(Minghui.org) Before I began practicing Falun Dafa, people who knew me said I was considerate, empathetic, and careful not to say anything that would hurt anyone’s feelings. I got along well with others.
But my relationship with my husband had always been strained; everything he said and did went against my way of thinking. I also didn’t know what to do about my daughter’s rebellious behavior.
Dafa’s Principles Helped Untie Emotional Knots
After practicing Dafa, it felt as if a veil had been lifted. As I let go of my attachments and elevated my xinxing (character). By following Dafa’s principles these emotional knots within my family naturally untangled, one after another.
I was able to resolve these personal conflicts myself and also help other practitioners around me—though, in reality, that desire to “help” was merely another manifestation of my attachments.
Nothing that a cultivator experiences is a coincidence. What may seem like another person’s problem is also an opportunity to improve. I can’t always initially pinpoint the root of the problem, so I study the Fa and look within; then the principles of the Fa become clear, and I discuss them with other practitioners.
The issues I have with other practitioners keep changing, and the challenges seem to be getting increasingly difficult, while my progress seems slower.
Changing My Mindset To Align With Dafa
When a faucet in my home broke I wasted a lot of time trying to fix it. I looked at it and thought: this faucet is like a person’s mindset—a processing plant of the old universe—the products it produces are all flawed, so I should replace it with a new one.
When I reflected further, people’s habitual ways of thinking are self-serving and self-protective, which is the nature of the old universe. Influenced by Chinese Communist Party culture every thought is selfish and self-centered, people are encouraged to place themselves first and disregard the feelings of others.
Although practitioners understand the principles of the Fa, when faced with particular problems—especially when their own attachments are touched upon—their first thought is often at odds with the Fa. Once they calm down, they gradually realize that if this thinking continues, they won’t keep up with the progress of Fa-rectification and their cultivation state will get worse.
The Painstaking Process of Rectifying My Mindset
How can I rectify my incorrect state? Master guided me to change my mindset—to adopt a selfless mindset, to see things from others’ perspectives, to understand them, and to consider whether they can accept what I say before I speak.
Changing my mindset wasn’t easy, yet the results have been remarkable. People used to say I was too serious and tended to lecture others. I felt wronged and misunderstood.
I realized that others’ lack of understanding was actually a reflection of my own failure to understand them—the root of the problem lay with me. To resolve issues more effectively, in addition to studying the Fa and looking within, I humbly exchanged views with other practitioners. Realizing that everyone thinks differently, I tried to understand how other practitioners thought about things.
I gradually realized how insignificant I was. I saw that practitioners who seemed unremarkable possessed amazing qualities that I lacked. I also changed my habitual way of looking at things and stepped outside my own perspective to see things from their point of view.
This allowed me to see things I previously overlooked; the principles of the Fa revealed themselves more clearly during Fa study, and I was able to quickly identify the key points in many situations, making it much easier to resolve issues.
A Breakthrough In How I Respond and Act
From what I’ve seen, a prominent issue is that practitioners often communicate based on their own understandings of the Fa’s principles—they stubbornly believe they are aligned with the Fa. They treat their own insights as absolute standards against which to measure others. They point out perceived flaws and pass judgment often without realizing that they are in the wrong.
If the other practitioner doesn’t accept what’s being said, they say that person is clinging to their own attachments and fail to consider that they themselves may be the problem. This leads to a breakdown in communication and some practitioners stop interacting with others altogether.
When some practitioners attend study groups, they read the Fa but don’t share. As a result, those who are least able to look within become increasingly silent, and their attachments become tangled like a ball of yarn, leaving them in a very poor state. They numbly go through the motions. Some develop physical ailments, or become apathetic. I’ve seen this happen to quite a few practitioners over the past few years.
I treat other practitioners’ problems as my own. I listen to what they have to say so I can understand the root of their issues, and then share my own insights. I also remind myself not to impose my views on them.
If the other person doesn’t want to listen, I look within to understand why. I’ve found that the problem often lies in how I express myself—I tend to speak in a manner that suits my own preferences, saying things in a way that makes me feel comfortable. Practitioners can sense that what I’m saying doesn’t align with their own preferences, which makes them feel uncomfortable and unwilling to listen.
In the past, if another practitioner didn’t understand something, I was impatient. Everyone’s growth takes time but I became attached to other practitioners’ attachments. Once I realized this, I sincerely apologized to the other person and explained my problem. The other person often then looks inward and is willing to accept my suggestions.
As I reflect on my own mindset, I realize that it’s not enough to just think righteously—I must also act righteously. This is especially true when interacting with non-practitioners, who place greater importance on our actions.
This approach takes longer and it’s not as fast as telling them about the persecution. When they see our actual actions, they can draw their own conclusions based on the facts, understand the truth, and truly be saved.
When clarifying the truth to people, they sometimes offer feedback or criticism directed at practitioners. This feedback often exposes where we have fallen short, or where we should have been understanding, but we were not.
We need to cultivate in a way that aligns with ordinary society. We mustn’t avoid normal interactions and contact with non-practitioners, thinking it a waste of time, nor should we dislike what they say or fear becoming contaminated and straying from our cultivation path. If we do, aren't we acting selfishly, with no concern for those waiting to learn the truth?
Change My Mindset, Improve My Cultivation Environment
More than 20 practitioners in our local area were arrested recently. One practitioner brought an undercover agent, whom he thought was a practitioner, to several Fa-study groups. Those practitioners were arrested, harassed, or had to leave home to avoid being persecuted. This practitioner asked me to go to other areas to pass on the message.
More than a decade ago a practitioner who was a coordinator took me to several Fa-study groups. Others labeled me a spy. I dismissed the accusation and I felt it was a cultivation opportunity. But only now did I realize—why didn’t I consider back then just how much of a negative impact my behavior had on the other practitioners?
Since I hadn’t interacted with these practitioners before, how would those who were severely persecuted view me, suddenly appearing and meeting with multiple groups? Even though we’ve cultivated for years some practitioners refuse to accept or understand others. If they can shift their perspective and put themselves in the other practitioners’ shoes the situation will change.
I reflected on Master’s teachings and realized that if I couldn’t communicate well with local practitioners—if there were barriers between us—then there were areas in my cultivation that I needed to improve on.
With this mindset, as I interacted with both practitioners and non-practitioners, I continuously identified my attachments. Instead of shying away from them, I let them go. Without even realizing it, not only did I improve and advance diligently with other practitioners, but other people also began stepping into Dafa.
I realize that our state of cultivation serves as an environment for others: the better the environment, the more positive the influence on other practitioners, and the easier it is for non-practitioners to be saved. For this reason, I must strive even harder to cultivate well!
Articles in which cultivators share their understandings typically reflect an individual's perception at a point in time based on their cultivation state, and they are offered in the spirit of enabling mutual elevation.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
