(Minghui.org) My husband and I married in 2000. He is a core subject teacher at a key middle school. He is kind, honest, and has a strong personality. I practice Falun Dafa, and he knows that Falun Dafa is good and did not object to me practicing. We each had children from previous marriages and formed a harmonious family that our colleagues, neighbors, and relatives admired.
Time flies, and one day in November 2020, I was out of town and was reported to the police as I was talking to people about Falun Dafa. I was subsequently detained for ten days. When my relatives and sisters found out, their reactions were extremely strong, and my husband was particularly furious. He lost his senses and destroyed the Falun Dafa books that I read every day and the informational materials about Falun Dafa that I distribute to people.
My heart was broken when I learned of all this after I was released from a detention center. Resentment about his irrationality grew in my heart. I resented him destroying my precious books, and for destroying so many materials used to save people, that were produced by practitioners using money they saved by living frugally. I had given him relevant information materials many times in the past, earnestly hoping that he would read them to understand the facts and secure his opportunity for salvation, and to avoid him collaborating with the evil in ignorance and creating karma for himself. But he was so stubborn that he refused to listen or read them, and wouldn’t even take a glance at them. I felt resentful for what he did, and hated him.
After my release, groups of staff from the police department, Domestic Security Division, procuratorate, police station, my workplace, my husband’s workplace, and the neighborhood administration came to my home one after another. Especially around “sensitive dates,” they came offering us so-called “caring and comforting.” My husband proactively collaborated with them each time and answered whatever questions they asked him. I despised his submissive and servile face. He also badmouthed me in front of others. He felt a lot of pressure from the harassment of those visiting groups, and he couldn’t sleep well. He even told them our private matters, fearing that he didn’t tell them enough and neglecting my feelings entirely, let alone the love between husband and wife. I thought about divorcing him.
In fact, when there was no external pressure, he often talked about how good I was. He often praised me in front of my parent’s family and his parent’s family, and often gave me a thumbs up, “You are better than all your sisters combined.” But facing this major issue of right and wrong, he was so irrational that I felt he was adding insult to injury. The more I thought about that, the angrier I became with him. I resented him.
Because of this black substance of “resentment” that permeated throughout my dimensional field, our relationship stopped being harmonious. In my eyes, he was simply a “monitoring device.” He did not allow me to get in touch with other practitioners, and he blocked me from joining my Fa study group or going out to clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to people. He spoke to me in a nasty or angry manner. I hated him treating me like this, and I blamed him for being unkind. It went on to the extent that I even blamed him for some minor family matters, such as toilet tissue not being replaced in time, and the like.
I woke up when I read practitioners’ sharing articles on Minghui Weekly. I realized that as a practitioner and a Dafa disciple, I should not be led along by an ordinary person. I needed to hurry to change my state and remove the resentment in my heart. I needed to follow Master’s words, be a true practitioner, let go of resentment, and use kindness to open up the knots in his heart.
I first put myself in his shoes and thought from his perspective. He has been influenced by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture since his childhood. He is competitive and does whatever the CCP tells him to do. He is obedient in his workplace. He also cares about his reputation. He was deceived by the CCP’s lies and has no ability to resist pressure or intimidation from external forces. He has a mindset of following the majority and not worrying about things that are not happening in front of him. I thought about the CCP’s previous political campaigns to persecute people and scare them. My husband felt embarrassed about my arrest and was upset about his reputation being tarnished. He thought that only by forcing me to stop practicing could he resume living a stable life.
I found that what was behind resentment was unkindness. I also dug out my selfishness, jealousy, contempt for others, attachment to reputation, rejection of criticism, enjoying compliments, and self-righteousness. A cultivator should be kind to everyone, let alone to my husband, who has strong predestined relationship with me and has come to help me improve my character. He also waited thousands of years of reincarnations and was born in this lifetime when Dafa is being widely spread. The opportunity is fleeting, yet he’s lost without waking up. If he understood this, he would not do these things.
I know that I have not yet developed enough compassion in my cultivation, but I will treat him well going forward and will try to understand him more. I will use kindness to create a relaxing family atmosphere and speak in a pleasant manner. I will discipline myself with the principles of Dafa and require myself to listen more and work hard without complaints. I will consider his diet and daily life more and let go of the habit of being self-righteous. I will return to tradition and be a good wife and mother. I cultivate in Dafa and I will definitely let him see the light and have hope.
As my mentality has changed, my husband also gradually changed. He was no longer so opposed to me mentioning Falun Dafa, and his tone also became softer when he talked to me. I sometimes communicated with him when he was in a good mood, and he no longer rejected me so much when I kindly pointed out that he was being highly opinionated. I was hoping he would give himself the opportunity to learn the facts so he could assimilate with Dafa soon and obtain salvation.
Not long ago he was going away for a long trip. I said to him with a smile that health and safety are very important things when you are away from home, and that people always talk about seeking good fortune and avoiding disasters, “You should know what good fortune and big disasters really are!” He answered, “Of course.” I followed the situation, and said, “Keep in your heart that Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” He smiled, “Yes.” A warm current instantly came to my heart. I was truly happy that this life was awakening.
When I dug out this bad matter of resentment and was determined to eliminate it, Master helped me remove the human attachments. Now I’m studying the Fa, doing the exercises, sending forth righteous thoughts, and saving sentient beings every day with a light and joyful heart.
I remember a practitioner once shared that in the world of faith, everyone around you is someone you should be grateful to, and in the world of cultivation, everyone around you is someone who makes you successful. I was very inspired. Didn’t my husband come to make me successful? He is a mirror of my journey of cultivation, and he has come to help me improve. I should thank him.
From now on, I will be grateful to everyone and everything I encounter on my journey of cultivation. Then that demon nature, such as hatred, resentment, the competitive mentality, feeling things are unfair, and being jealous, will have no place in me. I will use kindness to turn these into a ladder that will lead me to my true home.
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Category: Improving Oneself
