(Minghui.org) When I was half awake one morning a vivid image suddenly flashed through my mind: my husband hitting me during a family conflict that occurred before I began to cultivate. In that moment, my resentment for him surged, and a wave of anger rose inside me. I then became fully awake.
I carefully analyzed my thoughts: In that half-awake state, my mind felt empty and I wasn’t thinking about anything. So where did that sudden feeling of resentment come from?
I finally understood what Master meant about thoughts not belonging to the true self—I could truly sense it. My true thoughts weren’t moved at all. It was the false self that felt resentful, something imposed upon me. I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. It was not me, and I should not accept it.
After this incident, I looked inward and asked myself, “Why did this thought appear in my mind?”
Over the years, I believed that I let go of past resentment, but in fact, it was hidden deep inside me. I could see traces of it in small things in my daily life. On the surface, I resented my husband for not caring enough about our child and neglecting the family. But when I looked deeper, I realized that these were just excuses, a way to cover up the deeper resentment I had for him.
That resentment always existed within me. Although it wasn’t me, I hadn’t yet cultivated it away. Now that I uncovered this hidden resentment, it’s time to completely eliminate it.
Once during our Fa-study group, everyone was asked to leave their cell phones outside the room for security reasons before we began. While I was insidemy husband tried to reach me about something important and he kept calling. When I finally checked my phone, I saw that he called continuously from 9:30 p.m. for almost an hour. I could easily imagine how upset he must have been.
When I saw how many times he called and read the messages he sent, I realized I needed to handle this situation with steadfast righteous thoughts. As I walked home, I began to send righteous thoughts. Just then, he called again, yelling angrily and using foul language. I stayed calm and continued to send righteous thoughts, reminding myself that the person yelling and threatening to report me was not my husband’s true self. I needed to reject and eliminate these negative influences. As I walked home, I maintained a continuous stream of righteous thoughts.
When I got home, he acted completely normal, as if nothing happened. I truly felt that everything that happens in our life is related to our cultivation. Once we relax our true self and allow the false self to dominate our thoughts, the things we do have the opposite effect of what we would do if we maintained righteous thoughts.
Righteous thoughts are not just empty words. Especially when things happen in the family, it’s easy for us to act like ordinary people, because sentiment and emotion bind us so closely to our loved ones.
For example, when my father found out that I was practicing Falun Dafa, he was furious and demanded that I return home immediately. I didn’t know what happened. As soon as I walked in the door, he asked me directly if I practiced Falun Dafa. I said, “Yes.” He then asked when I started and how long I’d been practicing. I answered each of his questions honestly.
He became extremely angry and ordered me to throw my books away and stop practicing. I told him I wouldn’t do that. He then declared in front of the entire family that he would sever our father-daughter relationship and forbid me from ever coming home again.
My family urged me to apologize to my father, and assure him that I would stop practicing. I told them that wasn’t possible. Instead, I continued on with my life, going to work as usual, and I didn’t let it weigh on my mind.
When the New Year arrived, I returned home as usual. My father didn’t bring up the matter again, and we celebrated the holiday as if nothing happened.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
