(Minghui.org) When I was four years old, my mother remarried, and we moved into my stepfather’s home. I always wished to be complimented. To earn praise, I was willing to endure more hardship, do extra work, or even accept financial loss. As a result, throughout my childhood and adulthood, I usually only heard praise from my parents, neighbors, classmates, and others around me.
Alongside this attachment, however, was another one: an inability to accept criticism. Whenever someone criticized or spoke harshly to me, I became so upset that I sometimes wept. These two attachments blocked my cultivation path like granite, and I was unable to eliminate them. Although I repeatedly memorized Zhuan Falun, whenever conflicts arose, I habitually reacted with ordinary human notions instead of measuring myself with the Fa. This troubled me deeply.
Later, I took a job caring for an elderly woman who lived alone but needed help. She had two sons and a daughter named Fang, who was a teacher. When I first entered their home I was struck by the filth and clutter. The clothes in the closet were tangled together in a huge pile, and all of the shoes were stuffed into a woven bag, dirty and misshapen. The disorderly environment was overwhelming. Then I reminded myself that, as a cultivator, nothing happens by chance. So I simply began cleaning.
I cleaned the house thoroughly. Then I sorted and organized the clothing and other items. I cleaned every pair of shoes and carefully stuffed them to regain their original shape. By the time I finished, I was exhausted, but I still needed to prepare a meal for the elderly woman. When I asked what she wanted to eat, she said noodles, so I cooked a bowl for her.
After checking what her mother ate, Fang criticized me. “You took the easy way out by serving instant noodles. That’s far too simple. You can’t be so careless. Next time, you need to make fresh hand-pulled noodles.” I calmly replied, “All right. I’ll make hand-pulled noodles next time.” Although I restrained myself outwardly, her critical tone hurt me deeply.
The next day, the elderly woman requested sweet rice dumplings, so I prepared them for her, and she enjoyed them immensely. The following day she wanted them again, so I made them. However, when Fang discovered this, she immediately called to scold me. “We didn’t hire you just to cook sweet rice dumplings every day! If that’s all that’s needed, we could do it ourselves. What are we paying you for? Are you fooling around? Did we underpay you?” I didn’t argue with her, but I failed to maintain the forbearance expected of a cultivator.
A few days later, the elderly woman accidentally changed the settings on her 54-inch television, causing it to stop working. She called her daughter for help. As soon as Fang arrived, she reprimanded me, “You’ve been here for a whole week. How can you still not know how to operate the TV?”
She only showed me how to switch from the small screen to the large screen—she never explained the other functions, so I didn’t know how to program it. Once again, I felt I failed a test. Although I remained outwardly calm, I was deeply shaken with mixed emotions churning within me. I hadn’t really viewed the situation from the perspective of the Fa, and my heart was far from peaceful.
I realized that I still had human attachments, and they had to be eliminated. I felt discouraged by my poor cultivation state. Because I repeatedly failed these tests, one troublesome situation after another arose. Aside from watching television, the elderly woman loved calling her daughter. Whenever she called Fang, Fang would immediately phone me and scold me. “We’re paying you to keep my mother company. You can’t stay in your room all the time. You should be paying attention whenever she washes her face, brushes her teeth, or goes to the restroom.”
Confronted with repeated misunderstandings, criticism, and even unfair accusations, I looked inward to see what I hadn’t done well. I constantly reminded myself to fulfill my responsibilities, take good care of the elderly woman, and consider things from Fang’s perspective.
I kept wondering how I could make the elderly woman happy and ease Fang’s concerns. I thought about it constantly. One day, while I was out running an errand, I noticed a street lined with beautiful flowers. The surroundings were lovely. I thought, “The elderly lady stays indoors all the time, how boring that must be? Wouldn’t it be nice to take her outside to enjoy some fresh air and admire the flowers?” The next day, I took her out for a walk. We enjoyed the flowers, and I even took her to get a haircut. I continued doing this for an entire week. The elderly woman was much happier, and Fang no longer had any reason to criticize me.
However, Fang soon brought over a wheelchair and asked me to take her mother outside in it. I agreed. Whenever I skipped a day, Fang would call and scold me again, “Why didn’t you take my mother downstairs today? From now on, you must take her out every single day!” The moment I heard the words “every single day,” my mind went blank and my heart raced. My attachment to wanting to hear pleasant words, along with my aversion to being criticized suddenly swelled up and exploded.
Angrily, I replied, “When we first agreed on this job, I was hired to cook, do the laundry, clean the house, and take care of things. Your mother is physically strong and can take care of herself. I took her out because I wanted her to be healthier and happier, and I thought it would put your mind at ease. Now you’re demanding that we go out every day!” Fang immediately became furious. She shouted at me over the phone and berated me.
Hearing this only made me angrier. I’d never been scolded like that, not even by my mother or stepfather. Fang’s harsh criticism made me completely forget that I was a cultivator. I blurted out, “Then find someone else. I quit!”
Soon after this I began feeling mentally numb and sluggish. My chest felt tight, my body felt heavy and sore, and I was miserable. It took me three days to recover. I’d been completely swept along by ordinary human emotions and I’d fallen to the level of an everyday person. I quickly realized something was wrong with my cultivation state.
After calming down, I reflected on the five conflicts that had deeply affected me. Throughout each one, my thoughts centered entirely on how poorly others treated me—how they found fault with me, demanded more and more, spoken harshly, misunderstood me, criticized me, complained about me, and looked down on me. In short, I thought Fang was wrong. I looked outward instead of inward, argued over who was right and who was wrong, and I failed to cultivate myself.
I thought, “Master, I was wrong. What should I do? I don’t want to continue like this.” Seeing my sincere wish to improve, Master gave me a hint that night through a dream. In the dream, I entered an office in a factory and saw an ordinary-looking, short man reclining against a box with a lewd expression on his face. I immediately scolded him.
Someone told me, “He’s the workshop supervisor.”
Afterward, I found myself standing at a construction site. I saw an elderly man lying on the ground to my left and the workshop supervisor lying on my right. A thought came to me that the supervisor was laying there because I scolded and injured him. Then five people came looking for me, determined to seek justice on his behalf. Frightened, I ran and hid everywhere until I woke up.
The moment I woke up, I understood: Fang was that workshop supervisor in a previous life, the one I scolded and injured. The five people seeking justice represented the five times Fang criticized and berated me in this lifetime. I realized that I had come to her family to repay a karmic debt.
I was deeply grateful for Master’s timely enlightenment. I immediately picked up Zhuan Falun. Opening it at random, my eyes fell upon following words:
“In cultivation, there may be two scenarios when dealing with specific conflicts or when others treat you badly. One is that you might have treated this person badly in your previous life. You feel in your heart that it is unfair, “How can this person treat me like this?” Then why did you treat this person that way in the past?” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
The moment I read Master’s Fa, every abnormal sensation in my body instantly disappeared. My heart became light, peaceful, and bright. I knew that Master helped me and removed those two attachments that stood on my cultivation path like blocks of granite.
Once my heart changed, so did Fang. From then on, she greeted me with a smile, spoke to me kindly, and no longer made things difficult for me. I also began caring for the elderly woman wholeheartedly. Whenever I took her out for walks, I was once again able to clarify the truth about the persecution to people. On one occasion, I successfully persuaded seven people to quit the Chinese Communist Party and its affiliated organizations. One of them said gratefully, “You are such a kind person! Whenever I see you, I feel especially comfortable. I really like you.” I knew that Master was encouraging me through that person’s words, and I also knew that it is the Fa and Master who truly save people.
Now I make it a habit to look within unconditionally, cultivate myself well, and help save more people.
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