(Minghui.org) I have had a habit of feeling deep regret and blaming myself since I was young. This kind of negative thinking has caused me additional interference when I go through tribulations. It would sometimes even get mixed into my process of looking within when I was facing tribulations in cultivation, and I would not be able to sense it. I am currently aware of two situations.
The first case is that when I go through a tribulation, human notions will first jump out, “Why did such a thing happen? Did I do something wrong? If I had taken note of these attachments earlier, such a thing would not have occurred.” Negative feelings of regret and self-blame will then well up, pressuring me until my chest becomes uncomfortable, because negative emotions are living beings.
Is this looking within? No. I was blaming myself because I did not want to endure the hardship of going through a tribulation, and I did not want a certain outcome to happen again. It was not because I had truly paid attention to the process of identifying my attachments and examining how much I have corrected myself. Human notions are selfish and what accumulates from them are experiences from trying to avoid suffering.
I gradually found and tried to change this negative thinking. To pass a test, I will first accept what has happened from the bottom of my heart. I will think first, “According to the standards of a cultivator how should I treat this matter, and what can be done to make it conform to the Fa more and help save more people? Did this matter happen because there’s something I need to correct? Which attachment do I need to get rid of: fame, seeking benefits, or emotion; or is this because of jealousy, showing off, or zealotry?”
While I’m going through a tribulation, I should be kind. If it is meant for me to tolerate, I will tolerate it. If I am meant to lose something, then it shall be lost. After finding attachments, I will restrain my behavior and cultivate myself. I will no longer get entangled in thinking about how to avoid conflicts. I know that our lives have all been arranged. There are no coincidences when tribulations and tests appear, and they cannot be controlled by human notions. If a cultivator’s xinxing isn’t up to par, tests and tribulations will definitely occur. There should be no regret or self-blame. We can only keep cultivating solidly and do better on the remaining stretch of our paths. That is because our xinxing still needs to improve and there will thus still be new tribulations and tests coming.
The second case is that when I see a family member encounter a tribulation a negative thought will appear in my mind, “Did this happen to my family member because I did not cultivate well?” When I see my family members suffer, I will sink into self-blame again and be disturbed by negativity. Looking within, I realized that my basis is that I hope my family members will live well and not suffer hardship. This is still a selfish thought. Did I cultivate so that my family members can live well? This will bring heavy psychological burdens to my cultivation.
I now understand that when my family members go through tribulations, I should not look within for the cause to resolve their problems, because that is applying human notions. In the karmic retribution cycle, everything that happens is inevitable. My family members also need to eliminate their karma, and they have their own predestined paths in life. Birth, aging, illness, and death are all predestined. During tribulations we can only abide by Dafa’s standards of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance when we face conflicts and interact with our family members. We should also try our best to eliminate interference and do the three things well. We should look within unconditionally for the problems that we see in our family members and cultivate ourselves, instead of trying to change others. We should not place emphasis on the outcome of this process. We should instead let nature take its course.
Although I understand this all theoretically in terms of the principles, during actual cultivation I often stumble. I was chatting with a non-practitioner friend, and she mentioned some of her problems in life. She smiled and said to me, “You know, I’ve heard it said that those who try to change themselves are divine beings, and that those who try to change others are insane.” After saying that she laughed out loud. I knew that benevolent Master was giving me a timely reminder to cultivate myself unconditionally. Every person’s life follows a fixed path that the divine has arranged for them. When a cultivator saves a person, he saves this being’s inner character, instead of helping the person enjoy a good life in the human world.
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
