(Minghui.org) Living with chronic illnesses caused me to become shy and withdrawn. Since childhood, I suffered from kidney disease, which left me dizzy and forgetful, and I struggled academically at school. My complexion was sallow and lifeless throughout my adolescence, and I was always in a bad mood due to my poor health. I became quiet, resentful, and deeply withdrawn, I seldom talked to anyone.
A turning point came in 1997, when I was fortunate to begin practicing Falun Dafa. Through studying the Fa, cultivating myself, and practicing the exercises, Master helped me—my health improved. My kidney disease disappeared—and for the first time in my life I experienced good health. As my mood improved, I became a nicer person. Master taught me to keep improving by following the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I learned to consider others, practice tolerance and forbearance, and act with kindness. I was also conscientious and responsible at work. I became deeply caring toward my family—supporting my husband, raising our children well, and respecting my elders. My outlook on life became positive.
The Source of My Resentment
Before I began practicing I did not respect my elders, and I harbored deep resentment. My husband is the oldest son, with one older sister and six younger brothers and sisters, who lived in the countryside. Because my husband pursued higher education, he was assigned a job in the city after he graduated. Our living conditions were better than theirs. When his parents were younger and in good health, his two younger brothers took turns caring for them so the parents could help take care of their children. However, once the parents aged and the children grew up, the two brothers shifted the responsibility of caring for the parents to us. After the parents moved into our home, we learned that they distributed the family assets without telling us—they felt that since we lived in the city, we wouldn’t want the rural property or any belongings. We felt we should have been included in the discussion. I was extremely upset at the time, and I felt his parents were unfair and did not consider us—their eldest son and daughter-in-law. It seemed that only when they had nowhere else to go they remembered us.
My resentment surfaced immediately. Although I had already begun practicing cultivation, my understanding of the Fa was shallow and many principles were still unclear. I didn’t know how to cultivate my heart, and I behaved poorly. Looking back, I feel deep regret for the way I behaved then. My mother-in-law kept hoping I would say, “I agree to let you stay with us.”
In reality, I already accepted that they were living with us long-term, but I stubbornly refused to say it. I should have realized that my mother-in-law was also suffering emotionally, as living under someone else’s roof is never easy.
As I continued cultivating and my character improved, I gradually recalled Master’s teachings. Why was I cultivating? My goal was to return to my original, true self and to go home with Master. But was I cultivating my character? Was I acting like a true cultivator? I realized how terrible resentment is. The old forces were using resentment to destroy me. I resolved to break free from resentment, eliminate it, and I refused to allow it to ruin my years of cultivation.
Once I truly made up my mind, Master removed the bad substances from me. I felt a profound sense of relief and I was filled with happiness. I apologized to my mother-in-law, and the family atmosphere became harmonious once again. When I placed incense before Master’s portrait, my mother-in-law would also offer incense with great respect, saying, “Thank you, Master!” She received blessings, her health improved, and ultimately she lived to the age of ninety-nine.
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