(Minghui.org) Ms. Huang Shu-nu, 62, grew up in poverty in a family full of conflict. Hoping to change her miserable fate through marriage, she instead ended up with a mother-in-law who provoked even more conflict. Her daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, driving her almost to the brink of despair. She often wondered, “Why do some people have good lives, while I have so much suffering?”
She studied the theory of fate and the Four Pillars of Destiny (a ancient Chinese system that analyzes one’s character and future) looking for answers, only to discover that fortune-telling could only reveal the trajectory of a person’s destiny, but couldn’t change it. In 2000, she came across the book Zhuan Falun, which led her on a new journey to find answers. She gradually discovered that, although she couldn’t alter her life’s arrangement, she could change her mindset when facing adversity.
Born Into Misery
Shu-nu was born into a poor rural family in Taiwan, the youngest of five children. Her father drank and gambled, and eventually lost all of the family’s farmland. Her mother was hearing-impaired from a childhood fever, and later lost an arm in a car accident. She couldn’t find a job, and had to go door-to-door selling sundries to support the family. Later, her mother suffered from bipolar disorder due to all her father’s extramarital affairs, and was often suicidal.
Shu-nu recalls, “My most vivid childhood memory is my father coming home drunk, yelling and making a scene. All of us kids were so scared that we hid under our quilts, crying.”
Her older brothers and sisters dropped out of school early and left home to find work to support the family. As an adult, Shu-nu worked during the day to earn her tuition and living expenses, and attended night school in the evenings, hoping to escape poverty through hard work.
When Shu-nu was 24, she married a work colleague. Her husband prioritized family, so she had to give up her career and become a full-time housewife, which put her under constant pressure from her domineering mother-in-law.
“I had to cook three meals a day,” Shu-nu recalled. “If the meal wasn’t done properly, my mother-in-law would immediately get upset. I remember once when she was watching me cooking, she suddenly snatched the spoon from me and yelled at me for doing it wrong.”
When this happened, Shu-nu couldn’t take any more and ran to her room. She locked the door and ignored her mother-in-law’s knocking and shouting. When she began to wail outside the door, Shu-nu had no choice but to swallow her resentment and come out. She knelt before her mother-in-law and apologized.
She often felt she’d been dealt a bad hand of cards and couldn’t understand why others had such easy lives.
From Fortune-Telling to Discovering Zhuan Falun
As Shu-nu saw all her former classmates pass the civil service exams or progress in their careers, while she remained trapped in the kitchen and her strained relationship with her mother-in-law, she became even more puzzled by the idea of fate. She began researching the theory of fate and the Four Pillars of Destiny (Ba Zi).
“Before I studied Ba Zi, I knew that people are born with a destiny determined by Heaven. But fortune-telling can only reveal one’s predestined path. The methods for changing one’s fortune only improve things superficially rather than making fundamental changes—they can’t actually change anything. I was very disappointed because I really wanted to change my life,” Shu-nu said.
In 2000, her in-laws’ vacant store couldn’t be rented out, so her husband suggested she open a bookstore. The idea of not having to pay rent and being able to run her own business appealed to Shu-nu and she began planning how to run the bookstore.
After the bookstore opened, a distant relative who practices Falun Dafa (also called Falun Gong) suggested she carry the book Zhuan Falun. Shu-nu liked to sell a wide variety of books, so she agreed. After that, many Falun Dafa practitioners came to buy books and enthusiastically introduced the practice to her.
During quiet periods, Shu-nu picked up Zhuan Falun to read out of curiosity. She said, “At first, I thought it was a book that taught people how to be good. Later, I came to understand that Falun Gong is a profound cultivation practice. Zhuan Falun discusses ‘virtue’ in great detail and explains why people with abundant virtue often hold high office or amass great wealth. I finally realized that only through cultivation—by elevating my character—can I truly change my destiny.”
For the first time, Shu-nu found the answer to the question she had been asking all these years: To change one’s destiny, one must first change oneself.
From Feeling Wronged to Proactively Elevating Herself
After becoming a Falun Dafa practitioner, Shu-nu constantly reflected on her words and actions, measuring herself against the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. In the past, even a single word or gesture from her mother-in-law could upset her, but she began to see it as payback for what she might have done to her mother-in-law in past lives.
She let go of past grievances and began to lovingly care for her mother-in-law. The long-standing distance between them gradually healed through her thoughtful care.
Years ago, her mother-in-law had surgery for bone spurs and afterwards had difficulty walking. She said she yearned to be young again, which touched Shu-nu deeply. She encouraged her mother-in-law to practice Falun Gong and took her to the practice site in the park. From then on, she accompanied her mother-in-law to the park in the mornings and they practiced together, until her mother-in-law passed away peacefully at the age of 88. Shu-nu recalled that her mother-in-law’s foot pain improved significantly after she started practicing Dafa, and she became cheerful and kind-hearted during her later years.
Dealing With Her Daughter’s Illness With Kindness
Shu-nu had three daughters, all of whom were sensible and well-behaved. Her eldest daughter, in particular, was a gifted student at a prestigious school. But in her senior year of high school, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Initially, she simply struggled to focus when speaking and had erratic mood swings. Later, her condition worsened to the point where she even lost control and flew into a rage at school. Shu-nu took her daughter to see doctors. Taking caring of her daughter meant sleepless nights, which gradually pushed her to the brink of mental exhaustion. She said, “It was so tiring back then. Whenever I felt like I couldn’t hold on any longer, I would open Zhuan Falun and read it. As I studied the Fa, the pressure in my heart gradually dissolved.”
One year, to fulfill her daughter’s wish to travel to Japan, Shu-nu accompanied her on a trip to Hokkaido. However, during the ten-day trip, her daughter lost control several times and took her frustration out on her.
Even with such a huge trial, Shu-nu didn’t feel that life was unfair or think about running away as she’d done in the past. Instead, through continuous Fa study and self-reflection, she began to realize that her daughter was also suffering and hadn’t intentionally tried to hurt her.
She learned to let go of her grievances and tried to understand her daughter’s perspective, treating her with kindness and understanding. She cherished their time together, gently absorbing all her daughter’s frustration.
Shu-nu said, “It was Dafa that gave me the strength to survive those agonizing days.” As Shu-nu’s mind gradually became more peaceful, the relationship with her daughter also changed. Her daughter’s condition began to stabilize considerably. Their life returned to calm, and their family relationships became more harmonious.
Shu-nu and her youngest daughter, also a Falun Gong practitioner, smiling happily.
Discovering Life’s True Meaning
Shu-nu used to think that changing one’s destiny meant finding a way to get rid of life’s adversities. Now she understands that, while she can’t determine what life throws at her, she can choose how to respond.
In spite of all life’s adversities, Shu-nu is no longer trapped in misery, but has rebuilt her life. She taught herself to play the saxophone and become the director of the Tian Guo Band. She has participated in various community events and given speeches to share her experiences of how Falun Dafa has transformed her life.
Shu-nu (left), holding a saxophone, with two other members of the Tian Guo Band.
Looking back on her life, from her childhood poverty and unharmonious family, to conflicts with her mother-in-law and her daughter’s illness, Shu-nu asked herself time and again, “Why me?”
Now she is grateful. “I am so thankful to Master for offering me such a wonderful practice, which has taught me the meaning and purpose of life. It truly transformed my heart, and changed my destiny.”
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