed to eat. Before I even finished the hundred recitations, the toothache vanished!
I’ve come to realize that these negative, depressed feelings are the true spiritual entities—the yin forces. They most easily erode a cultivator’s willpower, causing you to sink into despondency, low spirits, and self-doubt. Gradually, you lose the ability to raise righteous thoughts, and may even end up giving up on yourself.
This interference and persecution are the hardest to detect. If you fail to recognize it, you’ll easily get bogged down in reacting to specific situations—solving immediate problems and letting go of attachments to those issues—without eliminating the root cause. When another opportunity arises, it may control you.
The insidious nature of this negative substance lies in that it emerges when practitioners face adversity, delivering a double blow to their willpower. The tactics employed by the old forces to persecute practitioners also aims to erode our willpower—causing them to become despondent, demoralized, and self-doubting during the most difficult and painful moments when they can barely endure.
When practitioners fail to have righteous thoughts, they may give up on themselves, allowing evil to prevail. Maintaining righteous thoughts when one’s willpower is weak is paramount. Our righteous thoughts originate from Master and the Fa.
This is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
