(Minghui.org) A practitioner’s article, “Turmoil Among Practitioners Exposes Our Notions” was about behavior that disrupts the Fa. It reminded me of my interactions with local practitioners.
Before I began to practice Falun Dafa, I was a show-off. After I practiced for a long time I still often did things to validate myself. Whenever I enlightened to something I immediately wanted to tell others. I always wanted to stand out, or say things that sounded interesting. Although I occasionally looked within my attachment to showing off was so strong that I was unable to understand what Master said about negating the old forces.
My actions conformed to the old forces’ arrangements and they intensified my notions. I believed that I was only sharing with other practitioners to improve with them. This excuse prevented me from digging out my hidden attachment.
To make matters worse, I placed myself above other practitioners, thinking that I cultivated better and enlightened to things they hadn’t. No matter what the topic of a conversation was, I always made it about my “righteous thoughts and deeds.” Even before I did anything I was already thinking about how I could use it to show off. The demonic interference from my own mind was so severe that I didn’t realize I was deviating from the Fa.
Gradually some practitioners liked coming to my home to share their experiences with me, which took up a lot of my time. I told a practitioner that she should study at home—the answers were all in the teachings. She said, “But it won’t help me improve as fast as talking to you. It took you a long time to enlighten to these principles, and I can enlighten to them quickly after talking to you. You are building your mighty virtue this way.” At the time I could not tell whether her thinking was correct or not.
I began to talk about my understandings in emails that I sent to local practitioners. I felt it wasn’t wrong as long as I spoke based on the Fa. However, we all have to walk our own paths. When I always talked about what I’d do in certain situations, it would be the same as influencing and interfering with other practitioners, which is disrupting the Fa.
Master said:
“The path a Dafa disciple takes is a glorious history, and this history has to be created by his own enlightening.” (“Path,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
Because I didn’t measure my actions against the teachings I was irresponsible to my cultivation and to other practitioners.
I was later arrested and put in a forced labor camp. After I was released, I didn’t search within to eliminate my attachment to showing off, I thought I was arrested because I had the attachment to lust. When I resumed doing the three things I constantly ran into interference, which sometimes appeared as soon as I wanted to do something to clarify the truth.
Fortunately I insisted on studying two or three lectures of Zhuan Falun every day, and I looked within. I was able to negate the old forces’ interference. I started to memorize the Fa about negating the old forces. One day I finally realized that my attachments to showing off and wanting to be different gave the old forces the excuse to persecute me. I negated their detrimental arrangement.
Shortly after I negated the old forces’ arrangement, Master arranged for me to move to a new place, where I basically cultivate alone. I felt that it worked better for me to let go of my attachments to showing off and standing out. Thanks to Master, I eliminated them, and got out of that incorrect state.
I went through a series of big changes after that. The biggest change I experienced was that I stopped being irritable. I was able to face unfair treatments so calmly that I couldn’t believe that I did it. Also, I was no longer anxious and impatient when the weather was hot. I often complained about the heat in the summer, and would have my AC on full blast all summer long. Now the heat does not bother me even if the fan or AC were off and I was perspiring a lot. A slight breeze was enough to cool me.
I’ve wanted to eliminate my addiction to cellphones but it was hard. One day I repeatedly hit my hand to make it hurt so I wouldn’t pick up my phone. The next day my addiction was worse and I couldn’t put my phone down. After I saw that it was the old forces forcing the addiction on me, I repeatedly rejected my desire to use the phone. Now I care little about my phone.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
